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i am bill s preston, esquire!!

i found out tonight that esquire is a title that lawyers use after their names to sound all fancy and that they think they're better than us...

i feel like i haven't blogged in ages again, and all kinds of stuff's happened since the last time i wrote!

most recently, i just got home a little while ago from dinner with my friend ann, who just got finished taking the mutual fundin' bar exam. to be a lawyer, and do lawyer-y things like yell "i object!" all the time. the lame thing is she won't find out the results of the test until november. i hope the test results don't say she's pregnant, and if they do i sure do hope it ain't mine. cuz i'm not paying child support, you know what i mean jellybean? god i love jellybeans. especially the jelly belly pear-flavored ones.

also this week, yours truly turned 29 years old. celebrated by going out to breakfast with my mom, sister danielle and josh on saturday. i made delicious vinnie's tampon case red hot brownies to take to work on tuesday, and feasting on those along with some devil's food cupcakes made by one lisa willey of the merch department! went out to lunch courtesy of the art dept, and then after work went to my first dog obedience class for little jimmy. after that josh and i hit the macaroni grill for some choose your own pasta adventures, and then we were tired and went to sleep.

because i am a very exciting thrill-a-minute kind of girl!

awwwwwwwww yeah.

wednesday, i took jimmy to the dog park, and then cleaned house for the rest of the night.

because i am a very exciting thrill-a-minute kind of girl!

but thursday. ohhhhhhhh, thursday. we got a good-sized group together, consisting of myself, josh, josh's bro chris, their cousin michelle and her husband tom, my siblings michelle, brandon and his girlfriend jackie and danielle, and kevin and freddie, and then we hastened to the fountain valley skating rink for some 18 and over rollerskating fun times. oh god it was so awesome. the music was good, there were no snotty highschool punks... though one of these weeks i wouldn't mind going on a tuesday because i think that's 80s night and i think i might buy one of those crinoline skirts just for the occasion... seriously that rink hasn't changed in the 20something years i've been going there. i think that's part of why i like it. that it's the only place in all of orange county still rocking that old school 4 pics on a strip photo booth, and that it's still playing all the same music as always.

except for ghostbusters, it for some reason lost its copy? i remedied that by asking them to play the monster mash instead. which they did. i was skating around making an ass of myself and dancing/skating around the rink during that song, and this college-age guy asks "hey, is there really a dance that goes with the monster mash?" and i'm all uhhhhhh i dunno and he says that's too bad cuz i thought you really knew how it went. which cracked my shit up because i almost NEVER know whats going on. the end!

but not the end, i found more shirts to show you! check it out -

straw-bah-bah-bah-bah-berry, strawberry shortcake!

finally, a shirt that combines your love of kids toys with your love of expensive cars!

but the icing on the cake this week, almost even better than josh taking it upon himself to decide that i need an awesome wacom tablet on my computer... i got a photo from one of mighty fine's owners this morning of a dude wearing a woodstock shirt i'd worked on for the charles schulz museum a couple of months ago:



folks, that's ringo starr. of the mutual fundin' beatles. that blows my freaking mind.

also, neither michelle nor i got into the jr sr video, which makes me sad, but it sure still is fun to watch... which reminds me i never put our footage up on youtube. i might get around to that someday... maybe.

i'm mellllllltinnnnnnng

dude. it's freaking hot out. and i'm melting. i feel bad for my sister danielle - it's 108 in anaheim, over there by ye olde disneylande, and she's walking around in a bear costume.

you know how i feel about that.

MY PARENTS WERE EATEN BY A BEAR!!!!

barrrrrrf baaaaags.... and cake!

AHAHAHAHAHAH here's that other barf bag we drew on. the text reads "your official america west barf bag". note the drippy barf letters. deeeeelicious!

a bonanza of updates!!!

ooooooo, it's been ten days. shame on me. but shame on you for farting at work the other day and blaming it on the girl next to you. yeah i heard all about it.

this is gonna be a long post so make yourself some nachos and get comfortable...

there's so much to tell you about! most importantly, jimmy finally got his cone off today, after over a month of wearing it. he's loving life, i tells ya. and josh and i are loving that he starts obedience classes next tuesday (cough cough my birthday cough cough), because that boy needs it. that boy needs it something fierce.

i do have to share that jimmy loves his stuffed animals. his favorite one being a goose we got at petsmart. but his other favorite being heedly pecked me in the eye, a scary stories chicken jenn got me for my bday or xmas a couple of years ago. sometimes he loves his stuffed friends so much though, that they lose limbs. goose is now beakless and heedly's minus a foot...



on the lady scouts front, we got into this december's bazaar bizarre! so exciting... i started on a new batch of crochet cupcakes last night during project runway (by the way i think angela shoulda gone home she stinks!!!)... pay a visit to the lady scouts blog for some recent photos and such, including a shirt i made for martin and kim burke's new baby girl!

ahahahahahah i can't resist i'm posting it here, too. it just cracks me up:



so this last weekend, josh and i went to new mexico to see his mom. it was fun as always to hang with her and gunther - that dog is humongous, and too cool for school. check him out:



yes that's right, this is a picture heavy post. deal with it! to help you deal, check out this photo of flava flav, who made a special appearance at the las cruces hobby lobby...



and i have to tell you the best shit happens at the airport when josh and i travel together. number one, we drew on a couple of barf bags and left em on the plane for the next travellers... there's another one that's even better; when i get the photo off of josh's phone i'll share.



the other awesome thing that happened was on the way home, i swear to god, someone was paging a miss connie lingus to the white courtesy phone. they had a screen where you could see the names of people that had calls waiting, right? and it cracked us up because every other name had normal capitalization on the first letter everything else lowercase, but connie lingus WAS IN ALL CAPS SO IT STOOD OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB.

some very important things i found out in las cruces. number one, it's hella hot out there in july. and number two, i heart mimosas like no ones business. josh's mom and i got pedicures on her birthday last friday, and i got a little sloppy on mimosas in the process. i'd like to think it was discreet. but it probably wasn't hooray! carole's friend linda threw us a wedding shower and it was so ra-sha-sha classy, we were high society ladies with our box lunches (and mimosas). oooooo it's so good!

aaaaaaaaaand i have to tell you i have more shirts i designed to show you!


currently at forever 21


currently at jcpenney


currently at jcpenney


currently on clearance rack at anchor blue

and here's a couple of links to shirts i did that are online...
party on!

pony up!

aaaaaaaaand i think that's it? i'm sure i could tell you more awesome things.... like jimmy's biting his own ass right now. it's pretty amazing. the end!

testing...

i'm wondering if i should be putting photos on flickr and then linking em here instead of uploading em to my webspace. testing testing 123 lets see how this looks.

i'm just a bill

wait! i found another tee i did on jcpenney's site this morning!

you heart school house rock, you know it!

bang pow pow snap kablooie!!!

oh snaps, the delias catalog was an awesome thing to come home to last night. page 33, item C... the first thing i ever did at mighty fine! it wasn't in the catalog or website at first, but then they did a reorder on it, enough so that it's not an instore only item anymore! so exciting!

you should probably order like ten of them.

play some skynard!!!

okay, so last tuesday there was a mixup or something, and danielle didn't get to do her radio show.

what does this mean for you? A, you didn't miss out! and B, now there's a fancypants ad to promote the crap outta this thing. if you wanna put the ad on your own myspace page, lemme know and i'll give you the code...

i have to tell you, i'm very excited about her show. number one, because danielle is hilarious. and number two, she has excellent taste in music. except i think she listens to the plan sometimes, and that's more than a little homogay. but i'll forgive her for that i guess. maybe.

we went and saw the strangers with candy movie on friday night. it was totally awesome, and if there's an indie movie theater playing it somewhere near you get your ass there post haste! just so you know, a side order of red beans and rice from popeyes fits more than comfortably in my purse.

and now, i'd like to tell you a little story about how you do not eff with team kickass. last night, josh and i were taking jimmy out to, you know, crap on other people's lawns. (we pick it up, i swear) so he's finished his business, and we start walking back to our building. as we get to the front door, one of us is handling jimmy, the other's getting their keys out, and hey there's a pizza guy right there just about to get buzzed into the building! front door's open, he's walking in, we were about ten feet behind him, he totally saw us there behind him, and let the front door slam in our faces so we'd have to unlock it to get in. and then, he rushed into the elevator and closed the doors so he wouldn't have to share it with us.

we get into the elevator a minute later, and josh hits all the other buttons for our floor and the other 2 floors so when the pizza guy comes back down stairs it'll end up taking FOREVER to get there. the best part is our building's pretty open, and you can see the elevator doors on the other floors... man that was awesome. the end!

really short notice...

i was gonna post about this last night with a nicely designed ad and shit, but then we went to dog park and got sidetracked by comfy sleepy bed.

but in a half hour, you better tune your ass in to my sister danielle (aka perlo) lehman's brand new radio show!!!

that's 930am pacific time, (1230pm for you eastern mofos)at the following link:

http://www.csudh.edu/asi/asiradio/pages/listenlive.htm

DO IT FOR YOUR COUNTRY!!!

monkey see, monkey do, monkey doo all over you

i just saw a rerun of that last bride standing show i was almost on, and i'm just a little sad i chose not to do it, mostly because damn those girls lacked any real personality. but also because damn i love making an ass of myself in front of tons of strangers, and they filmed this thing at universal citywalk. i guess those reasons really walk hand in hand down jackassery lane, don't they?

being on an actual tv show (as opposed to showing up for a split second on who's line when my sister who got sung to was sitting down or having my name mentioned on 'good day wisconsin' or being shown dancing on the sidewalk behind a politician during the oshkosh 4th of july parade) would've rocked so hard, except that i didn't really care about any of the prizes they were giving away on that show.

maybe i need to be a more fancypants girly girl that is more interested in a pair of uglee heels that cost $500?

but then again, maybe not.

strike a pose there's nothing to it

i feel like i may have already used that title in reference to internet photos sometime... whoops. but i can't help it if our dog is the most photogenic one at the dog park.

about 3-4 weeks ago when we first brought jimmy the greek home, he was completely spooked by the mirrored closet doors at our place. like we'd wake up in the middle of the night to him quietly growling at the other dog in the room. after a couple of days though, he kinda just understood that it was nothing to worry about. until last night, when he decided he was creeped out again. this dog spent the entire night growling and barking at his reflection across the room. i feel so bad for josh, who had to be up at 5am to get ready for work. i always thought "no rest for the wicked" was just a phrase. apparently, not so much.

this morning i went for coffee with my sister michelle. we wanted to check out that coffee place across the street from park pantry, right? so we get some tasty coffee and pastries and sat at a table outside. about 15 minutes later two girls come by with their puppy. they get some coffee and sit at the empty table next to us. very friendly couple, one of them was wearing a rainbow necklace if you know what i mean. and their puppy looked just like jimmy so i ask what kind he is, and we just start chatting, and every time i say something i inadvertently use the word "we" meaning josh and i, right? like "oh we brought him home like 3 weeks ago," and "we're looking for good dog-friendly restaurants around town"... i slowly start realizing that they have no idea who josh is, and that the "we" refers to my sister and me as a couple. because long beach has a very large alternative lifestyle-like community.

we did what anyone else would do in that situation - when we finished our coffee, said goodbye, and threw our cups away, we put our arms around each other as we crossed the street to our cars. and said very quietly "dude, we're so gay now."

i'm mellllllting

dude it is way to f'in hot out right now. all motivation to do anything productive has been sapped, replaced with the desire to do nothing more than lurk on the internets.

and if you're ever in the area of either los alamitos or huntington beach, you should go check out great dane bakery's cupcakes, they're hella deeeeeelicious!

aw hell the dryer just buzzed that it's time to change the loads, i'm outta here.

also, not like i'm planning wedding music or anything, but what's your favorite party song?