you all missed a wonderful episode of "Work, Damn You, Work" tonight. here's a portion of the transcription of tonight's show:

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int., night. steph sprawls on shitty office chair in front of shitty old desk with shitty old computer on it. steph turns computer on.

(five minutes later: computer is finally on, earthlink connected, systems are supposedly a go.)

steph: come on, you slow-ass bastard, what's your problem?!!?!

pentium1 with issues: shhhhhhhhh, i'm sleeping.

steph: (loudly)*SIGH* (takes out nail file and starts filing) how freaking long does it have to take you to load the freaking hotmail home page?!?! (continues filing nail. nail is already too short. steph starts filing away at skin, humming to herself. blood gushes.)

(two minutes later: bottom of the screen switches from saying "loading hotmail.com" to "loading msn error no page found blah blah blah")

pentium1 with issues: (quietly, to self) heh heh heh, take that bitch. (rolls over, goes back to sleep)

steph: FUCK!!!!!

(steph restarts computer, starts earthlink, reconnects to internet. five hours later, bottom of screen switches from saying "loading hotmail.com" to "you dumbasses never learn i'm gonna load msn error saying your site's gone you jerko")

steph: dude, what the shit is this?!!? come on!!

pentium1 with issues: I TOLD YOU I WAS SLEEPING! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

(steph restarts computer, starts earthlink, reconnects to internet....)
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and so on and so on. i turned the shit off finally in exasperation and went to watch tv for a while. 2 hours later i came back and everythings fine. or as good as can be expected considering the problems with this machine.

why can't at least one of the computers i work on on a daily basis do what it's supposed to?