this article leads me to believe i can't, in fact, offer up my nephew for sale...

so i guess i'm gonna have to retract the super-mega-ultra-neato-superchunky-now-with-real-butter-platinum membership level of sponsorship for the site that you can achieve with a three thousand dollar donation. or not - how about instead you get all previous premiums listed as well as a cabbage patch kid guarunteed to be from my childhood? it's totally proveable, i'm sure you could pull some ancient steph spit dna from there somewhere...

the spit was cuz i drooled on it as a kid, not cuz i tried to make out with it last week, i swear.