every time i drive into one of these drive-through car washes, i imagine that i unwittingly drove into an evil car wash that's been posessed by demons or the blackened soul of a dead murderer or something, and that the machinery is gonna bust out all my windows, reach inside, and beat the crap out of me, mangling me until i'm just a little heap of bloody mess in the drivers seat.

when time's up, the machinery would pull the car into the dryer area, and then gently nudge it back out into daylight. that's when the screaming would start, because the dude who's there to wipe off the excess water from the windows would see the gruesome present the demonic car wash just made for him.

does this make me wierd?

and do you think the same jacked up stuff with everyday activities?
20 points if you tell the class, and i don't care if you make something up just so i don't feel like a dorky red-haired stephen king wannabe! in fact, make up as many stories as you want and i'll give you 20 points each!

also, i feel compelled to apologize for not quite finishing the new haiku contest graphic... i did start it, but things have been muy busy. mel won with her "haiku hoedown" suggestion, and points have been awarded. congrats! graphic to follow!

someone sweet brought me into the digital age with a camera on my birthday, so i'm tryin' to play catchup with this whole online photos thing... i gotta tell you, i had no idea that brussel sprouts looked like fucked up little palm trees before they make it to the store. i always assumed they grew like lettuce. tiny, tiny lettuce.

but back to the story about the taking digital photos for the first time. i'm a 'tard, see? i started putting photos up on flickr with plans to include stuff from the short shorts party and our shenanigans at the orange county fair yesterday. i didn't think to make anything smaller for the internets, so after just 11 pictures uploaded i used up my 20 megabytes of space for the month. garrr. but go check out some pictures!

i've also decided to start a folder on my hard drive of films i make when i have the camera accidentally set to the movie mode when i'm trying to take pictures... there's no sound and since i don't know a movie is being filmed, it's very jumpy and kinda blair witchy spooky. someday i will splice these three to four second long bits together for a blockbuster summer screamfest to show at a theater near you!

so this flickr thing... do they mean you used up your space until the end of the month with the end of the month being july 31, or the end of from when you started uploading, which would make it no more online pics for me until august 29? cuz that would be hella lame.

p.s. i just made out with my camera. it was hot.

FW:

guess what came in the mail today! i'm gonna roll around in em like scrooge mcduck for a while, stay tuned because soon a limited number of the black dots stickers will be available for fifty cents cheap on this very site!

update! stickers are up and good to go! check it out!

plop plop, buddy! what a damn whirlwind of a b-day weekend!

thanks to everyone who hung out with me, sent me birthday greetings or put hexes on me over the past few days - it's been good times fun! here's what i been up to:

friday: got outta work crazyearly, had a lovely pizza dinner with josh courtesy of costco. courtesy up until the point where they made us pay. saw a very skinny tweakergirl with way too many tattoos. seriously, folks, you know those huge display cases with the flippy pages at tattoo parlors where they've got tons of flash art you can have permanently applied to your body? she looked like a walkin' one of those. later that night went with nikki and her friend kim to club clockwork orange and did a whole lot of cuttin' foot loose and robot dancing, and more than a little drinking...

saturday: printed out some hilarious decorations for the short shorts party. if you'd like to emulate our swanky party decor, simply do a google image search for short shorts, print out the choicest ones (i.e. tom selleck), and tape em to your walls! martha would be here to tell you it's a good thing but the girl's still under house arrest and for some reason her email wouldn't take the photos i tried sending...

had lunch with ann and michelle at tequila jacks, and then went on a wedding crasher quest! meaning it was showing too late at one theater and had just started at the theater a few blocks away so we missed the first 15 minutes... but no matter, it was amazing and i laughed my ass off!

later on, josh and i got together with sharron and her husband for dinner at the pike. afterwards we started a tour of dive bars of long beach, starting with the reno room. we hooked up with one of those trivia games as team fred, and royally kicked some filthy trivia ass! the bar tour was cut short at 10:30 cuz josh had work the net day and i got a massive stomachache, but those two places were pretty cool and should be visited again! and soon! team fred will take on anyone, anytime, anywhere!

sunday: had lunch with josh's uncle, who i helped put together some high school reunion tee shirt transfers for. went home and baked some red-hot brownies and god guacamole, then went over to michelle and joe's for party shenanigans! my nephew jake was so funny about making sure everyone was getting up... i mention this because he noticed that his dad joe wasn't playing at all and he made him dance. also finally met that other artist steph from long beach and a couple of her friends and got to hang out with brittanie, danielle, kevin and lauren for the first time in ages, which was really great.

later on, as we got bored with standard ddr play we switched to mondo team ddr, which means 8 people sit on the floor and each one mans an arrow on the two pads, and whichever team loses gets pointed and laughed at! try this at home, kiddies!

stay tuned for pics from this blessed event!

monday: *cough* *cough* *hack* i was.. sick... so i stayed home from work. thought hanging out at my sister's place with her and josh would help and it totally did. was well enough to go check out bewitched, and am i hopeless if i liked it a lot? cuz i kinda did. a lot. and i can't wait til 40 year old virgin comes out!!

went to macaroni grill for dinner with a bunch of kids - josh, brandon, michelle & joe and their kids, and chris and nikki were all able to come out and eat filthy food and point and laugh as i sat in some gum some punk kid had left in my chair... but suck it, cuz my dinner was free as a result! yes! and free cake! party!

and what better way to wrap up a birthday weekend then with a lovely little trip to the dmv to try and finally finish up the month-long ordeal that has been getting my drivers license renewed? i showed up bright and early again, with another appointment, with all my eye doctor paperwork filled out and i felt like i was going to throw up. i think mostly because even though my driving record's clean and everything's been stable for years now, i was still worried they would tell me i was too broken to drive and take my license, making me a bona-fide loser. so to put it cleanly for the nuns who read this site, i was shitting bricks by the time the guy got in my car. to the point that i forgot where my front defrosters were when he asked me to show him. but then i snapped out of it and performed all my driving test parlor tricks like a champ! jumped a bus through a flaming ring of fire and everything, and even stuck the landing!

got 10 points taken off - someone told me that was from 100 points, so i guess that's pretty amazing. especially if you've seen my driving. in celebration, i proceeded to break as many driving laws as i could on the way to work - ran over twelve kids while going 80 in a school zone, ran my wipers without having the headlights on, used my cell phone without a handsfree device and listened to my walkman with those big fat 70s headphones on at the same time, sped through red light after red light, dumped my fast food leftovers all over the freeway and picked up 30 hitchhikers outside a federal penitentary...

don't expect no postin from me til tuesday! happy weekending!

man i wish you guys coulda seen josh in action last night as it was discovered that he missed his career calling. i don't even remember what brought it on - probably the discovery of a humongous plate full of forgotten watermelon slices on one of the tables...

the guy starts figuring out what's the fastest way to plow through a slice of watermelon (a'la eating contests from county fairs)?

i'd be hard-pressed to say any of the 15 or so pieces of fruit that followed actually made it into his mouth - but folks, that's not the point of the eating contests! it's all about SEEK AND DESTROY!

every time i think of josh getting through a slice of watermelon in 2.3 seconds i laugh my damn ass off. 100% pure comedy gold.

i'm one of those people that gets cold way, way too easily... it could be 90 degrees outside, and if a breeze kicks up i'm usually reaching for a jacket, and this seriously irritates me. why do i have to be cold all the time!

right now i'm at work and it's probably 75 but the air conditioner's on or something and it's freakin' chilly but i'm trying to fight the urge to put the jacket on because i really shouldn't be cold right now! GARRR!

still can't name the winner of the name-the-haiku-contest contest because there hasn't been a good chunk of time to sit down and do the graphic. i hate to say you're gonna have to wait til next week, but you know. i'm super-important and don't have time for you anymore. you probably shouldn't buy me any birthday presents. (but you totally should anyways)

also, file this under old news, but did you know baby's daddy died?

okay so our ceramics teacher, she gave us a piece of bamboo last week, right? it looks like a slightly curved board, about 3" x 5" or 6". this week we're supposed to come up with something that will utilize that piece of board once it comes out of the kiln.

if you ask me, i think someone was cleaning out their junk drawer last week and found some random stuff she had no use for, and is now passing it off as a ceramics project.

i'm going to just make a nice, even slab of clay. and the teacher will ask me what it is. and i will put my wood on top of it, and try so hard to keep a straight face when i say "it's my bamboo plank holder."

(start shaking your fist here, people)curse you cingular, trying to steal my money!!!

a couple of weeks ago i added danielle to my cell phone account, right? she had had a pay as you go plan with t-mobile, and when we brought her to the dark side that is cingular we tried to get her phone number to come with her. that ended up being a no-go, so we got her a spanky new cell phone number. but on my bill this month they charged me for both her t-mobile number that she didn't even use, AND the new cingular number.

okay, that was fixed, i don't have to pay for the t-mobile number.

but also, on a scale of one to ten this gets eleven for weirdness... over half of her text messages showed up as international ones, which are twenty cents a pop. okay, maybe danielle possibly knows one person overseas? i don't know. but i know for sure that she doesn't know like 30 different people overseas. and my own phone number sure as hell ain't overseas, so they had to fix that extra $12 charge, too. what a bunch of chumps!

it was just another example of how much cell phone companies hate change. cuz every time you change something, they fuck everything up. it's all smoothed out now, supposedly, but damn. what a mess!

i've got bug bites, they're really itchy, and i think i have west nile. the end!

we interrupt this blog for a late breaking news story.

josh has not really forgotten how to blog!

we now return you to your program, already in progress.

okay i love how when you sign up for an account on flickr, and you're setting up your profile, and you upload your little personal icon, the website tells you this when it confirms it got your file:

"your new buddy icon looks nice!"

also of note, i finally know the code to link something and have an image in this here blog without looking it up! there's html coding hope for me possibly... but probably not. i still can't do anything major without my crack team of specialists. (that'd be jenn and mark to you)

so this week's been kinda a crazy whirlwind of stuff and i apologize for ignoring everyone and not being on the computer - there's been no free time whatsoever at work, and josh's mom came into town this week and we've all just been hangin' out. she recently bought a house in new mexico, so the time we're gonna be able to spend with her's gettin' limited and that just stinks!

yesterday we went up to the fashion district in la so carole could find this one particular fabric she's been lookin for to make a bedspread. we spent a blissful 3-4 hours wandering into a billion different fabric stores and totally found something, rock on! also found a plethora of other things - i bought a cheezy headband with strawberries on it, a birthday present for my sister brittanie, fabric for two different fun skirts, some quality wooden feet to make an ottoman with, and a big chunk of sequiny elastic stuff to make one of those awesomely sweet sequin belts... the best part about that last one is i had seen those belts at forever 21 for $12, and i was like TWELVE DOLLARS!?!?! no way! so i bought the sequins to make the thing, not even thinking that yeah, almost every clothes booth in the fashion district would have the belts for $3. but mine will mean more because i made it? question mark?

the weird crazy awesome thing about the fashion district is you can find literally anything you want there. you want bootlegged dvds of movies that are still in theaters? done! you want contact lenses without a perscription? done! you've been wanting a polar fleece blanket with a huge ugly bootleg mickey mouse on it? done!you'd like a baby pet duck but you don't want the hassle of going to the park and catching one yourself? done and done, my friends! okay... maybe it should be more like if you want something sort of shady and possibly illegal, then go to the fashion district. but man is that place fun. we had an amazing time.

and today i must find some short shorts. for i hear there is a bday party of the short shorts variety next sunday, and i simply must have something to wear!

real quick - i decided in times of not being able to post as frequently as i'd like, i'm gonna post a topic for haikus and the best one will win a buttload of points. a competition, if you will. i'm gonna do a graphic for it this weekend, but i need a good catchy name. what's a good h word that means a competition of some sort?

like haiku hari-kari!! but that doesn't really make any sense, you know? i need a good h word that says contest or something, because alliteration always acts as a... cooling agent? that's not the word i was looking for.

okay, it doesn't have to be an h word. but if you come up with the winning haiku competition title, you get 100 points! deadline is midnight saturday night, you can submit as many names as you'd like, so get to it!

josh and chris found the perfect way to explain the very close, special brotherly bond they share last night in the pharmeceutical section at costco.

also of note yesterday is that my sister michelle and i spent literally 4.5 hours in a row drinking and playing dance dance revolution on her husband's xbox. she had spoken some smackage earlier in the week, to which i politely reminded her that i am the reigning queen of ddr. joe finally bought a second dance pad last night, and it was on like butter pecan. i love that the xbox ddr has la cucaracha on it, and the theme song from flashdance. i busted out the torn sweatshirt and legwarmers, and then i showed her who was boss! let it be knownst throughout the lands that i'm still the best damn ddr player this side of the mississippi! (please note: this is only on the easier levels, and only when not playing against mark, who is the best damn ddr player on the other side of the mississippi. but mostly only because jenn and i made him that way.)

good god i want a cupcake!

that reminds me! required viewing today includes "do you like waffles?" by parry of nerf herder and animated by nathan mazur. write a five page paper discussing your thoughts on it, include bibliography and works cited pages, and get 1 point! 25 points to michelle for showing me this freaking amazing cartoon. i watched it like fifty times at her house this morning, and then i came home, paid some bills, and watched it again. it made me rememeber that man, i need to make a cartoon sometime soon!

lemme tell you about last night, man.

it was the angela daniels birthday spectacular, so we did things up right, hollywood style. drove out to meet angela and her buds at the hollywood and highland complex, on the corner of hollywood and highland in... hollywood. never really hung out there before - went very briefly once a few years ago but it was late night and we were there maybe 3 seconds. but anyways, wandered around a bit before the rest of the people got there and just kinda took it in. saw where the kodak theater was and it just kind of left a weird taste in my mouth. you know, the oscars used to be held at the shrine auditorium. that building's amazing. absolutely gorgeous. very classy. and while i haven't seen the inside of the kodak theater... essentially the oscars are held at the mall. which is just weird and kind of dumb.

so i headed out to the street when angela and company got closer so they could pick me up, and the very first star i see when coming out of the place was ryan seacrest's. some tourists went walking by as i stood in front of it, one of em says "look, it's ryan seacrest's star" and then they all start busting up laughing as i slowly flipped it off and snapped a pic. my problem with his star is this: steve martin is just getting his star. and how long has ryan seacrest been around? also, how'd he get a star that's right smack in the middle of tourist town? his star should be out on a back road somewhere where the jerks and losers live.

i don't particularly have any problems with susan sarandon, but josh hates her with the fire of a thousand suns so i took this one for him...

so got picked up by angela, jamie, shannon and dave-mike and we went to jamba juice... please don't hit me josh... we didn't buy anything, i swear! one of the guys that worked there just wanted to give angela a birthday hug! really! no delicious smoothies for us! headed back to the mall and had some eats at johnnie rockets. god i love grilled cheese. it's just amazing. our waiter there was completely bored, looked like he would fall over from the ennui at any given moment every time he came to the table. later, before we were getting ready to leave, he comes back to the table and asks (very bored-like) what the birthday girl's name was. then he must have snorted like fifty pixie sticks, because he comes back out with some ice cream and shouts "HEY EVERYONE WE GOT A BIRTHDAY GIRL HERE! HELP US SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANGELA!!! WOOOO!!!"

craziness. the ice cream was good, too. maybe too much whipped cream on top, but you can't look a gift ice cream in the mouth. mostly because it don't have one.

wandered around a bit more, then went to kojis. got some drinks and went to a table outside. and as we were chattin, havin a good ol' time, we start to realize that through the window, at the bar, is an actor we all recognize, but from different places. i said i swear i saw him in the first season of 24, someone else said 6 feet under, someone else said texas chainsaw massacre... my research this morning shows it was none other than eric balfour, who i just remembered was also on the oc a bunch of times!! holy crap! how did i miss that last night! we could've serenaded him with phantom planet's "california"!

i don't see stars in their natural habitat very often, and having him and his friends sitting at the counter facing the window right across from our table... it was a bit like watching monkeys at the zoo. they were very interested in a sidekick someone was passing around, probably the one paris lost and definitely containing nekkid photos of her...

then they came outside and i had the brilliant idea of trying to get a covert photo of him with my trusty cameraphone. so i got everyone to go to the other side of the table for a group shot to commemorate angela's birthday. then i tried to discretely direct them as to where the gap should be so we could have a photo of eric, too. my phone really seems to like daytime conditions better, as evidenced here... the quality just goes way downhill.

i did, however, get lenka trying to cop a feel with angela.

and finally, the photo we're selling to star magazine later today - STARS! THEY'RE JUST LIKE US! they drink red wine at little tables outside a sushi bar in hollywood!

shortly after these photos were taken eric and his friends went back inside... i'm sure it had nothing to do with our very, very covert operations. what a fun night. happy birthday angela!

for the most part, i don't really know anything about my geneology, nor do i really care. but i wonder if i was related to this dude, because that'd be kinda neat. you'd all be like 3 degrees of seperation from alfred hitchcock if i was...

and i bet that'd be an awesome conversation starter at a party.

i just wanted to see how this looked when i sent something directly from my cell to my blog, instead of all the steps i usually take resizing and so on... please enjoy this filthy pic of my brother el brando, taken at roscoes chicken and waffles a few months ago...

ooof, man! i am beat. not as beat as some filthy dirty birds who got stuck working 17 hour days on the fourth, but beat all the same.

rolled outta bed around 7 and got a veritable crapton of work done on the website yesterday! feast your eyes on the new link to your right, which is the compilation of all sites bearing my sacred seal of approval! my dream is to have that list be millions and millions of names long, people! it's a telethon, supported by viewers like you! let's make it happen!

michelle and i ate the entire bowl of homemade god guacamole for lunch. felt a tad sick after that. too much good stuff, you know what i'm sayin? got into a fistfight with joe over just how much fireworks they had - he says we have $75 in fireworks here! and i'm like dude you guys only spent $55. you have 55 dollars worth of fireworks here. and he's all nuh-uh, look at this label! (pointing to one of two fireworks packages sitting there) it says $50 worth of fireworks for only 30 bucks!

i'm like yeah, chump, so you have $30 in fireworks sitting there! and then i punched him in the face because shut up boy, you're both right!

joe made some insane islands-worthy tropically crazy burgers for dinner - the patties were marinated in teriyucky sauce for 4 hours, and then when he put em on the grill, he put a filthy slice of swiss cheese on there and then a slice of pineapple before serving on ze bun and hot damn, you didn't even have to put ketchup or anythign on there; it was amazing.

also amazing is josh has never had white castle burgers. i bought some at the grocery store this weekend to bring the guy up to speed.

so yes! after dinner, michelle, joe, hailey, jacob, lori and yours ever so truly lit off the billions of fireworks! billions, i tells ya! every time we or one of the neighbors lit off one of those strobelighty looking ones it was the cue to begin robot dancing. also, i wish i worked at a fireworks factory, particularly in the naming department. i want SOOOOO bad to see a firework named "burning sensation". or one called "fire down below" or "if you light this firework you're a dirty slut" would be good, i think. at the end of the hour and a half long explode-a-thon, which ended with a spectacular one we call "la bomba", we still had like 4 boxes of sparklers left and hailey and jacob were still gungho but the rest of us were completely over it. so joe (in a stellar display of this weeks episode of "good things to show your kids", evening edition) put a box full of sparklers in each hand - his lovely assistant michelle (emphasis on the ass, mind you) lit em up and he demonstrated how he could draw huge circles in the air with many sparklers all at once. IT WAS AMAZING!!!

then we went inside and had brownies. even better than the millions of fireworks that were goin' off around us was going inside and having complete silence. the end!

also, please visit danielle's blog and read her july 5th entry for a wonderful example of just how freaking retarded people are. the end!

you know what i love about all my friends?

yes, even you, josh. but put some pants on. the neighbors are watching.

i love that you guys are all so freaking awesomely creative, and that you come up with all these amazingly fresh ideas all the time. and that your work, though you may not always think so, it's bad-ass. and it makes me hate my own stuff sometimes... like bust out the drano and bottoms up, losers, because your ideas, your writing, your art, your whatever is so awesome it makes my stuff look like hot steaming poo in comparison.

not that i actually really don't like my stuff. just that i love that all of you are so awesome, and that it keeps me motivated.

except for you michelle. you stink. take a shower.

no, i was kidding! (god i hope you bought that i was kidding, because i totally wasn't.)

so that's my warm fuzzy thanks to my friends for the day. and really, isn't that what the 4th of july is all about? blowing stuff up?

yeah i know i posted just three seconds ago. i forgot to tell you a funny story.

remember when hellboy was in theaters? jenn and i were still in wisconsin at the time... i don't know what set it off, but when that movie came out we started crank calling people as the movie's star, ron perlman. the phone calls would sound something like this:

"uhhhhh hello(this whole thing is done with a very low, very fake sounding man's voice), this is ron perlman. i just wanted to let you know that my blockbuster hit hellboy is in theaters now, and it'd be just great if you went and checked it out. if you'd like to know more about this and other movies on my resume please feel free to call me, ron perlman, at area code 920, 555-HELL. thanks, this is ron perlman, see my movie in theaters now, gotta go, bye!"

usually, we could only keep a straight face through the first couple of sentences before the giggling would set in. after a while, the movie left theaters and the ron perlman calls dwindled to maybe one or two a week. but then the movie came out in video stores, and the ron perlman calls came back in full force - this time he was reminding people to check out his blockbuster hit hellboy, in video stores now!

my favorite is when i call a reputable establishment, say, where i used to get my hairs cut, and i get their answering machine, because those business answering machines ALWAYS get a ron perlman message. suffice it to say we've been milking this hellboy thing for about a year and a half now.

yesterday i was on the phone with ann, and we were talking about how she was at target, drooling over the daily show election dvds that had come out. but how she got hellboy instead.

"did you watch it? was it good?" i ask.

there's silence on the other end of the phone. "you haven't seen it?" she asks.

"uh... no." i reply.

"you're always talking about ron perlman and this movie!" she shouts, "you and jenn love this movie!!!"

"ahahhahhaha nah, we just love ron perlman and being asses! but jenn finally saw it recently, and i hear it's good," i tell her.

"i feel so misled," she says.

it just cracks me up to no end, because our over-the-top fake phone calls from ron perlman saying to buy hellboy actually caused someone to go out and do it! we're gonna do it up right and eat brownies and watch some hellboy tonight, and then depending on how it goes ron may join us on a few prank calls! be forewarned!

r-o-w-d-i-e that's the way we spell rowdie!

who the hell taught that person how to spell rowdy, is what i wanna know. i blame the public school system.

******

okay so on last season's apprentice, i had painted a mural for that angie chick a few years ago.

the reality show fun don't stop there, people, this season i know someone who's on that rock star show, where inxs is lookin' for the next michael hutchinson! one that won't off himself this time, let's hope. wowweee wow wow! ty taylor's pretty awesome, we worked together at thinkbox a few years back, where he did all the musical type stuff for the kindle park website. and if you haven't heard his old band dakota moon then you should pick up their cds and check em out.

and watch this rock star show, cuz i bet it'll be shenanigans!

******

"jerri, what does v-i-c-t-o-r-y spell?"

"fan...dan...go?... h-ho-hobocamp?..hobocamp!"

last night was a night of firsts.

i saw weird science for the first time. or most of it, anyways... i was all wiped out from work so i ended up crashin' and burnin' for the last 15-20 minutes, but that is some funny, funny crap! we also rented stripes, we'll probably get around to that in a couple of days or something.

and josh had recently seen the boobs emoticon for the first time!

you know the one.

(.)(.)

that one.

or ( . )( . ) if you're more... endowed.

i've got almost nothing else... wish i'd been able to go to warped tour yesterday, stoopid lack of money and days off from work. danielle, chump that she is, met higgins and greg k from the offspring at their table. add that to she already talks to noodles online and we met dexter holland at the house of blues one fateful night a couple of years back, and she's pretty much met the whole band. that chumo!!!

finishing up a whole bunch of projects this weekend, hopefully. gotta do an embroidery test to see if i can indeed sew fishnets onto my hooker painting without stretching it out, gotta finish a pair of socks for a coming-up birthday, have to start a couple of those horrible pics of movie stars paintings for a show i wanna enter at the end of the summer... i can't wait to do tara reid.

that came out sounding completely wrong.

but oh, so right.

no, wait, that was sick and wrong.

p.s.! 10 points for your emoticons!

garrrrr, i have to go kill myself... apparently i'm a damn dirty hippie.

Hippie You are 28% Rational, 85% Extroverted, 14% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.

You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, and humility, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and love to all! You are probably either very spiritual or needlessly paranoid about "the man", like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You are also very, very social. And like any hippie, who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people, you too love to interact with others, even complete strangers. Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth. In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. And you listen to psychadelic rock and smoke a whole lot of pot. Okay, maybe not, but I wouldn't be surprised if you did. To put it less negatively: 1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational. 2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted. 3. You are more GENTLE than brutal. 4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant. Compatibility: Your exact opposite is the Sociopath. Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Televangelist, and the Robot. * * If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits. The other personality types: The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 9% on Rationality You scored higher than 85% on Extroversion You scored higher than 6% on Brutality You scored higher than 19% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid