To all of my friends in the entire world:

If you loved me you’d do it.

If you really loved me you’d wait.

And if you really, really loved me, you’d buy me this and this.

Thanks.

Did I mention my birthday's in a month and a half?

In other news, here’s a smallish list of crazy shit I saw in the couple of hours I was out and about in Oshkosh/Crappleton for a couple of hours after work today (oscar for longest weirdest sentence goes to me):

- a crotch-rocket motorcycle that appeared to be upholstered in long, shaggy neon green fur
- a 9 year old kid with a mullet-mohawk. (I swear if you’d said mullet-mohawk to me about a year ago I’d have busted up laughing because obviously you made it up.)
- Oshkosh’s one-and-only Intimate Café has shut down. Where, oh where, will the kiddies get together to download porn now? I say probably the library.

There was something else for the list, I swear… what the hell was it?

Probably wasn’t all that important.

My closet curtain thingie’s finally finished, thanks to a really nice old guy that helped me out at the Home Depot. Nice old helpful guys are nice. And old. And helpful. And, surprisingly enough, sometimes they're guys. So there. Now I just need some white paint to take care of the ton of nicks I put in the wall when I put the pipe up. Bwahahahaha, now I’m a home-improvement pro. Ho, ho, ho.

None of this writing really feels very unified right now, and that’s okay. I’m preoccupied by all of the following things:

1) 10 days til my sister gets here for 5 days of crazy fun
2) private matters we’re not discussing here
3) jamie kennedy’s on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn next. Which, once I gave it a second chance, turned out to be a really okay show.

So that’s it – let’s all go watch some Jamie. He is on my list, after all.

The update on that is I now have 50 links. You’ll see a final list someday, I swear.

Now I’m really out.

p.s. – I wish I’d gotten home in time for that IQ show on Fox tonight – I missed the first 15 questions or so, but I know I would’ve torn it up. Maybe they’ll have a version on the website I can try.

I’m really going to watch tv now.

Ooo!!! Something else!!! Tomorrow night I may stop by Target to pick up the new metal licker cd! Wheeeeee!

Okay, I’m gone. Later gators. Buy me the above stuff and I’ll love you forever. Or until I get tired of ya.