hey chumpos, happt freakin halloween! my sources say marty mcfly will make an appearance at the madision party - don't be fooled, it's the dance dance revolution king in disguise! cha cha cha! and now since i don't give a crap about working since i'll probably be here sat and/or sun, your friday five:

1. What was your first Halloween costume?
i have no idea... the first one i have a picture of i was like 3 or 4... it's one of those lambchop costumes with the plastic bag type body and crunchy plastic mask with tiny eyeholes and elastic strap that cuts off your circulation after 10 minutes...

2. What was your best costume and why?
a few years ago me, michelle and breanne were The Astroturf Avengers. astroturf super-hero costumes. i shouldn't have to explain why that's awesome. i recycled that costume and wore it to thinkbox the next year and won second place in the costume contest. second prize was a ring pop. a grape one. i hate grape candy. what a gyp.

3. Did you ever play a trick on someone who didn't give you a treat?
no, but my little brother threw a bunch of carved pumpkins in some dude's swimming pool in the old neighborhood one year... apparently those float.

4. Do you have any Halloween traditions? (ie: Family pumpkin carving, special dinner before trick or treating, etc.)
yeah, um, i find parties to go drink at.

5. Share your favorite scary story...real or legend!
true story, there was a time when i thought john from CHiPs was hot. then i grew up and realized it was all about eric estrada, baby!

little known facts: my boss is willing to take me on in the steel cage for seth green's love, and insists she'll win because he likes older women.

she totally won't be expecting my specialty move, which is a military-press-piledriver combo followed by me redirecting my foot to her ass! the championship belt will be mine!

last night i heard this on the daily show:

"television is just better when norm macdonald's on it."

anyone who disagrees should be punched in the face post haste.

two wonderful things about today:

1) best buy can be a very good place sometimes. took my printer in because it had mysteriously stopped printing black ink (no, the black ink wasn't empty - i'm not that slow. turns out it was just in dire need of a cleaning) anyways, got hit on quite a lot by loud annoying guy (who wanted to talk about everything from how the printer was bought at a soCal best buy to how i had all of the original packaging) while quiet cute guy cleaned the crap outta the durned thing. jen's answer to that was:

Swirlogirl: man those dudes wanted to sex your printer port

bwahahahhahahahaahahahahahahahah.

2) found a hat pattern for halloween and made my first foray into millenry or however the hell you spell it when i got home. cracks me up the costumes that came in that set, including the sexy nurse, sexy maid, sexy can can dancer, sexy pirate, sexy car hop or sexy red riding hood. i really just needed that hat. seriously.

3) the website. oh, the website. it is in good, dare i say great shape after millions of hours of work and interruptions and me being antsy yesterday. so close to done. only 3 things remain: preloader, jazz up home page, have a beer. you should go check it out.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?!@?!!? GO LOOK AT MY DAMN WEBSITE ALREADY!

my inner monologues crack my shit up.

so california's burning to the ground. which in itself, really isn't news - there's big fatass brush fires every year.

but to put things in perspective, usually those fires are contained within a few days.

yesterday some dude on the weather channel reported these fires would maybe be contained in a few weeks.

it always trips me out when daylight savings time ends and you find yourself waking up at 6:30 on the weekend.

i flipped on the tv and channel 25 was just about to show jack frost, that michael keaton family movie from a few years ago. did i ever tell you about the jack frost incident at the bbv? (yeah, homies, that's the blockbuster video to you)

it was a really busy friday night, maybe around 7 at night. i had a huge stack of movies i was putting back on shelves, and i think a couple of them were horror movies. while over in that area, i got a truly genious idea - michael keaton's jack frost had just come out the week before, there was a whole shelf of them behind me. so i took the horror movie jack frost and put it behind the micheal keaton coverbox. (you wouldn't notice the difference unless you really read the box, since they were all in the bbv covers)

about an hour later i breezed by the new release wall and no more jack frosts were on it.

so i'm standing next to another ass. manager, and we're giggling like jerks about what someone went home with, and the phone rings.

i made doug answer it. "hello, blockbuster video," he says.

"uh, i think i have the wrong movie? i rented jack frost, because i thought it was a family movie... and the snowman just killed someone."

doug handled it in a very ass. manager fashion, told her he was sorry, there must have been some mixup, we'll let you change it and have an extra free rental for your trouble...

there's like a billion stories like that from the 9 months or so that i worked there. pure hilarity.

oh yes, and this just in from our nutritionists: a full 52 piece serving of red hots has 0% of your daily recommended intake of vitamin c. good to know.

i'm supersleepy and just chilling, waiting for the new offspring to hit stores. danielle, i'm beating you to the punch for the lyrics of one of our favorite songs:

"It's Cool to Hate"

I hate a lot of things
I hate a lot of people that are lame
I like to hate stuff
Cause then I don't have to try and make
A change
I hate teachers
I hate school
I hate the cheerleaders
And anyone who's cool
I hate the office
I hate the Quad
Don't wanna learn nothing
I want to be a slob


It's cool to hate
It's cool to hate
I don't like nothing and I like that fine
(Liking something's just a waste of time)
It's cool to hate
It's cool to hate
I don't like nothing and I like that fine
(Liking something's just a waste of time)
I don't like nothing and like that fine
(Liking something's just a waste of time)
Yeah I hate everything
I even hate you too
So fuck you


I'm always thinking bad
I never have nothing good to say
I'd rather tear things down
Than build them up
It's easier that way
I hate the jocks
And I hate the geeks
I hate the trendies
But I also hate the freaks
I hate Dr. Martens
And Muscle T's
I'm only happy when I'm in my misery

It's cool to hate
It's cool to hate
I don't like nothing and I like that fine
(Liking something's just a waste of time)
It's cool to hate
It's cool to hate
I don't like nothing and I like that fine
(Liking something's just a waste of time)
I don't like nothing and like that fine
(Liking something's just a waste of time)
Yeah I hate everything
I even hate you too
So fuck you

It's cool to hate
It's cool to hate
It's cool to hate
It's cool to hate

I'll cut you down and give you lip
Being positive's so unhip
I'll cut you down cause I'm a fool
Being positive's so uncool
Being positive's so uncool
Being positive's so uncool

I hate the jocks
Annd I hate the geeks
I hate the trendies
But I also hate the freaks
I hate your band
And I hate TV
I'm only happy when I'm in my misery

It's cool to hate
It's cool to hate
I don't like nothing and I like that fine
It's cool to hate
It's cool to hate
I don't like nothing and I like that fine
(Liking something's just a waste of time)
Yeah I hate everything
I even hate you too
So fuck you

avert your eyes, the big nasty redhead is back!

hey danielle, you ass - it's barely gonna hit 50 degrees outside during this next week. i hate you.

also, while you're at your garage sale you have to pick out ultimate coolness items - things like an old bra or some broken crap no one would buy. if someone buys it with absolutely no prodding from you, you get ultimate coolness points, redeemable for a lifetime supply of sporks. remember zorflik and zorflok? i have that pic in a frame at my desk at work. it's freakin rad when people look at it all confused and i have to explain "that's me and my older sister michelle. we were working a garage sale." then the coworker smiles and nods and slowly backs out of my cubbyhole.

miss you much. call me this weekend or suffer the consequences.

oh p.s. before i go you all should also be catching the clap and the i heart the 80s on vh1. it's educational and crap. like who knew there was a time when chicken mcnuggets didn't exist?

tiny, one-sentence posts are freakin hilarious. you know a bunch of months ago when i was super excited about reading erika lopez's flaming iguanas? i got another one for ya - go get yourself a copy of wally lamb's she's come undone. you know it's good if it was part of oprah's book club.

oh yeah, and time has not been good to boy george's face.

and you all should know 24 starts up again next tuesday, and the oc is now on wednesdays. plan your going out schedules accordingly, you won't miss an episode of either show if you know what's good for you.

oh also, i hate deadline weeks because they totally fuckin' drain you and make you not want to do anything computer related when you get home, which further pushes back the grand opening of the website. there will be champagne and shit, because a) i'm building it myself and it's simple programming but I AM SO NOT A PROGRAMMER IT'S SAD and b) the thing's been a work in progress for almost 2 years.

if i finish it before january 8 or so, which is the 2 year anniversary of www.stephanielehman.com, i'm going to buy myself a pony.

no me gusta kathy! why do i feel sick!?!! this aggression will not stand, and the dude does not abide! blarrrg!

hardy har har you still get no good post. why? cuz i'm busy. stoopid crazy make me stay late work.

when i'm making brownies tonight for the pigout tomorrow i think i'm gonna slice them up into pieces so no one knows i already helped myself.

i had something else about something else, but then i erased it. oh, the mystery.

uhhhh..... i was just at moviefone.com, and i was looking up maybe catching a movie this afternoon because when i'm at work on the weekend it takes me forever to actually get around to work... and i just saw the movie description of "runaway jury". which was a really good book. (if you're forty, jen says, ahahahahahaa)

and in the book the trial was about cigarettes.

and in the movie the trial's about gun companies.

yeah, i won't be seeing that one. i'll go to the house of the dead instead.

so here's what i've gotten done at work so far today:

-hung my new junior senior poster
-checked work email
-checked personal email
-wrote a couple of work emails
-read a couple o blogs
-went to the bathroom
-did a five minute piece of art that was cutting and pasting together two existing pieces of art
-looked at movie times
-wrote in my blog
-talked on the phone
-got a soda and a sandwich from the vendomatics downstairs

the bottom line is i'm still at work, i have been for like an hour, and on the weekends it's damn near impossible for me to get anything done. now if you'll excuse me all this hard work has made me thirsty; it's time for a coffee.

oh, man,yesterday's junior senior show with jen... the only thing to describe it if you've never heard about them is think about the absolute best, most fun, happening party where everyone's just super jazzed to be there and dancing like mad. now multiply the energy level of that party you're thinking of by 50billion. and i'm gonna marry lars and have a jillion of his babies.

oof. i want to write so much more about that party but i can't right now. too busy feeling like bleh.

i. do. not. want. to. trace. anymore.

The Friday Five
1. Name five things in your refrigerator.

the milk's name is charlene
the cheese's name is smokey
the celery's name is the bandit
the last marschino cherry's name is lady
the leftover pesto's name is the tramp

2. Name five things in your freezer.

the burrito's name is jose
the other burrito's name is deacon
the french fries' name is thorne
the fish's name is chumpo
the bag of carrots' name is chachi

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink.

the hammer's name is smashy
the potting soil's name is dirty tramp
the grocery bag's name is wheezy
the pine sol's name is wanda
the hacksaw's name is choppy chop

4. Name five things around your computer.

the computer's name is that rat bastard
the printer's name is chunky mcfatso
the tank mousepad's name is superfly
the milkcrate's name is stolen
the desk's name is splinter

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet.

the deodorant's name is lord davidorf the third
the toothbrush's name is the enforcer
the pond's cold cream's name is ploo
the box of contact lens' name is mike
the rifle's name is mr. mcKill

d-d-don't don't stop the beat
i c-c-can't control my feet
pee pee peeple in the street
come on everybody and move your feet

don't stop (don't stop) don't stop the beat
can't stop (can't stop) can't stop the beat
won't stop (won't stop) won't stop the beat
GO!!!

go straight to madison tomorrow night, where the annex will be chock full of junior senior goodness!!! DO IT! oh yeah, and electric six is playing, too. which should also be quite good.

after pizza and iron-on-letter-partying tonight i got inspired to make a piece of art that could forever house the best candy wrapper in the world - just gotta slap some varnish on it tomorrow night and its done. someday when i paint enough stuff for a show you can come check it out and laugh your ass off. or just come to my house and look at my kitchen counter, where the thing's drying.

so you know the macy's day parade? apparently oshkosh has their own version of it, complete with bigass balloons.

and bgosh sponsers one of those balloons. and this morning they asked for volunteers to drag it down the street.

so november eighth look for me under the 25ft tall chilly willy running rampant through the streets of oshkosh. if i'm lucky they'll let me throw gutter candy to boot.

oh hey i forgot all about this until now. last night i got another one of those "hey aren't you sick of dial-up being so damn slow? how about high speed internet access with earthlink!" offers in the mail.

and as much as i would love to get the cable modem or the dsl or whatever, there's no way i can afford it. and it's funny when you tell people you still use dial up. the looks of horror are priceless.

but what i really wanted to tell you about was the little time warner cable logo on the earthlink envelope. time warner cable is part of time warner, right? which is actually aol time warner, yes? which aol is most definitely a part of?

so is earthlink really just aol for people who don't want to tell others they use aol?

ahahahaha, lying is fun sometimes. like tonight, when i boldly stated that going to the gym was for suckers, and that i was skipping psychobutt class to go home and eat dinner and get the website a little closer to done.

and then i got out to the car, started it up, thought about how i had all my shit with me and it was just an hour out of my time and it's good for you america ocean spray so off to the gym i went.

then i came home and ate some dinner, and here comes lie number two, i haven't done a damn thing to the website yet today. but i'll probably start on it sometime soon. stay tuned to find out if i'm lying or not. but go check out the website link - most recently i added life drawing, animation, links, and a very bland welcome to the site blurb that will change very soon and possibly be accompanied by an animation of a monkey eating paint chips.

oh, and i'm very jealous of michelle, who was paid for a full day of work to wear the mike w. costume for 20 minutes today at pixar studios - she spent the rest of the day galavanting around san francisco, eating rice a roni and learning how to be a dirty hippie.

also in today's news, i wish jen's puter wasn't on it's way to georgia. y'all better be praying for its speedy recovery.

and i have an unnatural affection for eating marschino cherries out of the jar. no ice cream, no pina coladas. just cherries. the end.

and couch shopping, while fun, can be quite annoying when it doesn't go fast enough.

so yesterday i was at walgreens, waiting for my perscription to get filled. i started wandering through the aisles cuz i had a couple of other things to pick up (listerine, neutrogena eye cream, and a melty bar cuz i know you care). i found the halloween section so i could price fake eyelashes for halloween. (after seeing lori at disney prom i've just been looking for any ol excuse to get a pair) and i saw all kinds of standard halloween costume fare - pirate costumes, clown wigs, and prison hats. that last one's what the story is about.

think about a hat a person would typically wear when dressing as a prisoner on october 31. done? okay, what's that hat look like?

most of you would say a pillbox type hat (circley shape). with big fat black and white stripes, of course.

and you'd be wrong.

because according to the halloween aisle at walgreens, this year the prisoners are stepping things up a notch and are dressing to the nines. on their heads they will wear those huge lameass felt top hats that all the drunken college kids wear on st. pattys day weekend in savannah. in big fat black and white stripes, of course.

i fully expect to go back there next week to find tye-dyed nun costumes.

cue the robot voice: *weeping, weeping*

one more thing - i don't think i'm alone when i say all the ricardo shorts were lame.

this just in from the Better Late than Never Department:

The Friday Five

1. Do you watch sports? If so, which ones?

i watch sports pretty infrequently - i'm more into the social get-together aspect of watching (sitting with friends, chatting, snacking on snacks) than actually keeping up with stats and things, which tends to not sit well with people who are very serious about it. football's pretty interesting because i finally just started learning the rules and such about 3 years ago when i watched the super bowl with my sister danielle. DANIELLE, DANIELLE, DANIELLE. she explained the game, and it's much cooler to watch now. i like basketball the most, and will sometimes go out of my way to watch when the lakers are on. oh, another reason i sometimes flip on sports games is for the homesickness factor - even if baseball's not my favorite game on earth, flipping on the dodgers playing whoever gauruntees exterior shots of the stadium, and more importantly, los angeles. or in the angels case, anaheim. (shaking fist) it's heartwarming, i tell you.

2. What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes?

hmm... the lakers. no surprise there. no favorite players, really, except for me in the sport of tonsil hockey.

3. Are there any sports you hate?

i will never ever ever ever ever ever ever watch the following on tv: golf, hunting, and golf.

4. Have you ever been to a sports event?

i've been to a few - a dodger game when i was like 3 and my dance class had to perform (at 3 that mostly means walking in a circle in a hideous costume), a kings game a couple of years ago, and 2 angels games with justin within the last couple of years. i still have the cheezy bigass soda cup from the last angels game i saw with him - it's on my desk at work.

5. Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play?

i took dance lessons from 3yrs to about 14 - mostly ballet, some tap, some jazz. was finally allowed to quit at 14, started taking tae kwon do. did that through high school, was finally allowed to quit sometime during senior year.

it's funny that that question came up - i thought about the whole tae kwon do thing after seeing kill bill on friday, about how much i really enjoyed it. martial arts is amazing. and i miss it. and then i think about the abuse i went through at the hands of one of the instructors - the emotional and physical shit and everything tied up in it, and how i think about that every fucking time i'm alone in my house and do some of the stuff i learned in high school... if i ever go back to doing martial arts it won't be the same form. maybe it'll be kickboxing next time. or tae bo, bwahahahhahaa.

also on the list of things i need to get back to that i haven't done in a long long time is animating. went with steph and phil down to milwaukee to see don hertzfeldt and mike judge's the animation show yesterday. i really really wish plans had worked out when i was back home, because michelle and joe et al would have enjoyed it immensely, too. it was a really good time. don hertzfeldt's bumpers for the beginning and end, as well as his piece for the intermission, were the high points for me. no surprise there - he's my animation hero. i didn't really need to see billy's balloon on the big screen again, though. it's earlier stuff by him and while it's funny it runs a little long. and rejected's been out for a long time, has been shown in the spike and mike festivals. and tim burton's vincent has been on release for a few years now, since it's on the nightmare before xmas dvd...

it felt like maybe some things were filler because the festival is new this year. not that i'm complaining - i'll never get enough of rejected, and vincent is a beautiful piece of animation. i'm just antsy to see hertzfeldt's new film. maybe that's why they started the festival now - get the word of mouth going, more submissions, lots of new awesome stuff for to go with the new don hertzfeldt next year.

it brings up the question what belongs in an animation festival and what doesn't? i'm not the one to judge. looking at it in this light don and mike were dead on - populate it with shorts that a variety of people, who maybe aren't exposed to much animation, would look at and go holy crap cartoons are rad. give people who maybe haven't seen a short that's only on a certain dvd a chance to see it on the big screen. give people a little history - ward kimball's work from "mars and beyond" was fuckin cool, and i never would have seen it otherwise. while i didnt' really care for "the cathedral", it's an excellent example of the astonishing things 3d animation is capable of. an animation festival should educate people on the amazing things animation can do in different mediums, and the animation show did exactly that. and it was fun to boot.

but thank god it had so much don hertzfeldt-ness throughout, because i'm a huge fan of stick people.

way too long story short, i loved the show yesterday, and hope they can keep it going long enough for me to buy a computer in a year or so and start working on a new short.

two things before i get off my ass for the gym:

1) if you don't go see kill bill you're an ass, because it's tons of fun for everyone.

2) if you happen to be at uc berkley next week and there's some event going on and you see someone dressed up as mike wazowski from monsters inc., that's my sister in there, on her first tour after 7 years in the character dept at disneyland. so exciting!!!

3) if it wasn't $22 at fleet farm, each and every one of you would be getting this for xmas. since it is $22, my neice is the only one i'm buying it for.

4) speaking of the haileymonster, she now wants to be a ballerina like the one in fantasia 2000 for halloween.

hey hey hey hey hey it's friday and i'm not in love. i want my money back. the cure, i'm looking in your direction.

go read danielle's latest blog about her band tshirts and how they gayed up the final version. not that your shirts are gay... just that i liked the original one better.

best alternate tshirt slogan wins a prize. danielle, you get to pick the winner.

mine is "saxes are for lovin."

you know, i'm not by any means a rich woman. things are tight right now, but thank god i'm really good at living within my means. and this does not bother me at all. nothing wrong with poor.

until you hear about the exorbitant amount of money that those who are really well-off pay for certain things. like a chair that's worth about as much as everything in my house put together. it's at those times i get a little angree at being poor.

creepy creepy...

1) someone hit this site today by typing my name in google. creepy because that's the first time i've ever seen that on the tracker. if i have a stalker i'm going to be very upset.

2) through my extensive research of that hit (taking place over the course of thirty seconds) i found out someone else out there is named steph lehman and is making drunk phone calls. of interest are the entries at the bottom of the page, around july 28-29. drunken steph lehmans of the world unite, and let us all blanket the earth in our slurry sloppy greetings!

seriously, danielle, smash is, was, probably will forever be both the best song and the best full cd by the offspring. plop plop ploppity ploo. the end.

danielle - go to www.blogspeak.com for commenty goodness. there's a window where you can specify different colors for text and bg and stuff, and then there's instructions on where to put the code in your blog template. lemme know if you need help - it's not hard, but if you've not messed around with code a lot before it can be a little tiny bit overwhelming. just a tiny bit. you'll be able to figure it out, i'm sure.

and if not i'll point and laugh.

i got nothing for tonight except mixed feelings about many things in my life including (in no particular order): the strangely violent dreams i've had for the past 4 nights or so, my financial inability to get a computer that actually runs as fast and reliably as i'd like, couch shopping, the seemingly slow pace of the website build, the long distance lovers and the frustrations wrapped up in that, the recent and constant changes at work, danielle being sick, hearing from justin through email about once a week, the new california governor (if he does nothing else i hope he at least fixes the car tax and licenses for illegal immigrant things... and the immense deficit - that'd be nice, too, if those things could be taken care of before i move back there), buying new warmy warm socks, making art, fake eyelashes.... the list goes on.

my brain is sometimes full of some very weird and random things. if i didn't have a journal or a blog or art all of the weird stuff would someday spontaneously amass and POW! (penis) change me into a sea cucumber. which, michelle and i decided should look exactly like a regular cucumber with a shark fin coming out of it's back. at least that's what jacob's gonna be for halloween if hailey sticks with her plan to be a killer whale.

and getting back into the gym routine after taking a 2 week vacation from being healthy is really hard to do. i just wanna come home after work, eat a stick of butter, and watch hollywood squares.

oh, one more thing. i haven't ever been moved to tears this easily about any celebrity dying; every time i see something about john ritter's passing it makes me really sad.

this just in: flashdance was a john grisham novel.

our girl on the street jen says "so was the muppets try big bird for murder. it was the sequel."

worse than the shitty computer always shutting itself off when i'm working is that i had the tv on in the background for about the past hour while i was tinkering around with stuff for the website and i just found out i've had a steven segal movie on the entire time.

i feel unclean.

my computer is crap. the end.

danielle, dammit, you need comments on your blog. cuz then, instead of going through all the toils and troubles of making a new post on my blog, i could just hit the comment button on your blog to say atom willard is hot and creeepily similar to my boyfriend noodles.

and if you got the black lung and died since we last talked i'm gonna be pissed. what'd the doctors say?

I love it when you go someplace like, say, Walgreens and you buy something in small box form like oh, let's say tampons.

And the cashier puts said tampons in a tiny tiny bag that just fits around the box. No handles or anything... you're basically carrying the item out of the store in your hand with some discreet packaging just in case you're embarrassed... which isn't really all that discreet because the bag is mostly see through...

oh thank god it's still available!

beware the yeehaw cyclist!

it's all about product placement, baby.




find all the corporations represented and win a prize!

okay, the worst of the batman series (that'd be the batman and robin, with george clooney as bman) is on, and if i lived someplace like gotham city, where there were all these insane crazy villains doing things like deep-freezing the entire town, i would move.

work on the website continues to chug along - i'm done with the nekkid people drawrings and almost done with the graphic designy stuff. when the whole thing's done i am totally gonna celebrate.

also, i wonder if it's bad for my basil plant to not have any leaves left.

danielle, you know i went and whipped out the cd booklet to conspiracy of one when i read your blog. creepy creepy.
and stop being sick. that shit ain't cool.

so i found this through some poking around on other people's sites that read this one... could be interesting. for a few weeks, anyways.

the friday five:

1. What vehicle do you drive?

'92 toyota corolla

2. How long have you had it?

almost 4 years

3. What is the coolest feature on your vehicle?

the ever-so-spacious trunk, which currently holds a sled, an ice scraper, an umbrella, the spare tire, 10 old jack in the box antenna balls, and the bodies of 5 of my former lovers. oh and i like the laser cannons i installed last week a lot

4. What is the most annoying thing about your vehicle?

the superloud buzzing noise that happens when i use my right turn signal and the leaking wiper fluid resevoir

5. If money were no object, what vehicle would you be driving right now?

one of those newish superhot ford thunderbird convertibles (newish because i hear they already stopped making them), a 74 vw thing that actually drives good and isn't painted that horrible red, or a brand new vw jetta. or a rocket-powered car that can jump the length of a football field like in the movie hooper.

Dear FOX studio executives:

Where is Bucho?!?!?!!?

Sincerely Yours,
El Mariachi

gather 'round kiddies, it's friday story time!

last night i decided to do laundree. separated out my two large-ish loads and lugged 'em to the convenient washer and dryer downstairs. started one load up in the washer, and went back upstairs to await the season premier of scrubs. because that show rocks. at the first commercial break of said show, i went downstairs to switch out the loads. threw all my wet clothes in the dryer, and found out the damn thing was broken. so after much swearing i put on some warm clothes, got my crap together and went to the laundromat.

while i was sitting there waiting for my stuff to dry i started paging through a national geographic that was on the table next to me. and i got to a viagra ad. which in itself is always funny. but better yet was reading the small print paragraph at the bottom of the page. it said things like:

- see a doctor to find out if your heart is strong enough to handle the extra strain of sexual activity.

-may cause headaches, nausea or something else that i can't remember.

-if while taking viagra you have an erection for more than four hours, go to the hospital immediately.

um... shouldn't you be worried if it lasts for more than an hour?

seriously, switching time zones is hard. i don't feel tired at all right now. and all week getting up at 7 has been death. because it's 5am in california.

and i haven't been able to shake being antsy about various things, so there hasn't been much to read since our big catch-up on monday night.

for those of you who know the code, couch shopping is back on. and if you don't know what that means and would very much like to, gimme a shout and i'll explain.

it's funny how i'll completely spill my guts about my frustrations other things on here but i won't talk about something so simple as couch shopping. it's partly protecting myself from the wrong people finding out. but even more than that, having blogger secrets are fun. and plans are fun. seriously. think about when you plan something out that's gonna happen in the near future - how fucking exciting is it!?! the possibilities are endless.

so i'm going to bed, but before i do lemme say the record player needles found their way to my mailbox this afternoon, and for the past couple of hours my living room's sounded like a damn roller rink. if you don't think disco's all that fun you really need to be shot.

also new this evening is a canker sore.

and OH SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT. congratulations to my little sister danielle, who got her driver's license today. may you forever carry on the lehman family tradition of scaring the shit out of everyone who gets in the car with you.

and, also for danielle, why the hell are the offspring talking about touring in november and december? why not give it a little while after the cd comes out so more people have heard the music and are totally jazzed about it? huh. hope pizza was spledid good times. call me this weekend - you know the drill. and if i win the lottery you can have chuckles. then the car problem'll be solved. or maybe i'll go blind in the other eye, too. can't drive a car then. if that happens you can have it. it's paid for.

i'm really going to bed.

cuz i know it's late
i know you're weary
i know your plans don't include me
something blah blah
noo nee noo noo
why don't you stay

dude, check out schwarzie's campaign song. now you know he means business.

ahahahahah, today jen found out my secret website.