bruce comes up to my desk just a little while ago and asks what i'm drawing.

"it's a car being mentos'd," i tell him with a straight face.

"being mentos'd? i've never heard that word." my boss says.

"that's because my sister and i just came up with it this morning," i say.

*****

this morning i left for work on time. or i wanted to leave for work on time. the ford focus parked in front of me, however, had other plans... my lovely neighbor had backed way up, leaving like 6 inches between both our cars. and the pickup truck behind me, it had left like 2 inches of room. lovely lovely.

so i call the cops and they say they'll send someone out. while i'm waiting in my car, i give michelle a ringydingy. and we're chattin' about this and that, and every now and then i'd bust into whatever she was saying and tell her "hey, there's a schoolbus going by. i wonder if they're coming to help me?"

i ask her if she thinks they'll tow the focus, since it's in the red zone. "at the very least, they should mentos the car in front of me, right?"

pause.

"they're gonna put it on a bench that's just been painted and roll it around so it gets stripes on it?" she asks.

"well, i was thinking that a bunch of them could just pick the car up and move it forward six inches, but that works too."

thank you very much! we'll be here all week, don't forget to tip your waitress!

(anticlimatic ending to the story, parking control showed up shortly after this and deemed that red curb to not be quite red enough. it's a fairly run-down decrepit curb. so she just helped guide me out of the spot. i have no idea how it even worked, it was such a freaking tight squeeze. got to work a half hour late, ate some lunch, and am currently wishing i was at home sleeping. the end!!!)