Three things you must know:

1) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes go buy some healthy boob stamps. Everyone loves boobs, even (and possibly especially) you. And they’re not even uglee stamps.

2) Peas and carrots are really tasty. Really, really tasty. Did I mention I like them? A lot? Cuz I do. Yum.

3) You know those dreams where you know you’re dreaming, and you can kind of decide what happens next? According to Get a Grip on Dreams (the superdooper interesting book I’m reading right now), you can teach yourself to have them. (which I am working on learning - first I take over some of my dreams, then I move on to bigger and better things, like rearranging the matrix.) Some ways to do this are:

-only go to sleep for 3-4 hours, then stay up for a while and go back to bed for a few more hours

-sleep in the afternoon (cuz it’s not as deep a sleep as nighttime sleep)

-talk to a friend a lot about lucid dreaming (that’s what those kinds of dreams are called), and talk about meeting somewhere specific in a dream. Apparently if you talk enough about it, it’ll be so ingrained in your brain you’ll just dream it.

-this one’s kind of lame, but constantly ask yourself as you go through the day whether or not you’re dreaming, especially when you’re doing things like reading a newspaper or flipping on lights, since those things are really hard to do in dreams. It’s like the talking a lot with a friend about meeting somewhere, it puts the questioning in the spotlight and you’ll start to ask yourself it while you’re dreaming, too. And pow, (penis) you’ll realize you’re dreaming and you can start to change and reshape things, just like Keanu.

4) I can’t remember who Minnie Pearl is, but I feel like I should know that name. There’s mention of her in a Bloodhound Gang song. (One of michelle and I’s favorites, called “A Lap Dance is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying”)

5) Now I have to go find something to wear to happy Donnas goodness tomorrow, hooray! And then I have to get my ass (and possibly the rest of me, too) back on working on the website.

6) Tomorrow, thank god, is payday.

Okay, that was six things. Possibly more, if you count the list on how to teach yourself lucid dreaming. Suck it, I get an A+ for extra credit.