The best thing about going to slasher flicks is being the only one in the theater laughing my ass off. They're just so much damn fun. Watching Jason and Freddy go at it was sorta like watching a live action Itchy and Scratchy - since there's not much that can stop them the shit they do to each other just keeps getting worse and worse. They totally could've cut all of the story and the scared kids out and just shown Freddy/Jason fight footage for like 20-30 minutes and I'd have paid the same ticket price, it was that funny.

While at the theater, I saw a preview for the next Texas Chainsaw Massacre and ick. While I love, love, love watching cheezy slasher movies (my favoritest ever being Silent Night, Deadly Night) for some reason I just can't stomach the TCM movies. I've seen maybe the first 15-20 minutes of each one. Had to stop. Just too ick.

And how old is that jerk Jason Mraz, and why the hell does he deserve to be on I Love the 70s? What a tool.

Michael Ian Black, however, is quite lovely. And on the list. The funny thing is he's on the list because I was in love with him back in the day of Viva Variety, when he was Johnny the Homicidal.. no wait - he was Johnny Blue Jeans. When I was putting together the final list I couldn't think of anything more recent that he'd worked on. ANYWAYS, (and this is related, I swear) Jen and I were instant messaging during I Love the 70s a couple of weeks ago and I asked her who that cute guy was that was so funny talking about things like Big Wheels and Pong, and she's like hold on, and when they showed him again (I kept missing the name at the bottom of the screen) she's all "oh, it's Michael Ian Black". So I'm still in love with him. We got a groovy kind of love.

It's been a pretty sweetass weekend so far - after yesterday's paint-a-thon (both my brother brandon and my sister danielle said all the living room needs now is some speed holes. I told them that was what the panic room was for. I'm thinking about joining the underground living-room racing circuit. anyone know where I can sign up for something like that?) and the lack of sleep last night my body just totally shut down and refused to do anything worthwhile. Got up early cuz I couldn't sleep, probably spent a bazillion hours on the phone upsetting my mom and then chatting with sibs.. I finally got dressed around 12:30 or so and went to make out with Puddin' for a while. Then she took a chunk of skin off one of my fingers and I decided it was time to go. Went grocery shopping (where I pissed off some fellow shoppers by chatting on the phone with Chris while pushing a cart), came home, talked with the sibs some more, found out 28 Days Later isn't showing anywhere in the area anymore so I went to F vs J instead.

Now I'm home, I just took out my horror movie enthusiasm on a helpless green pepper while weilding a huge kitchen knife and wearing a hockey mask... so yeah. Things are good. Let's hear it for dance fever, baby!

Oh yeah... and I'm sick of wasps trying to get in my car - it freaks my shit out bad when they do that while I'm driving.

i totally didn't get enough sleep last night. if i ever find out who the jerks were that thought it'd be fine to work on moving in at 330 this morning i'm gonna kill. and then i woke up super early to pick tape off the walls.

add a racing stripe to your living room - it'll make it go faster.

This just in: new Offspring cd on November 11. Which is only 74 days away.

You may now wet your pants in glee.

After who knows how many days, the MSN Messenger issue has been rooted out.

I have been shunned. Bill Gates told me the following in a very nice error message:

(i sorta quote here)

"Come back and upgrade to Messenger 6.0 when you get a real computer. You stoopid poor people, thinking you can just go where you want on the internet and download anything you damn well please and expect it to work. BAH! I own you!!! Don't try again until you can scrap together enough dough for a new system, or at least one that can handle Windows 98. Of course, by that time I'll have sanctioned the release of Messenger 7,000 and you'll have to be able to run Win3K. Anyways, I'm a busy man, what with my commissioning the repainting of the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel with my head in God's place, so until you pay off your bills and buy a new machine or jack the nice one from your friend Jen's place while she's away, please feel free to download the last version of MSN Messenger that accepted Windows 95 as an OS. Now get the hell out of here."

Bill Gates is a jerk and I hate my computer.

You know, I'll be the first to say that I am the proud owner of a highly active imagination. When I wrote that post a couple of days ago, I hadn't yet seen an actual picture of that 10 commandments monument. I was picturing these huge stone tablets, like 8-10 feet tall or something like that. Apparently that is not the case.

Okay, so the equation is this:

(It's-too-early-to-be-up delerium x 2) + jewelers mutual sign + oingo boingo's anthology playing in the backround = really fun drive to appleton this morning.

And since I don't do so well with the choppy sleep, then get up and do stuff, then go back to sleep for a little while, then get up and transport the wb from the tire store to work I'm just staying up, and eating eggs and toast for breakfast instead of instant oatmeal. I'll actually have time to shave in the shower this morning. Why is this important to you, the reader? Admit it, you're interested in updates about my legs.

ahahahaha, and on cnn they're talking about krispy kremes, and how some people somewhere have been waiting on the sidewalk for 13 days for this fucking store to open. I can understand being such a huge fan of a movie series or a band and waiting forever to buy tickets... maybe they're confused. someone should tell them they're waiting for donuts.

one of these days i'll make up my mind about whether or not I'm going to be consistent about my capitalization on here. or not.

Okay everyone can rest easy, I know the real reason there's such a brouhaha in the south over the Ten Commandment monument. It makes sense, really.

What the hell are you gonna do with 2 huge stone tablets once the Supreme Court tells you you can't keep them in the lobby of your courthouse anymore? It's not really the type of thing you just throw in your garage to collect dust. Unless you're a heathen bastard, of course.

If the whole thing was my problem, I'd stop arguing with everyone and just do something else with the monument. 2 things come to mind:

1) Get some table leg sets from Ikea, attach to stone tablets, have people over for fancy Last Supper type dinner party.

2) Lean them up against the house, and invite the neighborhood kids to check out your new medieval Super Slide. (Keep first aid kit handy)

3) Knock out a wall of house, replace with custom-engraved rock.

4) Sell house. Lean the two tablets up against each other all house-of-cards like and move into that. God would've wanted it that way.

5) In the middle of the night, leave the tablets in random places around town until a court orders to have them removed. Suggested places to leave them include a pumpkin patch, the cereal isle of local grocery store, or in front of favorite church.

6) Open a freak show, and print up posters touting the wondergirl who sleeps on a bed of rock. When someone stops by to say that's not so great, tell him it's engraved rock. Watch his face fill with wonderment. Charge extra admission.

7) Put humongous stone tablets up for sale in the Pennysaver. Use proceeds to buy smaller monument that people won't notice so quickly.

8) Drag 1 engraved tablet into backyard, balance on short end. Put tomatoes, chilies, onions, and cilantro on ground. Tip stone over. Pull stone back up. Enjoy tasty ground-salsa. (Avoid pet dog's high traffic areas, may end up with crappy salsa)

9) Balance on head to further modelling career.

I'd put a number 10, but I really think way too many people have ripped off that gimmick. So you're stuck with just the two alternatives, both of which beat going through a court battle hands down. Both of which may also end up sending me to h-e-double-hockeypuck.

One year ago today, my sister and I piled boxes upon boxes of shit in the trunk of Chuckles the Happy Weenmobile Clown Car of Doom at around 2 in the afternoon and took off on the 5 freeway for 2 and a half days chock full of excitement, laughter, open road, caffiene highs and lows, more laughter, and crazyass driving. Followed by more laughter. Wisconsin or bust, baby.

In honor of our anniversary, I invite you to partake in the hilarity that is our pics of the trip.

And going to the dentist is annoying. I'm not afraid of the dentist and my teeth are in pretty good shape aside from the slight crookedness, but it's annoying all the same. Stop poking me in the gums already, jerkface!!!

Not a whole lot else to tell tonight. Still working on the possible freelance gig, still disenchanted with being so far away from many, many things I enjoy doing and people I enjoy seeing, still coming up with crazy shit to make to keep my mind off it. The latest is a pair of comfy pants for my sister Brittanie. Figured since the pants were kelly green, ironing the word "pesto" on them in sparkly letters would be appropriate. I bet she'll totally dig em. If not, someone else has called dibs so back off.

I can't believe it's almost 11 already. I'm going to bed.

come on now, what kind of state doesn't have a single coinstar machine?

It annoys me to no end when people have to prove just how much they know. Exhibit A: the 40something guy we ran into on the street in Milwaukee yesterday who mistakenly thought we were out looking for hours of inane conversation. (okay, it was more like minutes. but i hate small talk all the same) He gets to the point of asking Jen and I where we're from.

"California," I say.

"Oh yeah? what part?" he says.

"Southern California," I say.

"What part?" he says.

"Orange County," I say.

"What city?" he says.

"Westminster," I say. (Which, for the most part, is true. It's hard to pinpoint exactly where you're from when you live in a place like Orange County - you could live in Westminster but go to school in Huntington Beach and maybe your piano lessons are in Fountain Valley and you really like to hang out at the Super Saver Cinema 7 in Seal Beach, etc., etc. Everything is really close and the borders are sorta mushed together. But I digress. Let's get back to 40something's sparkling conversation.)

"I'm from Buena Park," he says.

He could've just said in the beginning "oh hey, I'm from Buena Park, realizing maybe I'm not big on detailing where he can find my family if he wants to go brutally dismember them. Jen and I ran into him again on our way out of the mall just a couple of minutes later when we found our destination was closed due to a leak.

Aside from that, yesterday was really great. Lots of great finds for work, a couple of awesome finds for us, good food at Noodles and Co. for lunch, awesome navigation on the part of Jen, and later on that day awesome fun at the Safe House.

It was a really funny coincidence, but when Jen got up to use the restroom I pulled my cell phone out of my purse to see if I'd missed any calls because I'm lame like that. Two seconds after I put the phone back in my purse, it rings. Michelle called to tell me she had just been at Mervyns and she was super jazzed because one of the first groups I worked on is in the stores. She told me the cashier didn't believe her when she said her sister worked on the coverall she was buying.

In other news, cross your fingers for me that a business deal Michelle and I are beginning to plan out goes through. It could be super sweet if it does.

I'm off to continue Saturday slacking - go outside and play!!!

you know what i love?

when you download updates for a program and said program progressively gets worse.

a few weeks ago i finally updated my msn messenger. and a bunch of stuff in the interface from that point on turned to those crappy little boxes you see when you're missing a font.

tonight i downloaded the latest update for msn messenger, and not only is my font problem not fixed, but now 30 seconds after i start it up it shuts down.

lovely.

you know what else i fuckin' love? for real? and not in the sarcastic way? finding something like this in my size (sans vest and pins) while on the great print hunt of 2003. and i love taking a friday off of work to go thrifting for work. lovely lovely.

and it's still too fucking hot.

It’s too freaking hot out, seriously. To the point where I started feeling sick on the way in to my house after work-sanctioned shopping this afternoon. So I sat under the ceiling fan in front of the puter drinking cold water, eating celery, and looking for a driver for this p.o.s. digital camera I got from Earthlink like 2-3 years ago for one of the times I signed up with them. No dice – I couldn’t get the driver anywhere, and the maker of said camera has a nice helpful page on their website stating that after Jan. 1 of this year they won’t have drivers or any other kind of support for that camera anymore. Joy joy joy.

I really just wanted to see what the hell these 57 pictures are that the camera says I’ve got saved. I’m betting there’s some from when Michelle was pregnant with Hailey, as well as a multitude of sibling craziness.

There's a tornado watch in Winnebago County until 9pm. So if I’m not at my desk at 8am tomorrow (oh, okay, more like 8:05 or 8:10) it’s because I was destroyed by nature. Tomorrow’s another half-day and then Friday’s a free day for work-sanctioned thrifting. There’s so many good vintagey things to use as inspiration at thrift stores. Plus happy cheap things for me.

There’s a couple of funny things I’ve seen over the chock full of busy last couple of days that beg to be recorded for posterity on the blog. 2 things in particular:

1) looking through the pattern books at JoAnn Fabrics, where they show the pattern when it’s done and give it a descriptive and enticing title to make you want to whip out the ye olde wallet – there was a pattern for swanky fabric wine bags and other gift bags. The title on the page, I swear to god, was “Wrapper’s Paradise.”

2) On the way back to work from lunch yesterday (on Witzel) I passed a group of about 8-10 guys running down the street. They were all wearing the same sort of colored shorts and tennis shoes. And that’s it. And they were each wearing different colored shorts. It looked like some kind of A&F catalog shoot.

3) I know I said I had 2 things and never keep to the 2 things… but I really only had 2. So let’s say… uh… I also saw a chicken towing a car in the national strongman competition. It was great.

I’m off to eat some grub and get ready for the wonderful world of sports – here’s the birthday card I was working on last night. I hope I don’t get sued. If you’re walt disney and you’re looking at this, number one that’s amazing and number two someone at your corporate office asked me to do it so I think it’s okay. The end and number three did you catch that chicken on the strongman competition last night? Oh yeah, Walt, also I don't know if they're dead yet but thank Frank and Ollie for using a pic of white costume mary poppins in Illusion of Life instead of one of her other outfits. (which i guess makes sense since that was the part of the movie with animation...) They saved me trying to find it on the internet on my p.o.s. machine at home. You may now resume being dead. Thanks for listening.

it's late and i trashed my kitchen this evening and i REALLY need to clean that shit up, so this is gonna be short.

but i knew there was a reason i bought that book in college.... it's been very good reference for so many things, like the last minute birthday card i helped my sister with tonight. if you've got a keen interest in the whole classic 2d animation process and how it's done, or really like little insights on the production of animated films, even if you're a not-Disney-animator-type (i'm one of those notdisney types)... it's really really interesting. Maybe just pick it up at the library or something.

that's it, i'm out. later gators!

I'm sorta afraid of going to bed tonight. I always get like that in the back of my head the night after a night where I couldn't sleep at all.

What if I can't sleep at all tonight, either?

What if I can't ever go to sleep again!?!?!

I think about weird things like that sometimes... what if all of a sudden something just ended? Something that you totally took for granted before. What if, all of a sudden without any kind of warning or explanation it was just over? Like sleep?

I thought the same thing about the major power outage last week. What if all of a sudden the power was just gone? What if nothing fixed it? What if the power was just out forever?

It'd be weird. And very Twilight Zone-y.

While I couldn't do ANYTHING at work today I still stayed pretty busy. With busywork. I started revamping my fontlist notebook, and then when I got bored with that work continued on the flier that will soon take the city by storm. More on that later. Or maybe you'll just find it around town on your own? It's entirely possible.

So yahoo! Got outta work early and headed out to the gym. Came home and ate some food while I fixed the bigass pile of fabulous freebies I picked up from the freetable when I left work at 2:30 (I highly recommend that, really I do). What else am I doing tonight? Workin up a budget so someday I won't have so many damned bills. Blarrrrrg.

Anyone else seen Saving Silverman? It's on Comedy Central right now, and it's not so bad.

If I have problems sleeping tonight, I'm gonna pop the Big Lebowski into ye olde dvd player and let it work its magic...

50 bazillion coolness points and one quarter to the first person who can answer me this:

In the Friday the 13th movies, Jason died when he was a kid. How the hell did he become big freaky guy while he was underwater? Seriously. What was the movie series' explanation for this??? I know it's possible for hair and nails to continue growing for a while after death, but AN ENTIRE HUMAN BODY??! That shit is creepy.

If you haven't seen Real Women Have Curves, you should go rent it. Because I said so. It'll make you want to sew pretty dresses while wearing nothing but your undies.

In other news...

My name is Steph, and I'm a patternholic. I've been sewing for 2 years now, and I have more sewing patterns than I could ever actually use. I hate/love when JoAnn Fabrics has a big fat sale, because it just perpetuates the habit with their 99 cent patterns. On the upside, sometimes I do make the thing I bought the pattern for the same day I buy it (like tonight). And at least it isn't crack, that's all I've got to say.

I'm really not paying attention to writing at the moment because trading spaces is on, so I'm out.

The weekend just is not long enough.

The news just keeps getting better, yo. Not only am I going back to Cali in just over a month, but tonight I saw the best fucking sign in the world.

And that sign said, and I quote "Starbucks coming soon."

insert happy sigh here.

Despite my efforts to actually stay awake for the entire duration of The Big Lebowski I still nodded out for just a few minutes. What the hell is it about that movie that lulls me into sleep?!?!!

I'm thinking I'm gonna maybe try again tomorrow morning or something, when there's no chance of falling asleep.

Did I mention there will be no reason to go to Crappleton for Starbucks anymore!?!? Swoon!!!

Sing it with me!!! I've got two tickets to paradise, baby!

Or I had them, anyways. I traded them in for a handful of magic beans and one ticket to the homeland! HOTDAMN!!!

In other news, we here at dehdohdee.blogspot.com pride ourselves in accurate reporting. Let it be known that I did run this quote by the speaker before posting it, and it was approved as accurate. Like any good journalistic entity, the thoughts expressed below may not necesscesscesscessisarily reflect the views of this site.

Today's installment of "You Should Hear Some of the Conversations We Have at Oblios, You Really Should":

"Today on this day, August 15th, Oshkosh smelled more like shit than it ever has. I mean, the stench was strong. Y'all heard me? Packers suck. Sincerely, Jen Norwood. Wrap it up, I'll take it. It's in the can. Ahahahahahahahahaha, stop. Ahahahahahaa, don't forget the clap. Yeah, the clap. AHAHahahahahahaaa."

No wait, I mostly agree with that. Oshkosh smells like poo and I never forget the clap. And while I enjoy hangin' with people to watch sports sometimes, football really ain't my thing.

Philandering Lakers, however... now that's news.

this morning i saw a crap sandwich on tv.

mtv is channel 17.

vh1 is channel 38.

so that's 21 channels stuck in between the jlo video that both channels were playing at the same time. ick.

p.p.s. - i want an online version of boggle. one that you play against others. one that won't make my computer at home barf. one that i could maybe go online and play with michelle. because i miss beating her down all the time.

p.s. - this week's a pay week. you know what that means? you should go out and get yourself a copy of Maryam on dvd, which i just found out is finally available. it was so great seeing this movie when it came out; a bunch of us from work went together, and all you could hear in the theater was cheering when david came on the screen for the first time. it's surreal knowing someone who's on the imdb.

twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours ago, i wanna be sedated.

I am so damn tired tonight. I don't get it. I've been sleeping. What the hell's the dillybar? I mean Dilly Bar? I mean dilly-o?

Sooooo sleeeeeeeepeeeeeeeeee. And it's only 9.

I'm amazed that I actually got off my ass long enough to write that piece i've been putting off for the new alumni mag. I wonder if it'll be anything like the Where are They Now? page, where they take the profile that you give them and completely suck any and all humor out of it so all that's left is a very dry "Steph Lehman lives in blah blah where she's a blah blah at blah blah b'blah." I was so upset that they didn't put one of my job duties was to dance like a monkey on command.

That's it. No more bloggie for you. Time for mindless time wasters like television and celebrity pokemon.

Let's add up the final numbers in Steph's Swingin' Apartment Search:

I don't know how many ads I read in the paper on Sunday... lets say that was 100.

38 of those newspaper ads seemed promising on some level. Add that to the 32 numbers I found either online or on my wanders around town with Jen. So that's 70 apartments.

I narrowed it down some more, and ended up calling 41 of them. 11 were disqualified for not returning my call in a timely manner. Others were disqualified for being too spendy.

Jen and I visited the interiors of 11 apartments over the last 3 days.

I narrowed it down to five.

Then I started thinking about how I could swing the money for the one in particular that would be a great value for me.

And then I decided once and for all that I'm not going to move.

There's more than one reason for the decision - the biggest one being the math doesn't add up. With the costs of moving compounded with the extra month I'd have to pay my current place... once it was all added up it really wouldn't be saving me much at all since I'm short term in the sense I'm only gonna be here a couple more years. So I'm staying put.

Hahahaa, I lie. I'm really not moving because I can't bear the thought of moving somewhere that doesn't have my neice's chalk drawings on the walls.

In other news, things have been on the move again at work. Not surprising - my job has been in a state of flux (capacitor) and transition constantly since I moved here. The latest moves me and others more towards the more technical side of things. On the one hand I'm a little sad that some of the creativity will be taken away, but on the other hand I'm excited to learn new things because that is exactly why I took this job. I want new things, I want transition, because it gives me a broader knowledge base and will hopefully make me more attractive to so cal jobs when I start looking again. Bottom line - I'm not going anywhere.

Except maybe to the bathroom... hold on a sec...

Okay, we're back. Plop plop plop. I'm outta things to say. New blog links to the left, courtesy of the celebrity pokemon site. I always wanna type the word Jeopardy! after celebrity. The number one thing wrong with Oshkosh television is that Jeopardy's on tv while I'm at work. It just doesn't make sense.

welcome to this today's edition of "If You Could Overhear Some of My Conversations with Jen". We now join our heroes as they head to Jen's home to watch the Osbournes for the last half hour of lunch...

"I myself am a big fan of the marijuana suppositories - they combine my love of getting high with my love of sticking things up my butt."

I am destined to forever have the skin of a fourteen year old. This is extremely important for you to know. Otherwise the world would blow up.

Happy birthday to my sister Michelle, who is 28 today. I miss you baby. In the most unnatural of ways, of course.

In honor of her birthday my sister recieved a slew of crazy online greetings from yours truly, my favorite coming from here. That site never ever gets old.

Had dinner on bgosh tonight at fratellos and it was fun and tasty.

You know what else is a great link for you to check out? If Yum Pop, Paul Frank, an 80's video and an original Nintendo video game all got crazy drunk and had a crazy baby, the video for this song by Junior Senior would be it.

So that's all you get tonight because plop, I'm beat.

More details on the extensive apt. hunt as they become available (and I get motivated to tell about it).

so there are many, many apartments to be had in oshkosh.

some, like the one above somewhere in time on main street, are very very crappy.

and some, like the ones i went into on jackson and then sawyer, are just okay.

and then some, like the one on merritt, are cool and cheap but are missing things like a big sink and a garbage disposal. which i've done without before, so i can go without in the name of moving somewhere with fantastic natural lighting in the living room and kitchen...

this is a very different apartment hunting trip than those i've been involved in before. typically my sister and i are very quick about it - we're not real picky people when it comes to apartments, and it's never very long (like a day or two) before we find something we really like. this time i'm forcing myself to go about it just a little bit slower. but only a little bit... i expect i'll know where i want to be within a few days whether that's a new place, like maybe the one on minnesota i drove by tonight, where they're redoing the street which would be a pain in the ass to deal with but is also right next to the lawn ornament queen of the state, or staying where i'm at.

because after work tonight i looked through 2 apartments, went to the gym, looked at 2 more apartments, ate a quick dinner at home and did the dishes, took out the garbage, and then took an impromptu drive over to jackson street where i left my car parked on a side street so i could walk from church up to murdock, collecting rental phone numbers as i went... after all of that i came home. and thought about how much i dig my current apartment.

so i'm deeply immersed in looking around, making lots of calls and taking notes on the few people who are nice enough to call back, visiting places seeing if i can find something for less money, but i'm keeping in mind that i really have to like it, too. no sense going through the work of moving just to save a few bucks if i'm going to seriously dislike where i'm living.

thanks go out to jen, who comes along for uber-valuable second opinions like "yes, this place is ghetto" and witnesses such hilarity as "i have keys to 1942, apt. 8, right? i think i have those keys. 1942, apt. 8. 1942, apt. 8. hmmmm. i think 1942, apt. 8 may be a 2 bedroom, not a 1 bedroom.... but lemme check in the car for those keys. 1942, apt. 8."

thanks also to emily and adam, who stopped to make sure i was okay and wasn't having car troubles when they found me wandering back towards my car during my moonlight 2.5 mile trek on jackson tonight. it was really nice of you, even if i did think you were axe murderers before i recognized who you were.

and now, since me sister michelle is a slacker and isn't calling me back, i'm going to bed.

that's it, the writing's on the wall.

i just checked my checking account balance on usbank's website, and i'm really sick of this having 8 bucks left until payday crap.

which makes it so much better that my lease is up on sept. 30th.

while i'd love to stay here and be on a month to month lease, meaning if things go sour at the job i can pick up and go home, i've got a big fatass list of a bunch of apts in the downtown area that are a hundred bucks less than i'm paying now. plus, if i move there's no way exdad has my address.

now that's what i'm talking about.

p.s. - if you're in cali, you have to go check out my friend wayne everett's band called The Lassie Foundation or i will kick your ass. here are the cali dates and locations:

Friday, August 22 - The Derby - Los Angeles, CA
Saturday, August 23 - Gypsy Lounge - Lake Forest, CA
Monday, August 25 - Club Galia - San Francisco, CA
Tuesday, August 26 - The Capitol Garage - Sacramento, CA

go enjoy or die!

the last time i had five beers in a fairly short sitting i ended up making out with a coworker on a friend's couch in van nuys. but i promised jen i'd blog while i was smashed, so here i am.

luckee yoo.

i tried posteing erlier today,b ut blogger sucks and erased what i did or earthlink disconectted me. i think it was the latter. plop.

today i started my foray into public service. and wore my old crusty devil-girl cosmic debris shirt to habitat, which as it turns out is a sorta religiou8s non-profit. more about this later when i'm a little more coherent.

when you're getting together with a group of friend, it's all about sex and the city reruns. you should rent them. and then you should cut out a picture of reuben's head and put it in a heart shaped frame to add to your cube decor. because everyone loves a pic of reuben that was framed whiel the owner was drunk outta her gourd.

blog blog blog. -lop plop plop.

teh girl at hollywood video didn't understand why i gave her my area code when i gave her my phone number. andshe was more confused when i gave her teh ol' 714 area code instead of the 920.

i'm done rambling. send in the clowns.

okay, so things have been crazy-insane all day at work trying to get paperwork out the door for summer, and all of a sudden i've been commanded to slack off.

can't argue with that.

last night was freaking funny - wednesday night on a whim just before i went to bed i turned on elimidate, which is both the funniest and crappiest dating show ever invented. it's fuckin' hilarious to see how ho-ish and catty people can be on a nationally broadcast show.

and when they announced that they'd be coming to the big wis to find new contestants, guess who went online and got the scoop. come on, guess.

so after work yesterday jen and i drove on down to madison to see what it takes to be a slutty dating game contestant... we stopped in at sir ween's place to see if he wanted to try and be a tv star, too, but nobody home. so we paid a visit to the local urban outfitters instead and then wandered through ragstock contemplating how my chances of getting on the show would probably triple if i bought the vinyl nurse's dress on display.

no, i did not buy it you damn perverts.

so we go to the State St. Bar, or the State Bar, or whatever the place is called, and they have a big sign that says "elimidate people get your asses upstairs!!!" or something like that. and when you go up the stairs, there's a table with some people who work for the show sitting behind it, passing out half-sheets of paper that turn out to be applications you have to fill out.

they asked questions about how to contact me in case they were interested. then they asked about my stats - height, weight, haircolor, and so on and so on. then they ask what my perfect mate would look like and all i could think was uh... a boy would be good. but since that's not very descriptive, i jotted down colin farrell. and then they ask what qualities turn me off and after arrogance and cheating and other standard girly answers i added "no murderers or litterers".

jen got a lot of this process on video, including a group of slutty girls who looked at us with distaste, most likely because our tshirt and jeans attire made us "unsuitable" for such a show in their eyes. i get up and turn in my slip of paper, and ask the lady at the table "so, what's next?" and she informs me that they will hang onto the applications and i'll get a call sometime tomorrow (that being friday, or today) and then i can come down to the fox tv station for an interview. i can stay at the "casting party" or i'm free to go, whatever.

and i'm thinking crap, i drove down here to fill out a slip of paper? that's it?

so jen and i had a beer and took some pictures.

then we went back to sir ween's house to see if he was home yet and hooray, we stumbled onto a kegger! wheeee! so we hung with sir ween (who had filled out the slip of elimidate paper the night before) and his crew and then came home. and now all of a sudden i've got a shitload of work to do, so if you'll excuse me i gotta slap some logos on some shit.

long story short if it'd been a cooler show like dog eat dog or fear factor i'd totally have driven to madison again today for an interview, but in my eyes elimidate's just not worth it. the end.

"Hello Sonya, this is Eric and Carrie - we must've just missed ya. Uh, we are... now heading down highway 43, towards Milwaukee. Uh, we got outta the doctor's office around 1 o'clock, we just stopped by your place and picked up the muffins and stuff. So we will, uh, see ya in a couple days. Give us a call if you want to - I'll leave the cell phone on buh bye."

There's a click as the caller hangs up, then the answering machine helpfully says, "Wednesday, Two Oh Eight p.m."


Funny, I don't remember making muffins.

Oh holy crap Kat, that's fuckin' funny. Some of my choicest googlisms are as follows:

steph lehman: is here and were talking about our *friendship8 problems lol and boys and how they suck lol

steph: is over there
is god
is sweating
is single
is pregnant
is scheduled to begin chemo next monday
is a portable library that provides windows
is on the road thrilling audiences
is the best female wrestler
is a booger
is a strategical genius
is always known for lending peeps a hand when they get in a jam with their computer or with html stuff
is one hot lady
is a transplanted californian (woah!!!)
is a qualified doctor she has taken the last two years off to train for the 2000 olympics
is not for sale
is a funky gal and is livens up your day

the list goes on and on... but i'm not gonna put it all here.

why?

dude, you heard the website. i'm god. bow down.

No, you snooty rich kid with the way too big stoopid pickup, this is not how we do things in the OC.

Yes, there is a Fashion Island. Yes, it's a mall that's pretentious as all get-out. Yes, there are bigass houses like that in Newport Beach. Yes, some people are that wrapped up in image, and clothing labels, and cars, and the city of Chino. But really, that's not everyone and that stuff (except for Chino and Fashion Island, of course) can be had everywhere.

And according to my sister Danielle (who is the go-to girl on things of this nature) the show The OC is not filmed in Orange County.

What was really awesome was the beautiful montage of Southern California shots with Phantom Planet's "California" playing in the background. I haven't cried that much since ET scared the crap out of me when I was 4. It was just really great.

Long story short, it's another over the top drama that yours truly is completely addicted to. Kinda like Felicity reruns or Nip/Tuck.

In other news, I won tickets to a special screening of "Step Into Liquid" for tonight from a radio station. Unfortunately, since that radio station was KROQ and I had no way to get to Los Angeles by 7:30pm, I couldn't go. So I sent out an email to some homies in the area, asking if anyone wanted to go instead. Aaron says sure, sign me up! So I call the promotions department at KROQ, and after the girl answers the phone and assures me that it shouldn't be a problem to transfer the tickets I'm forwarded to some dude's voicemail. I tell him my name, explain that I'm in the big Wis and can't go but my friend really wants to, can he call me back at blah blah blah insert direct line to my desk here. After an hour, I call back. He's there this time, and first gets on my case for not leaving my name and then says the people who answered the phone had no idea what he was talking about. (right about now I'm trying to figure out what group of strangers at my desk answered my phone while I was sitting there) Then he says he can do it this once, but just for future reference the online contests are for residents of the LA area only. Fine, whatever, I'll enter the contests using an LA area zip code from now on (there's a chance I could win some really good concert tickets!)

Then, to top it all off, he says he'll do it this one time (which he already said) because they had extra tickets for that screening.

I'm thinking "what the hell difference does that make, you already gave these tickets to me?!?!"

But whatever. As Aaron later said, he probably didn't enjoy his job much.

It's funny when you talk to high school friends on the phone or in emails, how no time passes at all in between talking.

So I'm back into painting, which rocks the house with it's addictive qualities. I'm so out of practice, but it's really fun getting back to where I used to be. I did a couple of little quick things tonight that aren't really spectacular but I'm gonna give them away anyways because I really don't want to throw them out. So watch your mailbox, maybe you'll be the next winner in the painting lottery! wheeeee!

Gotta go, Nip/Tuck is on and celebrity Pokemon beckons.

you know what, i believe i misspoke last night.

the circumference i think, is 2 times pi times the radius.

but before you go take any triginometry tests you better check me on that. there's a reason i took it twice.

i was gonna put up some sweetass fun ikea pics up tonight, but my computer's decided it hates dreamweaver.

so sucks to be you, you'll have to do without.

note to self - india ink may be waterproof, but it still gets smeary with varnish. that's good to know.

also good to know is there's nothing good on tv on mondays.

also good to know is i'm putting on some socks in just a moment so my feet aren't chilly anymore.

also good to know is that circumference = pi times the radius squared, or something like that.

Aw crap, I've been found out. I tried so hard to hide my alternate universe origins, but I forgot about the telltale casual KISS-liking. Damn that Detroit Rock City. No matter now, I suppose. Prepare for the probing.

This weekend's been full of crazy mad fun of all kinds. Had awesomely tasty dinner with Jen under the watchful and annoying eye of the world's most busybodyish waiter on Friday after an excercise in patience (1 hour wait) at Pinchy's Place. Finally hit my breaking point on the old windshield wipers of my car while driving back to the OK Corral in the pouring rain, so at 10pm on Friday night I was at the Mart of Wal, trying unsuccessfully to buy replacement blades or refills.

The next morning I did get the blades changed out, thanks to Advance Auto Parts or whatever. Took a little longer than most probably would have putting the things on, but as I explained to one guy who was leaving the store I was okay with it since I don't work for Nascar.

On to Chicago! Or the Chicago area, at least. Jen and I went to White Castle in Schaumburg first, and it was everything I would've hoped White Castle would be. Super cheap, super tasty, super cool oldskool posters on the walls. Then we spent a few hours at Woodfield Mall, where we found some truly wonderful stuff at the Sanrio store. After that we hit Ikea for a grand total of 3.5 hours - the entertainment center was there this time, in full force in fact, but I'd fallen out of love with it partly because of it's lack of storage and partly because buying it would mean orange as a permanent fixture in my living room. And I'm really not so sure how I feel about that. Then I saw the side by side lockers Jen's been in love with forever, and I fell hard. But they were out of them, so we're going back in a month. I can't wait. After roaming the store and taking crazyass pictures in some of the rooms, we had super-tasty open faced shrimp sandwiches and carrot cake in the cafeteria. Then back to roaming the store. Then to a particularly happy sample kitchen/dining rooms with a grand view of the freeway, where we proceeded to first pretend we were eating dinner and then moved on to acting like animatronics eating dinner for the viewing pleasure of fellow shoppers.

After Ikea we drove down the street to Marshalls and then TJ Maxx. Then Starbucks, then home.

The great thing about trips to big cities is the feeling of normalcy I get when I can just hang out and shop at cool stores without necessarily buying anything... just messin' around and having fun. Going to Chicago, Madison, Milwaukee, whatever, and seeing all the variety contained within and getting back into big city driving feels a bit like going home. And I fucking love that.

Today's been pretty lax... cleaned the apartment up a bit, went grocery shopping, talked on the phone with the younger sisters for a while. Big news today is I painted. On a canvas. Which hasn't happened since... um.... hmmmmm..... college? I wanna say 4 years ago at least? I should paint more often, it's pretty fun. It started out as a huge strawberry, but slowly transformed into a giant super-happy rabbit's head. I hope my neice likes it. I was kind of inspired to break out the paints while Pleasantville played on TNT. Girl, Interrupted was on after that - I really want to read that book someday.

This concludes our broadcast day. Get outta my face.