ploooooooo.

washing the car has got to be one of the most cathartic relaxing things in the world.

except for when the crystallized coke remains on the windshield from the exploding can incident last winter and the grossness on the lower front of the car still won't come off.

by the way, mondo congratulations to my girls Kaye, who finally has left behind the world of temping and Kat, who recently landed a gig working on the next Matrix! you both rock my casbah! i have no idea what that means, but it sounds dirty!

i'm antsy. the end.

I got to play the best game in the world with her again.

Something came up about her new boyfriend, and she's just blabbing on and on and on and on so I interject "hey, I met someone."

Big pause.

"REALLY?!?!?" she asks brightly.

"yeah, but he has a girlfriend." I answer.

"oh," she says disappointedly.

This game cracks me up because she thinks I will be single forever. Sometimes I haven't even met anyone interesting when I tell her that.

And Oshkosh needs a Nickel Nickel arcade. Bad.

This is totally sweet.

If you go to Yahoo's search engine and type "show me something really fucking funny I am bored stiff", my site comes in at Number 2.

It's like winning second prize in a beauty contest or something - where's my ten bucks???

While driving home after looking for looking for my car in the movie theater parking lot for 15-20 minutes (which I had lost AGAIN), I had a thought.

Which Charlie's Angel are you?

I've never seen the old show, so I don't know if there's a better character there for me, and while I definitely do see me-like traits in Drew Barrymore's and Lucy Liu's characters I would have to say hands down I'm a Natalie (Cameron Diaz's character).

Because Natalie's a complete dork.

And she's always laughing when she does something lame.

And she loves to dance, even though she may not be the end all be all best dancer on the planet.

And have I mentioned she's a total dork?

I think the biggest similarity between me and the Natalie character is we both have long flowing blond hair and wear high heels a lot.

I was watching Full Throttle last night and it was just so weird to see myself on the screen. I got the same feeling watching the first one.

But maybe I'm wrong... maybe I'm not quite that giggly?

In other more serious news it's finally happened. My mom couldn't keep her fucking mouth shut and basically told the sibs they could leave if they wanted; my youngest brother is moving to Minnesota on July 18 to live with our ex-dad. My mom knows this won't be permanent because as you may have gathered from this blog my ex-dad sucks ass on a gigantic scale, yet she also made it clear that if he moves, he can't move back.

Now that's supportive parenting.

I worry for my brother, knowing who he's going to live with; the things my ex-dad promises him will not be fulfilled. I worry because ex-dad never really took his meds the way he was supposed to - why would he encourage such behavior in his son? I worry because without either retalin or counseling my brother will have the same problems there as he currently has at home, and ex-dad hasn't been exposed to any of that unpleasantness yet. I'm betting it won't be handled well. It's almost certain that going to live with ex-dad means Justin will meet, hang out with, possibly even end up living with his birth mom who is here in the big wis. Not that getting to know birth mom is wrong; it's that getting to know this particular birth mom is dangerous. The brainwashing will only get worse once he's there.

I don't get a face to face goodbye with my brother. I'll get maybe an email here and there from him unless ex-dad or birth mom decide no more internet because he's in their clutches. I worry that they'll change my brother for the worse. I worry I'll never see him again.

I try not to worry but that just doesn't work.

Bwahahahaa, I just thought I'd mention that soccer-mom type also played The Divinyls' "I Touch Myself" during the stupid situps portion of our show today.

I will never ever get tired of hearing both that and the Dee-lites' "Groove is in the Heart".

Lovely lovely Saturday.

I braved the rain this morning to go work out, and was slightly disappointed when the promise of working out in the dark because the power on the third floor was out or something was broken and the lights came on.

But on the bright side the hippest soccer mom type ever led class, and played such wonderful music as Beck's "sexx laws", Oingo Boingo's "Dead Man's Party", a dancey techno version of Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper", and Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise".

Then things took a turn for the worse when she decided to put on 50 Cent's "It's Your Birthday".

The collective mood in the room brightened when the next two songs were 80s goodness (one was "Voices Carry", and I forget what the other was.)

So that's what music I listened to this morning while working out. Makes for some truly riveting reading, I know.

Finally saw an episode of "What Not to Wear" last night and holy crap I want to be on that show soooooooooo bad.

Lemme just say that again. I wanna be on it soooooooooooooooooooooooo bad.

If I was on the show, I'd totally let them throw out anything they wanted (except for my splendid prom dress and maybe my glow in the dark skull and crossbones man jammies, because seriously, where would I find something like that again?). Then I'd listen very carefully to their advice, and take their $5000 to the nearest TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Ross, Old Navy, Hot Topic, Yonkers, JC Penny, and the like and just go nuts.

It would also be way funny to let them throw all your stuff away, listen to their thoughts, then go buy 500 basic black tshirts from Old Navy.

What happens to the clothes they throw out? Do they goodwill it?

And Will Ferrell, I may not always remember how to spell your name but damn are you cute (and Ween-ish). That goes for you too, Vince Vaughn and Luke Wilson. Oh, and you too, Jeremy Piven. Swoon!

P.S. - Buying a new tire sucks for the pocketbook when you're already poor to begin with.

P.P.S. - the "I Love the 80s" series on VH1 is truly a television masterpiece. I was just reminded that while I've seen about 20 minutes of it and loved it, I've never actually seen Stripes all the way through. That should be remedied one of these days. I love me some Bill Murray.

Sincerely,
steph gogoblatz

Wowwee wow wow! Shiny new blogger interface! So slick!

'Course, nothing looks new on the page you're reading, but trust me. It's very nice.

And now for a safe driving p.s.a:

When there's a bug in your car while you're driving, leave him alone.

It boggles the mind how much abuse my little Chuckles the Happy Weenmobile Clown Car of Doom has endured since moving to Wisconsin. What a trooper.

bwahahahaha, i just remembered my sister's snoop dogg joke:

Q: what's snoop dogg's favorite weather?
A: drizzle, ma nizzle.

and here was pedro or sir ween's (i can't remember whose):

Q: what's his favorite detergent?
A: bleee-atch!

and here was mine:

Q: what's snoop dogg's favorite drink?
A: uh... coke.

comedy is hard.

my go-to guy for answers on all things that have me stumpified does it again with easy-to-follow directions to the safehouse in milwaukee (take that, mapquest!!!):

Take 45 South to 94 East (A left at the Zoo interchange)
Take 94 eastbound to downtown, and exit 1D (Plankinton Ave.)
Go left on Plankinton, drive about four blocks, and turn right on State St.
The Safe House is in the alleyway across from the Pabst Theater... if memory serves, the ally is next to a bar/restaurant called "The Newsroom"

oh, ploploploploplop. i've been so busy. much too busy to be bothered by capital letters tonight. also much too busy to be bothered with pants right now. which is possibly something you could have lived a full and happy life not knowing. but, you know....

so welcome back, here's a run-down of what's been going on since we last heard from our hero (uh, that'd be me.). i'm warning you, this is a long-ass post. and dead men tell no tales.

tuesday: worked. went home. did laundree. wished there was a new episode of 24. barfed when i heard comedy central's decided to keep the man show around with new suckass hosts since the hosts who made the show great have moved on to bigger and better things like the late show that jimmy kimmel's got going now. since the show started (back in january i want to say), i've seen a total of 15 minutes and it's freakin great. but i digress. went to bed early in preparation for much sleep deprivation later in the week.

wednesday: worked. went home, changed, scarfed down a little food so as to avoid the terrible bitchiness that comes over me when i've skipped a meal. called my sister, was on the phone with her waaaaay too long, went to the p, found out leslie had already gone to terrys, got weird looks from people as i booked it down main street. played some volleeballs. got some crazy pictures of blood and ice cream and ate some gutter candy in celebration of the miss wis parade. decided that if i'm not too old or too graduated from school next year i'm totally gonna be in the pageant. went home, cleaned house for a couple of hours, went to bed.

thursday: got up way too freakin early, drove to milwaukee to pick michelle up. drove back to oshkosh, went through the outlet store, bought a couple of things for the neice and nephew. picked up jen for lunch at culvers. drove some business types back inside the restaurant with our hooray-it's-beautiful-outside antics and renditions of the hatchandati laser center jingle while eating al fresco. took jen back to work. went to crappleton mall, where we decided to sew michelle's prom dress instead of buying one. got a couple of supplies at joann's, drove home. introduced michelle to the joy of cheezyass aerobics class. went to the grocery store to buy provisions for dinner friday. made big fat mexi salad while michelle cut out her pattern pieces. sewed a bajillion darts in her dress. went to bed but didn't (couldn't) sleep.

friday: went to work all zombified from the lack of sleep. got out a little late-ish, ran home, threw the lasagna in the oven, ran out to rent ringu, came home and put dinner together. ate with jen and michelle, watched the movie, which was really good and fun but not nearly as scary as the american version. went to the p, made some asscorn and had a couple of drinks. went to the lounge to see adam's band play, rejoiced in mr. roboto, which is one of the best songs ever. went to dennys, had some water. jen and michelle and i went back to my place and watched run lola run, which is one of my favoritest movies ever. let's recap how many countries we celebrated friday night: watched japanese movie, ate mexican salad, ate italian lasagna, jen had some irish guiness at the bar, ate some american popcorn (or asscorn, if you will, and i will every night. sometimes twice), watched german movie. tons of fun for everyone! was in bed around 2:30, 3 or so.

saturday, oh saturday: woke up blissfully late. the day was filled with things which aren't important. let's just skip to prom. many thanks to the putter-onners of said party; it was an insanely good time. and i'd be all for winter formal - if this becomes a regular bi-annual event i vote that acdc's "big balls" be the official song.

my sister's dress turned out freaking hot, partly because it was versayce. i was super happy with how mine turned out, too. i originally had a corset i had made to go with my big fat poufy skirt, and i had problems for a good long while deciding on whether to go with it or my sweetass new yum pop shirt. finally the outside temperature and jen's encouragement won out and the corset was put away for another day. (like, say, the miss oshkosh pageant next year.) had some slumber partyish type fun with my sister doing nails and such, then met jen and her mystery men for dinner. my lifelong dreams (i'm being serious here) of going to taco bell in a prom dress were finally realized. then on to sick and pave's wonderful alcohol dept. for... um.... dessert, and back to jen's for some pre-party partying on the fire escape which was followed by prom pictures.

that entire night was quite possibly the most fun i've ever had in one night. pedro and sir ween (both very fitting names, thanks to jen) were the best prom dates in the world. guys like that give me lots of hope that i'll one day end up with someone who can not only keep up with me but who has a ball in the process. we all danced like the insane crazy bastards we are for a huge part of the night, and hit the wall around midnight or so, getting very sleepy. walked over to oblios for a beer before calling it a night, and holy crap here comes the second wind. so we ended up at perkins, eating various forms of late night snackage before we all went and crashed on jen's floor.

and i thought we were being pretty quiet about it, but apparently pedro heard me and my sister wake up a couple of times early sunday morning, start laughing our asses off about something, and fall back to sleep.

sunday: left jen and the menfolk to go home and clean up for more slinger fun. if i write any more about that you'll fall asleep at your computer, and no one wants that. it leaves nasty keyboard marks in your cheek. or your ass, depending on how you sleep/use your computer. came home early afternoon and just chilled on the couch. in my slightly hungover state i hung up on my friend chris when he called, because i was all surly and tired and shit. later me and michelle ate some hot dogs, went to the nest, and then came back home when michelle started feeling sick. watched catch me if you can. which, i say, should be required veiwing for everyone. do you concur? cuz i concur. in fact, i'm in complete concurrence.

monday: plop on work. especially work on monday. went to medieval times - i mean friar tucks - for lunch, and the food was good (except for jens lets-just-slather-some-cheese-on-this-fake-crab disaster) but the wait for said food and then the bill was wayyyyy too long. so we were back at work a little late for our meeting, which was fine since bosslady is never on time anyways. got a ton of changes on art that should have been done and sent like a month ago. but oh well, what the hell, right? it's what i get paid to do, and it's really not all that bad. after work michelle and i got some dinner and then decided to go bowling. because i'd already been to the oshkosh lanes i told her i'd take her to the lanes on main street. closed. so we went to the tio lanes on oregon. closed. on to the place near bowen. closed. so we ended up at the oshkosh lanes anyways. towards the end of the second game we started playing fate bowling - it goes like this. you say something like this to other person before they take their turn: "if you don't get a strike or a spare on this frame, you're going to lose your job." it's tons of laughs. especially when the one you screw up on is "if you miss that last pin you're never gonna get any ever again." after bowling we went to target and got a copy of boggle, which is one of our all time favorite games to play together. she must have been practicing, because i usually kick her ass, but this time our scores were very close.

tuesday (that'd be today): got to work way early because of the need to leave to take me sistah to the port of air. the art changes went really well, and i swear to god every day there's more about prom to discuss with jen. that's how you know it was a good party, right? anyways, skipped lunch, which sucked, but left at 1:30, which ruled. picked up pictures at walgreens and hot damn there's some funny prom shit i'm gonna be carrying around in my purse for the next couple of days. then michelle and i drove down to milwaukee, where we attempted to go to the safe house - but curses to the mapquest, it's directions were wrong and we didn't have a map of the city handy and were low on time. so we drove around looking for somewhere else to eat, ending up at a denny's we found near gen. mitchell airport. food was really really good by that point. got michelle to the airport okay, then came home and watched the wonder that is felicity before driving up to crappleton with jen to pull the wool over american eagles' eyes. i got some happy new clips for me hair, hooray!

see? i really was busy.

and now i'm home, i had some ice cream, and i'm all relaxed and chillin' like a villian or bob dylan or something like that. speaking of, i'm gonna get back to that. stay tuned for some crazy fun prom pics on my blog in the next couple of days.

dude, i totally said i was writing TONIGHT. what the hell are you doing here now? go away.

it's now been a full week since a new post.

but i'm not writing anything new til tomorrow night. i'm sure you'll get over it.

p-o-o-s-o-o-p! poo! soop!

Danielle, you have to send me a description of how you do your hair when you go to concerts. (email, no bloggie please) If you don’t I’ll fucking kill you. Or just beat you up. Or just call you and tell you what a jerk you are. Or I’ll sit on my ass on the couch and think about sticking my tongue out at you. Or I'll just roll over and go back to sleep.

I’m sure this is probably true for everyone (or I’m completely dumb), but there are some words that no matter how many times I use them MS Word always has to remind me how to spell them. These words include weird, tongue, and guarantee.

I made a pair of workout pants tonight that are full of mistakes because I was running a renegade sewing test to see how fast I could make them without using a pattern at all… but they do fit this time. And I forgot to time myself, so that was a big fat stupid… thing...

Seems I’m all out of the funny tonight. What a shame. (some would argue I was never in possession of the funny in the first place. To those people I say suck it.)

Before I go, though, let me suggest that Fox changes their new “Anything for Love” series title to “Please Help Me Destroy My Relationship and Make Me Look Like a Pathetic Obsessive Bastard on National Television”.

The best was the chick whose relationship ended 2 years ago, she never let go, heard he was gonna marry the girl he’d been living with for at least a year or more. She rents one of those advertisement trucks, and the billboard’s got a huge cheezy picture of her face on it and the message “Tom, marry me… not her!” They bring the guy out of his office to see this billboard and listen to the chick tell him how she wants to try again and blah blah blah, and then he totally disses her. The worst/best part was that because of the truck and her ever-increasing volume while she talked this crowd of strangers had formed around them. So the guy had to tell her dude, you’re nuts, in front of a ton of people. Bwahahaha.

Anyways, that’s it for me. Screw doing the dishes, I’m going to bed.

i just want to say this after tonight's activities:

it's very interesting that after 5 drinks you can forget that dvds can't be rewinded.

i'm possibly sort of drunk. the end. 4 days and 4 minutes until me sister gets here.

she loves me so much she got me a new derogatory autograph - this one is 2 of the laker girls, one of whom was kind enough to write "steph you suck".

my siblings are the coolestest in teh world.

i am stil quite tipsyish. night, mofos.

bwahahahhahaa, turns out the metallica cd actually works fine. it came with a bonus dvd and of course that's the disc i kept trying to listen to in my car.

i am a dork. the end.

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work." - Stephen King

My sister Michelle found that today.

In other news, here's a small list of things that annoyed me today:

-I keep forgetting to photocopy all necessary documents to send to California to prove that yes, my car is indeed registered in Wisconsin so no you can't have my 70-something dollars to renew my California registration. The deadline's getting a little close.

-I haven't quite gotten my gym reimbursement from work yet. RRR.

- Speaking of the Y, I'm not the queen of cheezyass aerobics, but when you teach a class you should be able to do it full out, not half-assed like the chick who led tonight. I could've gotten a better workout sitting at home watching Felicity reruns. Which I did after aerobics. Felicity, you're so wacky.

-I gots me the new metallica cd tonight while picking up toiletry odds and ends at Target tonight, and for some reason or other it doesn't work. So tomorrow at lunch I get to go back to Target to exchange it. Suck. I really wanted to hear it tonight. RRR.

In funnier news, I ran into Bosslady at Target, then ran into one of the cadroom chicks while driving home. I didn't really run into her... she was in the car next to me. And there was more cheap Yum Popness to be had at Target, which was cool. And I don't know if I've mentioned this, but in 9 days my best buddy's coming out for a visit.

That's it, my superior brain needs to sleep. Later, mofos!

To all of my friends in the entire world:

If you loved me you’d do it.

If you really loved me you’d wait.

And if you really, really loved me, you’d buy me this and this.

Thanks.

Did I mention my birthday's in a month and a half?

In other news, here’s a smallish list of crazy shit I saw in the couple of hours I was out and about in Oshkosh/Crappleton for a couple of hours after work today (oscar for longest weirdest sentence goes to me):

- a crotch-rocket motorcycle that appeared to be upholstered in long, shaggy neon green fur
- a 9 year old kid with a mullet-mohawk. (I swear if you’d said mullet-mohawk to me about a year ago I’d have busted up laughing because obviously you made it up.)
- Oshkosh’s one-and-only Intimate Café has shut down. Where, oh where, will the kiddies get together to download porn now? I say probably the library.

There was something else for the list, I swear… what the hell was it?

Probably wasn’t all that important.

My closet curtain thingie’s finally finished, thanks to a really nice old guy that helped me out at the Home Depot. Nice old helpful guys are nice. And old. And helpful. And, surprisingly enough, sometimes they're guys. So there. Now I just need some white paint to take care of the ton of nicks I put in the wall when I put the pipe up. Bwahahahaha, now I’m a home-improvement pro. Ho, ho, ho.

None of this writing really feels very unified right now, and that’s okay. I’m preoccupied by all of the following things:

1) 10 days til my sister gets here for 5 days of crazy fun
2) private matters we’re not discussing here
3) jamie kennedy’s on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn next. Which, once I gave it a second chance, turned out to be a really okay show.

So that’s it – let’s all go watch some Jamie. He is on my list, after all.

The update on that is I now have 50 links. You’ll see a final list someday, I swear.

Now I’m really out.

p.s. – I wish I’d gotten home in time for that IQ show on Fox tonight – I missed the first 15 questions or so, but I know I would’ve torn it up. Maybe they’ll have a version on the website I can try.

I’m really going to watch tv now.

Ooo!!! Something else!!! Tomorrow night I may stop by Target to pick up the new metal licker cd! Wheeeeee!

Okay, I’m gone. Later gators. Buy me the above stuff and I’ll love you forever. Or until I get tired of ya.

p.s. - hey Danielle, I almost bought the new metal licker cd at target yesterday but then i didn't because i haven't heard a damn thing off of it yet - i'm assuming it's a safe bet that it's splendid and that i'd be okay to buy without having heard any of it. is this a correct assumption?

So in the midst of all the Home Depotness and Yum Poppery that was my day yesterday, I stopped in at the Regal Theater in Crappleton to see The Italian Job. And I know the last movie you saw in the theater was Orange County, Danielle, and I also know that probably won’t change anytime soon, which sucks, because The Italian Job was a whole lotta fun. Except for the part where I downed a 20 oz bottle of water while waiting for the movie to start, forgetting about the whole thimble-bladder thing that I’ve got going. And I’m one of those people that would rather sit in agony waiting for the movie to end instead of getting up mid-movie to pee and missing good stuff.

So the credits start rolling, which usually in this situation equals me jumping up and literally sprinting to the bathroom. What sucks is that can’t happen when the movie you’re watching is doing a “what happened after the heist” type thing during the credits. So I kept waiting, waiting, waiting. I finally got to the bathroom at the same time as this little girl, who actually was in there first, so I point out the last open stall and tell her she can use it since she got there before me. Maybe she saw the extreme emergency I was in, maybe not, but she was nice enough to let me go first.

My point? I love Seth Green. And so should you. It was a really fun movie, and I drove like an ass (more so than normal) all the way home.

p.s. – I knew the Edwards chain was up for sale, but when did Regal Theaters buy out both the Edwards and UA movie theater chains? It totally threw me when I saw all the logos together on the screen yesterday. Because all of a sudden they’re all in bed together in one big movie-theater-company-orgy. Ew.

In other news, I’m bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. Plop.

More later, but let me share just 2 things before i sit down to pay my bills, go out and get some groceries, and do various other tedius saturday chores:

1) A guy I used to work with was extremely into astrology, and told me that because I'm leo/cancer cusp I probably have a tendency to get very sentimental and attached to some small, insignificant objects in my life. Not always true. But sometimes, yes. Exhibit A and B are my 3.5-year-old Vans and my cheese toast watch. Both have now been officially replaced. I'm wearing my snazzy new Delia's watch that finally came in the mail yesterday and my new black and gray Vans purchased at an actual Vans store in Chicago yesterday. (you can get Vans in Oshkosh, but only if you're a fan of white tennies. Which I'm not.) And they feel foreign. Not all broken in and comfortable, but new and stiff. That'll change in time, I know, and I really do love the new stuff, but right at this particular moment I really want to go put my old sneakers on again and find a new watchband for the cheese toast.

2) I'm lame.

3) If anyone's interested, I have to make another trip down to Chicago in about a month, month and a half. I found a snappy entertainment center at Ikea yesterday that is so much more fun than the one I inherited from Chris. I was all set to buy it when we found out they were sold out, it was an in-store item only, and they wouldn't get any more in for at least 4 weeks. So dammit. No new furniture for me.

4) Speaking of you, Chris, if you haven't found someone to go to Roscoes Chicken and Waffles with yet I'll come back there and kill you myself.

Now I'm out - but first, let's take a look at my overall mood yesterday:

sleepy. that's what you get when you get up too early.

kat, in all her infinite wisdom, wrote and schooled me on the proper terminology for sewing get-togethers where you sew and snack on snacks and shoot the shit. and the word is "stitch-and-bitch." that has got to be one of the coolest words i've ever heard. so if you're interested in getting together for a stitch-and-bitch anytime soon, lemme know.

and i was a big winner in an office drawing today; you're reading the blog of a mulletfest-season-pass-holder. three dog night, here i come!!!

no work for the jen and i tomorrow, our much-anticipated chickago trip is finally taking place. thank god. this, unfortunately, means i most likely will be missing out on friday night festivities in favor of dinner on b'gosh in the midst of research.

i hope our research turns up some red vans kakki shoes in a size 8.5, because there's a vans store down there. i hope, i hope, i hope.

now leeme alone, i'm going to bed. catch ya on the flip side.

wasn't there a cartoon called the flip side when we were in grade school?

I woke up at quarter to six this morning.

It wasn’t the sleepy kind of waking up that usually happens with the alarm clock. It was the all of a sudden fully awake why go back to sleep kind. So I figured I’d get up and do the stuff that I normally can’t do before leaving for work. Like actually making a hot breakfast of eggs over easy slathered in Tabasco sauce and ketchup, toast with blessed blessed strawberry jelly, and juice. Normal breakfast, because as my sisters know all too well if I skip any meals I quickly go from happy-go-lucky-laid-back-steph to BIG FAT RAGING BITCHSTEPH, is instant oatmeal, toast, juice. Then I’ll take a shower where I’ll actually have time to shave (yeah, you probably didn’t need to know that but just in case you did… one of the lovely things about being single is not having to worry every day who’s going to see your legs. Very nice when you’re a girl-on-the-go.). And I have time to write in the bloggy blog.

Which I really don’t have to do, I guess, because I write in the real journal that no one reads when the alarm goes off every morning so technically I’ve done all necessary writing for the morning.

But I had a thought, girls with sewing machines and even girls without: one of the cool things me and my sister used to do when we lived in the same apartment complex was one of us (usually me, because michelle doesn’t have a case for her machine) would lug her machine over to the other’s place and we’d just sew and eat snacks and shoot the shit for a few hours. I think if anyone’s interested we should start this sewing circle thing up because it’s pretty fuckin’ fun. Jen and I are getting together to sew a hot retro bathing suit this weekend – if you’re into going to JoAnn/Hancock with us and then sewing, or even just the JoAnn/Hancock part of the festivities, you should let me know stat.

Also sister-related – Michelle gets into town on the 19th. We were talking about having a Ringu get-together, to eat dinner and watch the Japanese version of The Ring (which is supposed to be scarier than the US remake). I’m thinkin’ that Friday I’m gonna have you peeps over for dinner and a scary movie. Keep your calendars open. Or, if you hate me, schedule a sock-drawer rearranging or hair washing.

It was funny talking to my mom last night, because when she talks about her love life the conversation almost always turns over to my apparent lack of one. Something just kind of snapped this time, and I just started yelling into the phone all the reasons I’m planning on flying solo until I move back to So Cal. I don’t need a boyfriend to make my life happy because I’m happy to begin with. And I think she finally gets all of the reasons I gave her as to why it ain’t gonna happen.

I think my mom sees me as the perpetually single one who won’t ever get hitched.

The funny thing is me and one of my girlfriends made a if-we’re-not-married-by-the-time-we’re-forty-we’ll-marry-each-other pact a year or so ago. Wait, that’s not the funny part. The funny part is I can’t for the life of me remember who I said I’d marry. Guess I’ll find out if I’m still single on my fortieth, right?

And lookat that - it's time for me to start thinking about getting ready for work. Time's fun when you're having flies.

Two things before I go to bed:

1) it's almost only 15 days til my sister gets here. Let me assure you madcap mayhem will result.

2) I really should be in bed by now.

3) There has got to be an easier, less-messy way to eat a mango than the way I tried to eat one tonight. I love mangoes but just can't seem to get the consumption of one right.

4) The prom dress is almost done. Thank god. I'm tired of working on it. Not that it's been hard, or even all that time consuming... just that my attention span's a little too short for something like that and I'm glad I can start thinking of other things, like the crazy-ass tshirt design for a cool California boy who promises me good lovin' in exchange.

5) Jen - when we go pick up your car can we go to Starbucks again?

6) Please?

7) I saw the most insane, hilarious thing tonight at crazyass aerobics - pyschobutt teacher guy's dumbass bike shorts actually had Betty-Page style seams running down each ass cheek. It was really weird. And funny.

8) I'm just finishing up typing and that damn Crank Yankers show's on - and while it bugs that no one agrees with me that The Man Show's good all the time, I have to agree that this kroq-people-show sucks royal ass. Adam Corolla, what were you thinking?

Enough of this, I'm going to bed. Later, mofos.

So way back in January, around the 26th or so, I sent out this e-mail to the staff at the local Fox station:

Hi,

I watch Good Day Wisconsin every day while getting ready for work, and your Weather Whys has never touched on the one thing that has always fascinated me. Could you please explain the phenomenon of raining men, and predict when this will happen next? Thanks!

steph lehman
Oshkosh, WI

I totally sent it to be an ass, and of course they never answered my question on the air.

Until today.

That's right, today's Weather Why came "from Steph in Oshkosh"(which was me!), and thoroughly explained how it really could rain men if the circumstances were right. It was freakin' hilarious and I caught it all on tape, which I will subject you all to at the Robin's Nest on Sunday.

Being a big tv star has a strange way of making you feel much better about everything.

"Way Down the Line" by The Offspring

Nothing changes cause it's all the same
the world you get's the one you give away
It all just happens again
Way down the line

There is a chain that's never broken
You know the story it's sad but true
An angry man gets drunk and beats his kids
The same old way his drunken father did
What comes around well it goes around

Nothing changes cause it's all the same
The world you get's the one you give away
It all just happens again
Way down the line

At 17 Shannon is pregnant
As young as her mom when she had her
Her kid is never gonna have a dad
The same old way that Shannon never had
What comes around well it goes around

Nothing changes cause it's all the same
The world you get's the one you give away
It all just happens again
Way down the line

And all the things you learn when you're a kid
You'll fuck up just like your parents did
It all just happens again
Way down the line

And welfare moms have kids on welfare
And fat parents they have fat kids too
You know it's never gonna end
The same old cycle's gonna start again
What comes around well it goes around

************************************************

Maybe I'll be in better spirits tomorrow. Now for the healing powers of ice cream.

alas, the love affair between our hero (uh, that's me) and the sweetest shoes on the planet was cut short when the customer service chick on the vans website told her they were a limited-time only type shoe that had already been discontinued.

if any of you out there find yourselves at a vans store (apparently there's not quite enough of a skating community anywhere in wisconsin to create a need for a vans store) where they still have some in stock i'm desperately in love with the red ones and i wear an 8.5 in that brand. the website i linked to has light blue, but they're nowhere near as cool so i'm not spending my monies on 'em. suck it.

oh, steve-o, you're so wacky.