i. do. not. want. to. trace. anymore.

The Friday Five
1. Name five things in your refrigerator.

the milk's name is charlene
the cheese's name is smokey
the celery's name is the bandit
the last marschino cherry's name is lady
the leftover pesto's name is the tramp

2. Name five things in your freezer.

the burrito's name is jose
the other burrito's name is deacon
the french fries' name is thorne
the fish's name is chumpo
the bag of carrots' name is chachi

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink.

the hammer's name is smashy
the potting soil's name is dirty tramp
the grocery bag's name is wheezy
the pine sol's name is wanda
the hacksaw's name is choppy chop

4. Name five things around your computer.

the computer's name is that rat bastard
the printer's name is chunky mcfatso
the tank mousepad's name is superfly
the milkcrate's name is stolen
the desk's name is splinter

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet.

the deodorant's name is lord davidorf the third
the toothbrush's name is the enforcer
the pond's cold cream's name is ploo
the box of contact lens' name is mike
the rifle's name is mr. mcKill