the hearts and laserbeams blog!

recently blogger decided we can't publish my blog to my own website anymore so here we are! pardon the dust, and please visit us online at www.heartsandlaserbeams.com!

hearts and laserbeams is the wacky good-times art and design by me, steph calvert. i team up with robots, cupcakes, and stick people to show people art isn’t all about seriousness, missing ears, and deep thoughts; it can actually be tons of fun.

2.25.2006

man i hope michelle's got a free second or two this week to come make a crazy video with me, that will hopefully be incorporated into the next junior senior video...

i'm thinkin' of filming at the queen mary. any other better long beach locations you can think of? any things that you think we should do to make our submission stand out more? your input's worth 20 points per suggestion! pow!!! junior senior's dynamite!

p.s., part of the submission involves talking about someone you'd be interested in getting to know. i'm thinkin about talkin a little about ron perlman, obviously. and maybe jon stewart. who else should i consider talking about?

okay is it working NOW?!?

2.24.2006

testing.... why is blogger dumb?

2.23.2006

blogger is gay sometimes.

okay so i feel like i should be doing something more than just hanging out on the internets relaxing. i'm supposed to be paying my bills online, sure, and i'll get to that eventually, but isn't there something more i was supposed to be doing tonight than waiting for my laundree to finish and filling out retarded myspace surveys?

oh right. i was gonna take out my contacts. done and done.

i was gonna end the gym hiatus tonight on my way home, but then i got really hungry. and going to the gym would just make that worse, so i had some food instead. but sometimes just chillin' on the internet is totally what the doctor ordered. especially when i know ahead of time tomorrow is gonna be a looooong day at work.

also, it's dakota fanning's birthday today, a kid who's done more with her life at twelve than i will probably ever accomplish in my whole life.

and by that i mean she was in a movie with kurt russell.

2.21.2006

i swear for reals, when i get moved into josh's place and we get the computer hooked up over there, hopefully maybe with hispeed of some sort, i will be all over the internets again. things just keep coming up.

p.s. join the rue crew, it's our favorite slutty golden girl's 71st birthday today!!!

2.18.2006

Loftus singer just had a school of rock moment, stage dived, and no one caught him. What a tard.

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

Note to self. The band loftus stinks.

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

2.16.2006

okay i have to apologize for my almost constant internet absence lately!! and that word absence looks weird, i may have spelled it rong but i'm too lazy to speel chek it. so there.

i'm flabbergasted at how crazy things have been lately - still trying to figure out where going to the gym fits in with my new work schedule. it seems so easy, back in long beach at 530 means there's plenty of time, but dude. after an hour of driving the last thing i want to do is go run on that crazy elliptically thingie and then pump iron like hulk hogan at muscle beach!

i keep hearing about this hats of meat website and i STILL haven't been to it, mostly because i'm a horrible girlfriend... speaking of lovely lady loves, happy belated valentines day to you all, and i hope freddy krueger filled all your dreams with blood and guts and candy hearts!

other news on the horizon... still hammering out a date for the calvert/lehman nuptials but as long as we can find a place it's lookin like an early november shindig, hopefully on the 11th. i think we should hire a clown. or a cowboy. or someone that at least does balloon animals so this thing isn't completely boring...

there's been no new art lately aside from what i'm doing at work. i need to start finding more time for that stuff. hopefully after the move.

oh yeah, i'm moving! seeing as we're gettin' hitched, seems like the right thing to do to save some dinero for the above listed gettin' married thing! which reminds me...

did i tell you josh and i are gettin' married?

am i weird for still calling him my boyfriend? fiancee is such a snooty word... i dunno, when i say it i feel like this self-centered jerk that should be wearing a shirt that says "ASK ME ABOUT MY WEDDING". not because i don't want to talk about it, understand. i'm extremely jazzed about the whole thing. but i'm not the kind of girl who demands that everyone drop everything and pay attention to her. i get people to pay attention to me in other ways. like kicking people in crotches. that gets em every time...

so yes. i'm moving, josh is awesome, fiancee is a word i'll probably work into my vocabulary because this is the only time in my life i'll ever get to use it in conjunction with that lovely man friend of mine i'm marrying...

if i become one of those girls, though, that only ever talks about getting married and the plans for the wedding, i want you to kick me in the crotch because that shit is annoying. i still have plenty of other interesting things to talk about, believe me. like the mouse that ran across my kitchen counter a little while ago, making me shit my pants in terror. see, that's a good story. even better is that mouse fell in love with the pirate painting i brought home from ffi, that i had sitting on my kitchen counter, and has been leaving poo behind it ever since i put it there three weeks ago. GROSS. my landlady's man friend, who used to work in pest control, instructed me to leave the painting there for now with the traps beside it so when the mouse comes back to poo there AGAIN he'll get caught. either he loves the painting or hates it. everyone's a critic, man. it made me feel much better to find out other apartments in this building are having a mouse problem, too, though. because i'm so not a filthy person. dirty bird, yes. filthy apartment, no. can't wait to get the hell out of here tonight. i still have the willies.

did i mention i'm moving? into josh's place? with no mice problems?

also in the news, i saw a little of dancing with the stars tonight and i hate myself for kind of liking it. understand, under normal circumstances i wouldn't watch it, but the oc's not on and neither are any of the nbc shows on account of the olympics...

speaking of the olympics, did i hear on the radio today that apollo ono stumbled on one of his skating events? the only thing i remember from the 2002 games is people making fun of his name after the 20-man pileup on the speed skating event - apollo OH NOOOOOOO!!!!! ahahahhahhhahha good times man, good times.

and apparently after a while, and this is important for you at-home screenprinters out there, if your squeegee gets old and soft you won't get crisp clear prints, you'll get ones that are way too light because it's not pushing enough ink through the screen because it's a mushy old squeegee. i found this out the hard way. yes that's right, two mentions of squeegees in under a week. impressive or scary, you be the judge!!!

and if you don't mind i'm gonna stop writing now, because my computer is next to the kitchen and i'm still getting the willies from the mouse sighting an hour ago. i think this big long post was trying to make up for the complete lack of posting lately.

i miss the internet.

sincerely,
steph lehman

Theres a fucking mouse in my kitchen!!! What the fuck!

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

2.10.2006

Can i tell you that the hb explorers are horrible at squeegeeing windows? Good lord!

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

2.09.2006

folks, just a heads up - due to circumstances beyond their control, the black dots will not be at the show on friday. the show is still going on, so if you bought tickets they're still good, the dots just won't be able to make it.

2.07.2006

Okay so bad mutual funder got a little jacked, but i think its salvageable. The rest turned out hott!

Work on new screenprinted tees continues...

2.05.2006

okay so it seems between the wonders of the text message and myspace and my big fat mouth, i've already told just about everyone on the planet... but if you didn't hear already, let me tell you the good news.

are you ready for it?

it's pretty awesome.



you should probably sit down.


are you sitting yet?

josh and i got engaged on friday night!

POW!!!

we were getting ready to get some dinner on friday night after i got outta work. and as we're kinda moving towards the door, getting ready to leave, puttin on jackets and all that crap, he says hey okay i have three questions for you! and i'm like uhhhhh okay go!

"the first question," he says, "is what does a stripper yell when you grab her ass when she's giving you a lap dance?" "HANDS!!!" i yell. (That is the best part of the movie go which we watched together a few months ago and have been laughing about ever since, much to the dismay of his mom...) and we go off on some other tangent, talking about something else for a second.

"wait, wait, wait you said you had other questions," i remind him. so he asks what the actual dinner plan was, were we going to the pike or macaroni grill. i say hey dude let's just do macaroni grill.

and then this ring just appears outta nowhere, and he says okay the third question is will you marry me?

i believe the first words outta my mouth were either OH MY GOD!!! or HOLY SHIT!!!! and then yes, of course, because he would've beat me if i declined. you understand, right? and then i was yelling and crap all the way out the door and down the stairs because holy crap!!! we're gettin' hitched!

i am sooooo effin' excited about all of this. i say effin' because classy married ladies don't swear. i read it in a fuckin' etiquette book i found at the goodwill store! pow!!! cheers to josh, the peachykeenest boy i know!

2.02.2006

allright dudes and dudettes, it's that time again.

you know, the time when i tell you to do something AND YOU DO IT!!!

the black dots have another show coming up, and if you're in the seal beach area you best be going! click on the little flier to see it full size, print it and be the envy of all your friends! spread the word, you dirty birds! CAW, CAW!!!