In just a sec I'm gonna go add my Haynes repair manual to my list of favorite books on the celebrity pokemon site. Because I love love love being able to fix minor things on my car all by myself. Except for the times (like today's lunch hour) when I think I did something very wrong. But then when I find out I wasn't doing anything wrong, I love that book all over again.

There are so many things to look forward to in the near future. 2 things in particular:

1) Free viewing of the Eddie Money show at Waterfest from the comfort of the Main Street bridge

2) Getting all of my art delivery off my desk and the end of the work week tomorrow

3) Maybe eating a friend of Pinchy's tomorrow night

4) two words: Ikea and White Castle on Saturday

5) getting together insane pictures to send to the alma mater for their new alumni mag

6) going back to California at the end of Sept. or beginning of October for Disney Character Dept.'s yearly prom-thingie fun with my sister

7) going back to California in 2 years

A few years ago, I read about a study that was done that put the 50 states in order according to the quality of driving contained within. Last on the list, with the worst drivers, was Georgia and then California. Having lived in both places for a good chunk of time I can honestly get behind both claims.

I don't know where Wisconsin fell on that list, but I swear to god it better have been right there with CA and GA.

This is a very important message to the guy who purposefully almost plowed headfirst into my car tonight while I was coming home from bgosh.

If you are stopped at, for instance, the intersection of Jackson and Pearl while heading east at around 8:30 at night and you happen to notice a driver stopped at that same light but heading in the opposite direction has a couple of lights on but not the main headlights, it is a good idea to flash your headlights a couple of times to helpfully remind them to turn their lights on.

Seeing as that approximate time is dusk, and not pitch black out, you probably will see some movement in the other car as the driver tries to rectify the problem.

And usually POW! the other car's lights will magically turn on! You are so helpful!

HOWEVER, if the other driver's lights do not go on, maybe there's something wrong with the headlights - say, a blown fuse.

In this case, where the other driver's lights do not go on, it is not, I repeat not, in anyone's best interest for you to drive directly towards that partially headlightless car in an effort to emphasize that the other driver should turn their goddam headlights on, and then swerve out of the way at the last second. That is not helpful, it is asshole.

Also, I could've been that gang member from the urban legend, ready to jack the next car that flashed its headlights at me.

I don't know what happens in the movie, but if Jason and Freddy are smart evil-guys they'll team up and wreak havoc all over the place.

Anyone else out there watching Nip/Tuck on FX?

I'm busy chatting with Jen and watching TV. So no big fat post to you. But happy birthday to Brittanie and Justin, and don't leave deodorant in your gym bag to sit in the hot hot car all day long.

Unless you want to see what liquified deodorant looks like. Then by all means, do it.

My gym bag smells like clean soapy pits.

More on this gripping news story as it develops.

why do i bite my nails? i do so good for so long and then pow! back to biting again.

Sometimes, and I've got another person backing me up on this, Oshkosh smells like baby-poo filled diapers.

Not like it's a put-down or anything, cuz Savannah sometimes has it's own particularly bad stench thanks to the paper mill.

required listening for everyone everywhere is "institution" by suicidal tendencies. because all anyone really wants is a pepsi. unless you're like me and you like coke better.

i really shouldn't be on here - i came in to work on the take your kid to work day tshirt and now i'm just slacking off - but before i go i gotta say the air force ones are my friends and good ol' trav made me tear up this morning with the supernice stuff he said about me on the celebrity pokemon site. i miss the days when we would hang out all the time being crazy and shit in savannah.

i love how sleepiness comes and goes in fits and starts. just 30 minutes ago i was dozing on my couch, trying to watch the movie "spun" with jen. now i'm awak enough to blog. plop plop ploppity plop on you.

the birthday was wonderful except for my mom, but i got her to hang up on me so that was pretty wonderful, too. my brownies with red hots in them (courtesy of jen and her new book) and the cookies with the orange bits and white chocolate chips and macadamia nuts in them went over really really well, i heard from lots of people that mattered and even a few that didn't, got a shitload of candy from various people, and a bunch of my favorite flowers ever and a handmade bag and some more candy courtesy of seeing-eye steph and phil, had some good venting phone calls with michelle, found out danielle is the biggest badass ever for asking my mom 30 seconds after the hang-up incident if she could call me back because she hadn't gotten to talk to me, went out and had a couple strongbows while coming up with new hatchendati laser center commercials with my partner in crime, came home and got some lovely emails from lovely people and continued in the celebrity pokemon while waiting for aol instant messenger to download onto my machine.

the combination of shitty computer and dial-up connection equaled a 25 minute download. wheeeeee.

and today, i think, was a very successful thrifting day, considering i got a sweetass orange leather suitcasey-type stewardessy looking 70s type bag from salvation army for 35 cents.

can't beat 35 cents with a stick.

jen also found the other bust we thought had been lost forever. turns out we thought we had seen it at a different goodwill. but no matter - it's in the hands of it's rightful owner now, until it gets passed on to fanny. which means butt.

and final destination 2, i'd like to go on record as saying, is by far the goriest bloodiest sickest shit i've ever seen. it was pretty fun.

what i saw of spun was good. i love me some john leguizamo.

and the final total of phone conversations with michelle today topped out at 4. i love free long distance on the cell phone.

so 26 has been good to me so far. now i'm going to bed. later, mofos.

i'm seriously done posting. just one more thing (thank you columbo):

tuesday was not a good day for anyone's car.

one more thing:

1) go here.

2) click on #4.

3) look at the gallery.

4) laugh your ass off.

5) rinse. repeat.

Quick for both vehicles, it turns out, was right on.

Cheap was right on, too, depending on how you look at things.

I gotta say, all things considered I would totally recommend Jim's Repair on Fernau St. for all your car-fixing pleasures. They were super fast and pleasant and most importantly they said they gave me a break on my total when the guy I talked to on the phone heard how I was poor and upset that my car might be seriously busted. Sure, maybe they didn't give me the break they claimed - I hear mechanic places like to rip off chicks all the time. But call me crazy, I really like to give people the benefit of the doubt and the rip off chicks thought never really crosses my mind when I go to get my car fixed. Bottom line, I'd just like to believe the best about people until I find out otherwise for myself.

But I digress.

The timing belt broke. Or maybe shredded is a better word. And it could've been much more serious if we had been going faster, resulting in bent valves in the head and a very spendy fix for your hero. But thankfully we were just coming out of a red light when it happened, we were going at most like 15-20 mph, so no engine damage was done. Thank god. Cuz I'm not buying a new car anytime soon. A) I love Chuckles too much despite my bitching about him and B) just can't afford it.

Someday when I'm famous (it'll happen, trust me) I'm going to have one of two cooking shows. It will either be The Uglee Chef, where I make an ass of myself trying to follow a recipe and the end result looks nothing like the photo given, (in fact it's quite unappetizing looking) but tastes really really good, or it'll be The Trashy Chef, where I'll make an ass of myself putting together a tasty dish while completely trashing the kitchen beyond recognition. I haven't decided yet, but I may dress like a tramp to keep up with the trashy theme.

Tonight's baking adventures should've been recorded for The Trashy Chef. I mean WOW. Somewhere along the line I used almost every single dish in my cupboards making a batch of brownies and some cookies. How this happened I don't know. But hot damn I can't wait to eat the stuff tomorrow at work. (it is customary to bake stuff to bring in for others on your birthday. like baked goods. or you can buy something. or you can not bring anything and hope that no one knows it's your birthday so you don't look like a jerk.)

Got the greatest birthday card from my old roomie, containing a photo of him flipping me off. I think I laughed for a good 30 seconds before I tore it up, threw it in a coffee can, and burned the shit out of it.

Just kidding Chris, I actually put it in the toilet and.... you know... relieved myself...

What the hell is my deal tonight? I'm downright gross. I should go try and get Mel in the next round of celebrity pokemon.

That's it, that's our show. The next time you come here, assuming it's tomorrow sometime, you better sing happy birthday to your computer or I'll jump through the phone line all Matrix-like and kick your ass.

So last night I went to Crappleton with Jen to drop her car off at the shop.

Chuckles the Happy Weenmobile Clowncar of Doom obviously got jealous of the r&r Jen's car would be enjoying, so he decided to take a nap just after we got off of the Jackson St. exit on Hwy. 41.

Cheers to AAA and cel phones and cows almost but not quite getting it on for our entertainment and a quick, cheap recovery for both vehicles.

Maya Angelou's voice should be added to the list of things that make me weepy. I think the best thing in the world would be to hear her recite the lyrics to a song like "enter sandman" or "search and destroy".

Drinking is good fun - alert the people. Especially if you're getting drunk while coming up with new and horrible song titles for Donnas songs.

One of my new pasttimes is playing Celebrity Pokemon - gotta catch 'em all!

When you're a good friend of my sisters you get special one of a kind tshirt transfers like this in the mail:




I really want to do a flash animation with that bear. Possibly a sequel to the green skull animation...

Kat, your new shag pad sounds divine. Do you think my landlord would mind if I pulled up the carpet and installed a wooden floor so I could roller disco my way around the apartment?

Bwhahahahaaaaaa, I just looked at the webtracker and someone very recently found my blog after typing "SCAD fashion department sucks" in Google.

And it most certainly does.

Did you know when I was a kid I didn't really like my birthday?

I think things stayed that way until just a few years ago. And then last year I had a completely splendid 25th. It included going to an improv comedy club in Santa Monica one night, where the group got me on stage because one of my friends knew one of the wives of the comedians. It was so much damn fun, and they seemed appreciative that I was an active participant rather than someone who just sat in the chair onstage, giggling nervously. Another huge high point to last year's bday was that my girl Jen in the Pasedena area took me to a swanky Hollywood shindig, where Rosanna Arquette (sp?) was the dj and we saw contestants from the first American Idol and a couple of kids I'd never seen before that Jen swore had been on Buffy a few times. I believe her because she's a massive Buffy freak, in the nicest sense of the word.

This birthday's starting off just wonderfully despite not being able to party with Michelle and the rest of the sibs - Lenscrafters took the time to type my name (in a pseudo-handwriting font, no less) on a birthday card to send me along with a coupon for 25 bucks off. I don't actually need the coupon, but if I break/lose my glasses anytime soon there it is.

And my broken Safe House glass has been replaced because Jen is the ultimate fighting champion of the state.

On to other recent stories. Here's our top headlines:

While I feel really shitty and confused and antisocial and up in the air about the entire chain of events that led up to this, I don't think the full impact of Justin being gone will really hit until I go back to Cali in September and he's not there.

2 things before i give in to the heavy eyelids and go to bed:

danielle, if you're talking about that extra copy of the cd i've already forgotten noodles had, and you have some way to get that sent to me for my birthday or even if it's late, you will be raised to "holy crap you should bow down to my supreme superiority or i will smash you to bits" status. you get that status even if what you're talking about is something so simple as a derogatory autograph from noodles. or maybe just a napkin he used to wipe his mouth after eating at in and out burgers. what i'm saying is anything noodly (except posters, i guess i'm a couple of years past that) would be much appreciated.

also to danielle: call me this weekend - you know the drill.

and i agree with jen - death to stretchy jeans, assholes!

oh and something else that i probably should have realized by now... but really maybe not, seeing as i've never SEEN priscilla queen of the desert before... did you know the bad guy in the matrix who was also mr. leader of the elves guy in lotr (i'm too sleepy and lazy to go through the trouble of finding out his name right now) is one of the drag queens in priscilla queen of the desert?!!? wonders never ever cease.

and now's the time on sprockets when we sleep.

screw capital letters, you capitalist pigdogs.

the mountain dew i had after lunch today had a picture of the hulk on the can, which means now when i get mad i get hulk-powers, so just watch out, mofos. you know how the hulk's nekkid except for his pants? as a girl i hope i can keep my top on. if i go hulk at work, anyways. just doesn't seem very professional to be running around topless and kicking the shit out of everyone during office hours. once 4:30 hits, though, it's open season.

damn it all, jen and i are destined to never ever see the white stripes play in milwaukee.

stoopid car crashes.

I got an email this afternoon from my sister Michelle, complimenting my good taste in Hollywood/rock and roll types but pointing out two major mistakes in the order.

So here's to James Hetfield of Metallica, who in one day jumped from number 60something to number 20something, and Gene Kelly, who jumped up like ten or fifteen spots. The only thing keeping him from going any higher is that I like Donald O'Conner better, hence Gene can't pass him up. And here's to my sis - great minds think alike.

And here's to one of my other sisters, Danielle, for having the good sense to buy me a used copy of Big Willie Style for sexmas a couple of years ago. It's provided hours upon hours of cheezy prada bag wit a lotta stuff in it kind of fun.

I'm too sleepy to write any more. But cheers to Steph and the link she posted to her friend, who had a link to a sweetass crafty site that makes me want to document my own sewing adventures better. Right now I'm sewing a crazy skirt that I will hopefully have in the wear to work rotation by the end of the week. That's all the documentation you get for the night. The end.

She wore a raspberry Corvette,
Like the time I bought a secondhand store.
Raspberry Corvette
I think I love poo.

Prince is a smart guy. But smart doesn't necessarily get you on my list.

So here's what you've all been waiting for, the new improved list with links to fabulous pictures. Keep in mind these things: one, putting them in order was tough - maybe the first 20-30 are accurate, the rest are all jumbled together for the most part. Just remember that it's an honor to be nominated... Secondly, you may not agree with who's on the list or what order they're in and I may not care. I for one would rather be with Jon Stewart than Vin Diesel on any given night.

That being said, here we go. The following is a list of people that I can go and have all kinds of fun with for the night without anyone getting upset with me:

1) Seth Green
2) Noodles
3) Dexter Holland
4) Zach Braff
5) Tim Roth
6) Ben Stiller
7) John Cusack
8) Johnny Depp
9) Luke Wilson
10) Owen Wilson
11) Jon Stewart
12) Samuel L. Jackson
13) Orlando Bloom
14) Brad Pitt
15) Andre 3000
16) Kevin Bacon
17) Hugh Jackman
18) Danny Masterson
19) Christopher Masterson
20) Jeremy Piven
21) Vin Diesel
22) James Hetfield
23) Kiefer Sutherland
24) Colin Farrell
25) Josh Hartnett
26) Giovanni Ribisi
27) Zack Ward
28) Jason Lee
29) Steve Buscemi
30) Ryan Reynolds
31) Jon Abrahams
32) Vince Vaughn
33) Sean Astin
34) Scott Speedman
35) Conan O’Brien
36) Jack Johnson
37) Ewan McGregor
38) Christian Slater
39) Joseph Gordon-Levitt
40) ryan stiles
41) Johnny Knoxville
42) Steve-o
43) Dave Grohl
44) Will Smith
45) Mos Def
46) Thom Yorke
47) John Henson
48) Donald O’Conner (around when Singin’ in the Rain came out)
49) Gene Kelly (around when Singin’ in the Rain came out)
50) Ty Pennington
51) Tony Kanal
52) Laurence Fishburne
53) Adrien Brody
54) Kevin Corrigan
55) Adrock
56) MCA
57) Mike D
58) Mixmaster Mike – no picture available
59) Deryck
60) David Spade
61) Chris Cornell
62) Carlos Bernard
63) Edward Norton
64) Jack White
65) Jason Biggs
66) Michael Vartan
67) Chris Rock
68) Jack Wagner
69) Jimmy Kimmel
70) Michael Ian Black
71) Norm Macdonald
72) Jamie Kennedy
73) Scott Foley
74) Omar Epps
75) Ethan Hawk
76) the bass player from OKGo – no picture available
77) Dominic Monaghan
78) Taye Diggs
79) Craig Kilborn
80) Dave Matthews
81) Benicio Del Toro
82) Dan Aykroyd
83) Tyson Beckford
84) sprint trenchcoat cel phone guy – too hard to find a pic
85) verizon wireless can you hear me now guy – too lazy to find a pic
86) Pete Yorn
87) Pierce Brosnan
88) The Edge
89) Steve Martin
90) Denis Leary
91) Jeff Goldblum (sometime around when The Fly or Earth Girls came out)
92) Paul Newman
93) David Bowie
94) Christopher Titus
95) pre-drug addict robert downey jr.
96) Christopher Walken
97) Keanu Reeves
98) Wesley Snipes
99) Ray Liotta
100) Seann William Scott

hey kiddies, remember that list i started working on months and months ago?

tune in tonight to find out if you're on it, mr. jamie kennedy.

so i'm currently in the middle of an instant-message-catch-up-fest with my buddy James from college, and we got to talking about trading spaces. and his love of paige davis.

so we each went to google and typed "paige davis naked" and found that there's over 6,000 sites for his viewing pleasure.

he says he's not going to look at any of them.

i'm sure he lies.

This, my friends, is a song that was written by myself and one Jen N. while sitting at yonder Cafe A More tonight (to be sung to the tune of "Greased Lightning"):

"I'll slit your throat,
I'll steal your boat,
Pirate Lightning
Yo ho ho ho ho ho ho ho"

It'll be a classic, I'm sure.

There are 4 rides I never miss at the D-land - those rides are the Haunted Mansion, Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain, and the oh so fucking sweet Pirates of the Carribean. I was a little worried that the movie wouldn't do the ride justice - it seems silly that they are just now coming up with a story to go with what has been one of the most popular rides in both that park and the D-world for at least the last 30 years. But boy howdy did they rise to the occasion. It was damn hell ass sweet. You go now! I don't care that it's 2am!!! GO!!!!!!!

And Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp are both my boyfriends.

And, bestill my beating heart, there's a possibility I'll be returning to the homeland for a full week in mid-September for Disney Prom. That's not the only reason I'm going back; I'm always up for a week with the sibs. (there's other reasons that are slightly darker. this is a bright happy post so i'm glossing over those) 'Course, the promise of seeing one of my long distance lovers sooner rather than later doesn't hurt, either.

Chris, I can totally hear you sitting at your computer saying "here we go again." Shut the fuck up.

I'd love to stay and chat, but it seems that it is almost 2am, and there's another horrendous episode of Blind Date just begging to be watched. Later gators.

Oh yeah, and a word to the laundromat-goers out there: the new Maytag place on Witzel and the Car Wash place next to it are both having grand opening type quarter-wash sales. I pass the savings on to you! Now get outta my face!!!

p.s. - don't get me wrong here, I love love love the Osbournes. But the Jack Goes to Rehab special that's on MTV right now... he went on all these crazy drugs to get attention because everyone else was everyone's favorite Osbourne. I don't know how I feel about that.

p.p.s. - and this is funny - My mom doesn't ever really know what she's renting when she goes to the video store. Last weekend she wanted to pick something up to watch with the new man. She remembered how much me and my brother liked this one movie that came out kind of recently, how we said it was freaking hilarious... so she rented Jackass. And she was completely mortified when she found out what it was. Bwahahaha, the end.

A guy I used to know told me once about the active drug in the stuff eye doctors use to dilate pupils. (this whole story might not be true, seeing as the guy who told me the story was crazy-binaculars-guy.) I’m no medical-type person, but if I remember right the drops are atrapine. Back in the olden days (I have no idea what olden days he was referring to – could’ve been anything from Little House on the Prairie times to ancient Rome, I guess) there were some hookery types called The Girls of the Belladonna. And they’d put stuff from this flower belladonna, which contained atrapine, in their eyes to make their pupils huge and supersexy.

To the girls of the belladonna I say this: how the hell did you get anything done?!!?!

I had an eye guy appt. today, and I’m sitting here with my eyes all dilated and it annoys the crap out of me because I can’t see for crap. In a couple of hours or so I’ll be back in commission, but the waiting sucks ass.

On the bright side, no news is good news, and the contact lens doc had no news for me. Thank god. And here’s hoping I get a clean bill of health from regular doctory chick, too, in a couple of week when I ask her about angree stomach pains.

On the even brighter side, I’m getting my hairs chopped off tomorrow!

And my pics from the fourth rule!

Gotta go, the Felicity where she cuts her hair off is on. (you should give the show a chance, it’s crazy-ass fun)

p.p.s. to the guy who always emails me with answers: name someplace where a girl can go trail riding for a good price kind of sort of near oshkoshyness. the end.

p.s. - i can't count for beans. it's actually 18 days until my birthday.

okay, have you heard "the scientist" by coldplay? it's a really great song, and last weekend i finally saw the video for it. it's creepy because you don't find out until the last couple of seconds that it's just a big commercial for wearing your seatbelt. it makes the whole song sound sadder than it already does.

give me one good reason i should do work right now.

Official Steph b-day countdown: 20 days

Hahahaaa, when you bold something now in Blogger it says "strong" in the brackets instead of "b". Reading it, I can hear Strongbad from Homestar Runner in my head. Have you gone to the Shorts section of their site and watched the Meet Marshie short yet? You haven't? Dammit, that's it, you're fired.

You know how I said I was sleeping in til 2?

I am full of lies.

I didn't win the right to buy a solid gold house last night, but there's still a chance on Wednesday. Honestly I never play the lottery unless the jackpot goes well above a hundred million dollars, because A) my probability and statistics teacher in high school said something about how the odds of winning are just slightly better then (i don't remember why) and B) who doesn't want to win an obscene amount of money?

Possibly I'm up early because my brain wanted to trick me into turning on the Jed the Fish countdown.

Plop.

So it's been a mad-crazy couple of days; tomorrow I'm sleeping in til like 2pm or something.

Here's what your hero's been up to: (assuming your hero's me and not, say, Britney Spears)

Went to the Fourth of July parade, where I got to run through the entire bgosh building looking for a bathroom that had a window because the place had lost power and even though the building's very secure it's still creepy as hell trying to feel your way around a pitch black bathroom all alone. (just in case you need the info, the ladies bathroom in the lunchroom's got a window - makes for a bright happy waste-evacuation experience) Got a great photo of a large group of shriners all looking at what could be the world's biggest motorized shopping cart ever. Got on tv. Met someone in the r&d dept. at bgosh. Talked to the old roomie, who was getting ready to play at the Huntington Beach parade. Talked to Danielle for a bit. Met Jen on the street corner while I was trying to drum up business, bwahahahaha.

Went with Jen for lunch at the very interactive Red Robin in Crappleton.

Went to the new Terminator movie. Doesn't matter if the franchise is heading towards campiness, it was still really good and fun and someday when they release a 5 billion dvd set with all of the Terminator movies (I'm sure there will be more in years to come) I will totally buy it. My fave Terminator movie's still T2. Cuz you know how I love my Guns and Roses. (Use Your Illusion 2's got special meaning for me on so many levels... I'll never forget being in grade school, probably close to 8th grade or so, with Simon Dufour goin' around our catholic school repeating that speaking portion in the middle of "Get in the Ring". Good times.)

Came back to the Oshkosh, found out where my eye guy appt. is on Monday.

Drove over to Menomenee Park to take in the wonderment that is Sawdust Days. I love fairs - the funnel cake, the people with the "buy our old crap" booths, the lemonade stand that's located inside a big lemon. The horrible ripoffs of popular cartoon characters that you can win as prizes for smashing beer bottles with a softball crack me up. (Why are all the rides 3 tickets or more? Shouldn't the base price be one ticket, then more for better rides? It's like starting your fry sizes at Medium at McDonalds.) I dig the atmosphere, I dig the music, I dig the blatant ripoffs that you get sucked into, like paying a buck to see the "freak show" that turns out to be a bunch of stuff in jars of formaldehyde. The only living freak was the cow with 2 noses, which we really didn't feel all that comfortable gawking at because some kid who belonged to the cow on some level sat right next to us, silently challenging us to say something terrible about her cow. The best thing about the fair was finding a booth that sold the Mexican fruit drinks that I loooooooove - go there and get the crushed up watermelon one. I swear it's like drinking the fruit.

Came home for a little while to rest, then went on a quest for Sick and Pave saladbar, which ended with getting Wendy's salad instead. Rented "Die Another Day", which was fun and eye-opening. It seems that I am completely lame sometimes at picking up on plotlines. How can I be such a good spy if I miss things as obvious as plotlines? My brain must be too occupied with spy things, I guess.

So it was a good fourth.

Went to cheezyass aerobics this morning and decided if I ever get as enthusiastic about that class as some of the cheerleadery types that go I want every one of you that read this to find me and shoot me in the face. Thanks for your support.

Went to crappleton to get some supplies for Jen's bathing suit and a gift for a wedding shower I'm going to on Friday night. Jen made a very good point as I giggled over whether or not my gift is lame - if you put "slightly pricey (for a toothpick dispenser) toothpick dispenser" on your gift registry, the silliness starts with you. Came back to me swinging sewing pad and spent a good portion of the day sewing a cool as hell bathing suit with Jen.

Then remembered too late that aw crap, should've used a stretchy stitch on the legholes.

Which is a very important lesson. Thank god she's got more fabric. Here's to better luck next try.

behold chief oshkosh in all his glory!!!!

also, you should watch channel 2, which i think is showing this morning's parade over and over. very early on, about 15 minutes into the parade, watch for some shots of political types shaking hands with parade-goers. then watch for me in my bright yellow oshkosh shirt making an ass of myself in the background.

that's right, i've now been on tv like 4 times, maybe more, between here and california. superstardom is right around the corner, i can feel it.


but screw superstardom if i win the lottery tomorrow; i'll be too busy buying a solid gold house.

I'm at work again, waiting for my final work on the super-top-secret-jen-and-steph-sawdust-days shirt to print out for my own final approvals. Then to the mart of wal for the purchasing of a shirt, then to sleep so I can get rested up enough to sweet talk r&d into heat sealing for us tomorrow.

So that's it, no more for you tonight except for this: if you're ever having a bad day for any reason, the Suburban Legends cover of The Gummi Bears theme song will cheer you right the fuck up. No lie. See for yourself. And then go catch them playing at Downtown Disney in Anaheim; I think they're signed up to play 50 million shows there over the next 300 years.

I have one word for the 12 hour workday.

And that word is "Blow me where the Pampers is."

I guess it was really only 11 hours if you subtract the hour for lunch... but still. Blow me where the Pampers is.

And I have one very important thing to share before I go watch the Osbournes - b'gosh has a couple of abbreviations they use in various places, and none of them really seems grammatically correct to me. Not to be nitpicky, but OBG isn't right because b'gosh is a contraction - you wouldn't shorten the word don't to DT, right? And OKB isn't right either, because Oshkosh is one word.

What does that leave us?

OB.

That's right, I hereby dub b'gosh the Sanitary Products for Kids company.

when i show up to work at 7:30am, i don't ever get any actual work done. i just screw around on the internet until 8. sometimes 8:30.

i really should know that by now and just stop coming in early.