the hearts and laserbeams blog!

recently blogger decided we can't publish my blog to my own website anymore so here we are! pardon the dust, and please visit us online at www.heartsandlaserbeams.com!

hearts and laserbeams is the wacky good-times art and design by me, steph calvert. i team up with robots, cupcakes, and stick people to show people art isn’t all about seriousness, missing ears, and deep thoughts; it can actually be tons of fun.

1.18.2010

behind the artwork: the fruit and nuts series

in light of our recent feature on regretsy, i'd love to share exactly where that strange little fruit and nuts series of paintings came from. step in the way back machine with us, back to 2004!

ah, 2004 - what a good year. i had been laid off from oshkosh bgosh, was homeless on my sister's couch in garden grove for a while, met the future husband... and started getting into art shows.

the very first art show i did was a group show at chango coffee house in echo park. it was a simple piece called "apple takes a stroll". a little 5" x 5" acrylic painting featuring a super happy apple with stick arms and legs walkin through a park.

after the show, my good friend angela bought the painting and made the comment "this is so cute - i really wanna see apple in a knife fight with robert downey, jr!" it was like a burst of comic genius that really got my wheels turning. coincidentally, that same week i had bought a trashy tabloid mag. i was flipping through it, and... well...

i didn't see any good pictures of robert downey, jr. but i DID see a great picture of will ferrell.



that just started an avalanche of wackiness. i flipped through a bunch of tabloid magazines, found some great celeb faces, and collaged them into twelve new paintings featuring that original Apple character along with his friends Orange, Peach, Grapes and more. They were quirky and fun, and within a year every one of the original paintings sold. The most exciting sale came at a Pasedena craft show, where the customer informed me that she worked with courtney cox-arquette on the show dirt, and the next week's filming was going to be directed by david arquette. so she bought the painting as a gift for them!



i ran into that same customer at another craft show a year later - she gave me a great update on my little painting, that the cox-arquette family loved the painting, and that their daughter coco smiled and laughed whenever she saw it. another satisfied customer!



etsy's shown some love for this series, too! they featured the martha piece in a storque post, and also commissioned me to create two new pieces in that stick figurey style to hang outside their conference room doors this past november.

and that's the story! they're a little strange, they're a little nutty, but they're a whole lot of fun and i love em - i hope you do too!

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12.12.2009

hearts and laserbeams on tv! WHAT!!?!?!

as you may or may not know, if you're ever in georgia you can pop into shopScad (in both savannah and atlanta!) and pick up hearts and laserbeams gifties in person.

amy from shopscad shared a video on facebook today of a news bit that was filmed in the atlanta shopscad, and i am alllll over it! how exciting! as you watch it, keep an eye out for our plate designs, glue gun tee, and in the background of one shot you can see our tiny magnet set tins!

click here to watch the video.

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12.09.2009

we feel fine book giveaway!

ok real quick cuz i gots to go make dinner -

the folks at we feel fine were kind enough to bestow on me a second free copy of the "we feel fine: an almanac of human emotion" book so that i might do a giveaway for all the rest of y'alls - and giveaway time is here! my second copy came in the mail today. whut whut!!!

SO! here's the rules:

1) i got in the book after the folks at we feel fine found a lovely blog post i had written featuring my middle finger. so to enter the contest, leave a comment here telling us something middle-finger related. it could be about the time you accidentally flipped off your aunt mildred, it could be about the time you did it on purpose. but in celebration of my middle finger picture, your comment MUST share something about middle fingers! maybe you know of a cool piece of middle finger art on the internets? share it and automatically be entered to win!

2) comment as many times as you wish, but one entry per person will be counted.

3) contest closes at midnight on sunday, december 13, at which point i'll use the website random.org to pick the winner!

the winner gets a free hardbound copy of "we feel fine: an almanac of human emotion", and if you like i'll autograph my middle finger on page 82 for ya!

get commenting people, i can't wait to read your middle finger stories!

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9.10.2009

all kinds of fun news!

i am chock full of art news today!

yesterday i found out that my art school savannah college of art and design was looking for people that went there to contribute paintings for an upcoming project. so i email the gent, and send him to the paintings section of my etsy shop. he wrote back telling me that my flipping bird painting would be perfect and could i get it out to new york by next tuesday?

"flipping the bird"

um, yes please thank you! even more so when i asked for more details about the project. apparently, scad's working on revamping studio 54 and will be styling a dressing room for an upcoming carrie fisher 1 woman show. and my painting will be in her dressing room.

my painting.

will be in her dressing room.

carrie fisher.

there's talk that hgtv will be covering this project and that us weekly, usa today and other press outlets have made inquiries, and that is awesome. but i'm completely bowled over by it being for CARRIE EFFING FISHER!!!

want a little piece of hearts and laserbeams history? prints of this painting are available!



in other exciting news, my candy corn party fabric design is part of this week's spoonflower halloween contest - i am currently getting my butt kicked by another cute design so please PLEASE consider a vote for hearts and laserbeams! if i win there'll be a great big sale to celebrate!

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6.30.2009

brand new paintings!

today was such a fun day! i spent a bunch of time working on five new 3" x 3" paintings for the upcoming arthouse coop canvas project group show. the goal for the project was to create a sort of visual encyclopedia - each participating artist gets five random words to paint and that is that! here's the words i was assigned:


carcinogen
"carcinogen"
3" x 3" acrylic on canvas


cotton
"cotton"
3" x 3" acrylic on canvas


equator
"equator"
3" x 3" acrylic on canvas


larynx
"larynx"
3" x 3" acrylic on canvas


zebra
"zebra"
3" x 3" acrylic on canvas



it was so nice out today i set up a folding table in the backyard and did my painting out there, and the group of three little birds that are always visiting our bird feeder kept me company all morning!


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i also spent a ton of time yesterday and today working on new screenprinting screens, i'll share the finished products with ya soon! (wanna be the first kid on your block with a brand new hearts and laserbeams grocery tote? better get your ass to renegade craft fair on july 11 and 12!)

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5.09.2009

that voodoo that yudu so well - part 1, how i learned to stop worrying and love the yudu

ok i'm really bummed that i JUST found my camera that's been missing for a week or more - i wanted to photodocument getting to know my yudu better! it was gonna be perfect... photos of us taking long walks on the beach, romantic candlelit dinners, canoodling at the movies - but instead you get just boring old stupid words!

except sometimes my words have been known to be at least a little entertaining.

but still. the plans i had for the pictures.

ugh. i'm buildig a bridge and getting over it!

so as i mentioned before, my superawesome amazing faboo rad honkytonk husband josh surprised me (us, we're sharing it, i keep forgetting that!) with one of those spanky new fancy yudu machines a couple of weeks ago! and i was so busy getting ready for Unique LA and workin on freelance projects on top of freelance projects that i juuuuuust got to crack that baby open last night!

i have to tell you that i've done the regular way of screenprinting before, and i was a tiny bit skeptical the first time i saw a yudu. it's by the same people that brought you the cricut, which is great for scrapbookers but not so much for people that wanna make their own die cut designs... i don't wanna be rude but my first impression was i kinda thought that it would be a very lowest common denominator type thing that would make low quality stuff for folks who just don't wanna be bothered with learning how to really screenprint. then i saw the yudu display at michaels, and started reading labels and kinda learning more about it, and had to tell josh very sheepishly "uh hey i know when you mentioned it i said it was dumb, but, uh, i kind of really super want a yudu. like really bad. so uh... sorry, and my birthday's coming up in july hint hint"...

and he ended up buying it early thank god! so far i am a total screenprinting convert and i'll tell you why:

1) shit on the yudu is all the same steps as traditional screenprinting but easier (once you get the hang of it). there's still emulsion and darkroom scenarios, but it's less time consuming!

2)if you mess up on burning a screen, it doesn't take a crapload of work and scrubbing to reclaim your screen - it takes like a minute. in your kitchen sink. while you hum to yourself. i have old-school wood frame screenprinting screens that haven't turned out right (from like YEARS ago) that i still haven't reclaimed because it's a huge pain in the ass!

3) as far as i can tell so far, the quality of the actual screens and supplies isn't inferior to old-school screenprinting. they say don't use any other inks but yudu inks, but i did find a website that tested using riso inks (like for the gocco) on the yudu screens and it worked fine. and they're cheaper. i'll be testing using the speedball fabric screenprinting ink i normally use in the future, will letcha know how that goes!

if you've never seen a yudu before totally check out the demo from handmade detroit, it's a good one!

so here's how burning the screens for the first time worked out for me: i burned some screens after watching the demo video and following yudu's specific directions and none of those screens turned out right. i reclaimed the same screen like 3 or 4 times. and then i got tired. later i came back to it, tried a few different things, and EVERY screen came out effing perfect.

so without further ado, here's my tutorial tips on how to prepare the perfect yudu screenprinting screen for exposing!

1) mood lighting: keep your lights dim the entire time so you don't forget what you're doing and ruin your emulsion sheet! i wrecked one by going into the kitchen to get something and flipping on a light - FAIL!

2)wet it and forget it: forget about the "dont get the screen too wet" part of yudu's instructions. i ran my screen under the kitchen faucet from the front and reverse side. then i wipe off the extra drippy water from the metal screen edges.

3) lay it on me sistahpants! so now (IN YOUR DIMLY LIT ROOM!!! NO DIRECT LIGHTING!) take your emulsion sheet and peel the plastic sheet off the side that comes off easy - then put it sticky side down on the back of your screen (the flat side), being careful to center it as you lay it down. (can't tell which is the sticky side? lick your finger and touch a corner, you'll figure it out real quick!) run your squeegee down it lengthwise, and then widthwise making sure to press out all the air bubbles.

then comes my special trick to make sure it's wet enough - holding it in your hand, look at the screen from the opposite side. lightly lightly spray that other side a couple of times with a water bottle, and run your squeegee once lengthwise along the screen. (from that side you just sprayed).

at this point, the green emulsion should look really even on both sides. if you've got any areas that look splotchy (they call it spiderwebby) you're not going to have a good end result. it should look really good and clean and even after doing my special trick. if not, try misting it again from that reverse side.

note: if your emulsion looks effed up before you dry it and expose it, you will end up with a bad screen. best to try again with a fresh sheet instead of going through the whole process to find out later it didn't turn out how you wanted it.

also note: drying time for my techniques is significantly longer than following yudu's instructions to the letter, but the results have been great every time.

also also note: your mom called and told me you're out of the family. sorry!

so the rest of it is business as usual following yudu's instructons:

4)dry that shit! after your emulsion looks lovely, put that screen in the drying rack and run the fan on it! using my method with more wetness involved, i think i averaged three to four 20-minute dry cycles before the screen was dry enough for exposing. you'll know when it's dry enough when it looks really even (and not wet at all) on both sides. test it by picking the plastic backing off the emulsion in a corner and peeling a tiny bit of it off. if it comes off really easy you're done! if it doesn't DON'T FORCE IT! put that thing back in the dryer and let it dry!

5) picture perfect pictures! ok one thing i tried from my old-school screenprinting techniques is i ran outta yudu transparencies, so i used vellum instead to print my image on. and i don't know if it was because that was a screen i did at like 2am and i think i messed up a bunch of things or what, but the vellum did NOT work at all. so don't do it! i do really like the yudu brand transparencies - they have a little bit of a tooth to em, so the images don't get all smeary when they come outta my inkjet printer.

from that point on i did pretty much everything to yudu's specifications - exposed the image for 9 minutes instead of 8 cuz i like to go the extra mile just to be sure, rinsed out the screen with cold water, and every one i've done since i started following these techniques has come out AWESOME.

oh wait one more thing. when you're done burning your screen and you've rinsed the unexposed green gunk out, i don't think it's necessary to use the yudu's fan for drying it. if you've got the time just blot off the excess water and set it up against a wall for a bit to dry. if you don't got the time hairdryer that shit!

another exciting thing i wanna share about the yudu is that i have a graphic i designed like 4 years ago that i've tried burning to screens the old fashioned way like 4 or 5 times with zero success because the line work was a little fine and frankly i'm not the best screen-burner in town. but following the above techniques i was FINALLLY able to get a clean burn of that image onto the screen and i am really effing excited about that! because it's pure comedy and it makes me chuckle!

so anyways, that's it for tonight - i'll be testing out the printing tomorrow, and like i said i found my camera so expect to see pics of the screens i burned and the printing process! pow!

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4.17.2009

I'M BLOGGING!!! omg lol wtf!!!

ok i have been all but m.i.a. on the internets for like 3 weeks, popping in long enough to check emails and take care of a couple of worky things here and there, and of course to play my turns on facebook scrabble and twitter like a mofo.

(in keeping with that mofo comment, tonight i went to the twittergrader website where they gave me a 99.3% (which i believe is a solid A, and means i get to stay up late tonight AND have ice cream for dinner!). and if you scroll down there's what they call a "tweet cloud" which is just made up of the words you twitter the most or most recently or something. i was laughing my ass off because number one it is very apparent that i'm a bit of a swearer and also a TON of my twitters are directed at jenn aka @swirlogirl.

oh shit i had a open parenthesis there. better close it.

)

there. i feel better.

ok so here's all kinds of updates on what i've been up to! number one, i started a temporary freelance gig onsite for 3 months down in mission viejo. this means wearing pants to work is actually a requirement for now, until this summer when i'm work from homegirl again. it's been good! i've been getting really solid in my indesign skillzzzz and that's been nice. the people are cool and the drive isn't as bad as i thought it'd be, and i feel fortunate that this particular gig came along because freelancing has been terrible slow lately.

so there's that - i also recently discovered the massive importance of having more than one method of backing up your work on the computer. especially if everything you do is on the computer. a couple of weeks ago, i was working late on some tee designs, and my dog comes walking up only wanting to say hi... but in the process he got tangled up in the power cords for my laptop and external hard drive and pretty much threw my external hd on the ground. rendering it useless. josh took the hard drive in to work so some of the computery guys there could try and recover all my files - they're trying a few more things before we have to send it to an actual data recovery place that's gonna cost buku bucks to get my stuff off of the drive... this is basically all my artwork that i've done over the past year and a half or so. and loads of photos. and hi-res scans of paintings that i've since sold.

basically everything i've ever done. i'm still kind of freaking out about it, but i've had the past two weeks to calm the eff down so i'll just share that if all the art is gone i'll start fresh and make more art, and that you could learn from my mistake and back things up 2 or 3 times. going forward i'll be saving everything to dvds and uploading to an online backup service. this will never happen to me again - i hope it never happens to you, either!

there has been good news - number one, i got featured on a blog! you can check it out here, she asked me a bunch of questions all interview style!

also, our dog has lost weight! it was only 3 or 4 pounds, but when the dog weighs 47 and drops to 43 that's losing almost 10% of his weight! i won't say he was tubby, but boy was getting tubby. jimmy's been discovering the joys of full-speed sprints chasing birds at huntington beach dog beach, and it's really been helping. i've been trying to help him drop the extra weight for MONTHS and nothing's worked!

what else, what else... if you're not doing anything tomorrow hearts and laserbeams will be at the de portola boutique in mission viejo! mention you heard about it on my blog when you visit my table and get $5 off your $25 dollar purchase!

i'm working my way through the jungle by upton sinclair for an upcoming hearts and laserbeams book report and that shit is DEPRESSING. are there any highschool reading list books from back in the day that aren't about people getting screwed over or dying? honestly, i wanna know if there's such a thing as an american classic novel that falls in the humor genre. and shakespeare doesn't count because even his comedies are tragedies. THE END!!!

ps if you can think of a funny high school reading book i will send you a free bookmark! first responder only, cuz listen up i don't have a ton of stamps!

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3.21.2009

pics of dao's art show!

last night gayle and i drove down to laguna beach (which thanks to roller derby i cannot say without pronouncing it laguna beeyatch in my brain) to see our friend dao's pieces in an art show!

her pieces were really cool - kinetic art and more modern stuff generally doesn't hold my attention long but this stuff was neat because it actually had story and a point behind it, rather than "hey i was fuckin around with some stuff and made this thing waddaya think?"

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this one was really great - she strung together TONS of led lights and programmed them to re-create a photo of her father. when the lights in the room were out it looked like this, and when the lights in the room came back on the leds changed so that he was still recognizeable.

it's weird how my own art is just meant to be fun and fucking around and not too deep, but i want stories and pertinance in kinetic art... need to just let go and enjoy it i guess!

anyways, moral of the story is i really liked dao's stuff, and if you have a chance you should check it out while it's there:

skin deep
dao nguyen and richard hutter

march 17 - april 25
235 forest ave
laguna beach, ca 92651
(949) 497-1880

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3.11.2009

who wants to see something new!!!

cuttinTheKeg

this here is a photo of the huzzz josh cutting open one of those heineken minikegs with his dremel tool. lookit those sparks fly! there was a rattley noise coming from inside the empty keg so he wanted to see what was inside - i predicted an even smaller keg of beer! unfortunately getting inside this thing is hard work and we don't have access to a chain saw so the project was abandoned.

and that's not the only show and tell i've got for today!



check out our dog jimmy the greek on a brand new coaster set! 50% of the price of these coaster sets will benefit the humane society, cuz we're huge fans of helpin out the homeless animals!

there's all kinds of new stuff in the shop today, including mousepads, coaster sets, stationery and personalized easter plates!



order your easter plates soon soon soon, cuz it takes a little time to get em made up - unfortunately there's not quite time to get them if you're international, but U.S. orders can be placed until march 22 with guarunteed easter delivery!

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3.08.2009

disneyland fun times!

two days in a row, we're back on blogging track!

chip and dale forever!

friday i got to go to disneyland with my sister michelle and her kids for a few hours, it was so much fun! it wasn't too busy, we were only there a few hours, it was all in all pretty sweet!

we ran around on tom sawyer's island for a while, took jacob on star tours for the first time ever, and got to see my other sister danielle hard at work! make sure you take a look at the pics i took and keep an eye out for her - she's got a big red nose and carries an axe!

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then that night i spent a bunch of time working on top secret projects! i hope to be able to share soon, it's gonna be a ton of fun for everyone! pow!

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2.28.2009

recap from the arthouse coop sketchbook opening!

dude, last night my sister michelle came over to hang out and after we ordered delicious chinese food from mr. chens, we remembered the opening reception for the sketchbook project show with art house coop was going on in atlanta!

and that they were webcasting it!

AND we are both in it!

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so the first step was to get onto facebook and twitter to adjust our statuses to alert the masses that we were attending the opening via the webcast!



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step 2 was to be told repeatedly by the art house website that they could only let 50 people into the webcast area at a time! being patient stinks!



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so to pass the time we ate delicious chinese food! orange chicken, wantons and steamed rice, and don't skimp on the woodchuck!



OH SHIT WE GOT IN!
we finally got into the chatroom with 40 minutes left in the reception! woo!!!




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i'm leanin in for a closer look, and we're plottin all the hobo jokes that we will later tell the group in the chatroom!



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beer and the internets is a winning combination, by the way!



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we finished off the night with fortune cookies... and let's just say michelle's may not have really fit her persona...



all in all we had a really fun night! after the art house show closed, we spent time on youtube watching world war 2 era disney cartoons and the redubbed gi joes including my all time fave, and oh dude i finally saw dr. horrible! you must watch it! i will always and forever be hopelessly in love with neil patrick harris, the end.

and also tonight is roller derby night and i'm super jazzed! but i'll say exactly what i said last game, i wish mila minute or laura palm-her were skating, but i'm sure it's gonna be a kickass game!

pow!!!

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2.27.2009

argyle for everyone!


jimmys new sweater!

jimmys new sweater!


so last spring i had started this dog sweater, and for whatever reason about 20 minutes away from finishing it i put it in the closet and forgot about it for almost a year!!! wtf! busted it out again this week at stitch n bitch and i totally finished that shit! i think it turned out pretty awesome and jimmy doesn't totally hate wearing it. (he know he gets all kinds of special attention from other people when he wears clothes so he's pretty tolerant)

if you didn't know, jimmy the greek has a celebrity page on facebook and you definitely should become a fan - write a note to him on the wall, he ALWAYS answers his fan mail!

also, have you heard about the sketchbook project? it's a great show being put on by the art house cooperative, and the travellin show starts today! artists from all over (including me and my sister!) all drew in a CRAPLOAD of sketchbooks and mailed em in. these fine folks are takin the show on the road and will be exhibiting the sketchbooks at nine different places - if you're east coast you may be able to see em in person! check out the show dates here!

AND if you're not east coast, you can see a live broadcast of the first show tonight! i believe it takes place from 7-10pm eastern time, so look sharp!

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2.21.2009

guess what i like pancakes!

ok, just in case you haven't heard...

i'm obsessed with nannerpuss.

have you seen nannerpuss? he was the star of a dennys superbowl ad, and he is AWESOME. you can see for yourself if you click on this link. you'll recognize him on the page as the yellow octopus-like chap sitting jauntily atop a pile of delicious pancakes! deeeeeelicious i tell you!

my favorite part of the commercial, is if you watch real close he actually rips one of his eyes off half-way through. THAT is how committed he is to selling you hot tasty dennys breakfasts!

anyhow, i am cleaning up for an open house this morning, sat down for what was supposed to be five minutes to answer a couple of emails, and ended up making this:



the question for you the public: what do you think of nannerpuss and wouldn't you like to see more of him? comments please!

TOTALLY AWESOME UPDATE!! oh and also you know i'm totally entering my pic in this contest!

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2.10.2009

my finished poster entry...



just uploaded my entry in the flight of the conchords poster design contest; cross your fingers for me! there's some really great designs on the site!

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2.09.2009

whoop whoop! shop news!!

hey folks, two things that you simply must know!

1) if you're cosidering placing an order for that special someone for valentine's day, you besssst get crackin! it's comin up on saturday, don't you know, and you need to order by tuesday night to make sure your goodies get there in time! don't forget to let me know if you'd like a special gift message enclosed!

all orders placed before tuesday night will ship us postal service priority mail wednesday morning and that should be enough time to get anywhere in the continental u.s. of a by saturday!

2) this one's a biggie! from now on hearts and laserbeams will ship your order worldwide for FREE!!! wowee wow wow!!

3) my sister danielle told me today she got the dream internship she was tryin for, with the kevin and bean morning show on kroq - you should tune in on tuesdays and thursdays starting next week cuz you might get to hear her from time to time! and she's awesome! congrats danielle!

4) i almost never stop at 2 things when i have 2 things to tell people, the end!

5) odd numbers always make for stronger layouts so let's end on five. i'm working on a poster design for the flight of the conchords poster contest - will be sleepin on it tonight and revisiting tomorrow, and if i still heart it i'll share it with you!

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1.26.2009

please vote hearts and laserbeams! pretty please??



hey there folks!

have you heard of spoonflower? it's a great new website that lets you design and print your own fabric!

every week they have a fabric design contest, and my hearty plaid pictured above is in the running this week! the winner's fabric is available through spoonflower's etsy site for a week after voting closes - buying this design directly from them means you'd be able to get this fabric $4 cheaper than when ordering through my own site!

so please - take a visit to their polls and show some steph calvert of hearts and laserbeams love; if i win there'll be a big fatty sale to celebrate! i think it's possibly a vote once per day kind of situation - if you'd be so kind as to vote as much as you can that would be superrad!

thanks so much for the support, have a great week!
steph

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1.18.2009

love is in the air!



i had so much fun working on valentines for fred flare's snail mail event i kept going and made some new designs for your v-day enjoyment! thanks for looking!

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12.18.2008

my thoughts on toasted everything bagels with extra butter...



i was talking with jenn this morning about bagels and how much i heart them, and she told me there used to be a bagel place on broughton street in savannah that she'd go to with fanny all the time. and that it closed down, and there's a jewelry store there now. i was wondering... if you tied the above note to a brick and threw it through their window in the middle of the night would they maybe start offering toasted bagels along with their baguette diamonds?

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12.10.2008

hearts and laserbeams holiday sale happy fun time!

whoop whoop whoop it's sale time, let's celebrate with coupon code SPIKEDNOG08 ! it's no mistake that our 20% off sale ends december 15, that's when all holiday orders need to be placed to ensure delivery by christmas!



happy shoppin! don't forget to check out the four new prints and lots of restocked plate designs!

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12.05.2008

hearts and laserbeams fabric is here!



so exciting, so exciting! i can't wait make all kinds of new fabrics! and then make stuff with that fabric! and then poop my pants!

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