yesterday i got an email from jenn, saying someone put a phone number up on perez saying it was jared leto's, and that i should call and check it out.

so as any responsible young woman would do, i took a break from work and went outside with my cell phone for some good old-fashioned crank calling. the phone rang four times and went to voicemail, where i left the following:

"hello, jared leto? this is shaniqua. we went out last week and you never called me back. i think you're a jerk and a shmuck and i'm keeping your wallet!"

*****

a few hours later my cell phone rang, saying it was a private line. expecting to hear my sister michelle on the other end, i pick up and say "hey, what's up?"

a dude who sounded like he just woke up slurs together "whoissthis?"

"uhhhh, WHO IS THIS?" i shoot back.

"thisssischristiann" he mumbles, "did you call me?"

"uh... NO." i reply, "you've got the wrong number, dude."

and he doesn't hang up, just sits on the line trying to comprehend what is happening on the phone. so i hung up.

*****

it wasn't until four hours later that i put two and two together and got OH FUCK THAT WAS PROBABLY THE NUMBER I CALLED! dammit jenn that wasn't jared leto at all, it was just some dirty hippie pothead slob who wanted me to give him money!

the moral of the story kids is you should always, and i mean always, blindly call phone numbers given to you by your friends. that being said i hear ron perlman lives at (714) 903-4449, and you should probably give him a call.