hey danielle - jennifer lost the war is my favorite song off that self-titled cd. and i don't miss you at all because you blow goats and i have proof.

just kidding. you know the plan. just don't tell anyone cuz the wrong people could find out and that would be no bueno.

if you don't know what the hell i'm talking about email me and i'll go into further detail. perhaps i'll even draw a diagram of the usa if you're lucky.

you have cool band friends, too, i have to say.

now it's time to go hunting.

oh yeah, and check out charla on the paradise hotel home page. that's who sat next to me on the flight from lax to minneapolis. she tried to steal my window seat and wears too much makeup.

blogger is weird sometimes. and so's your mom.

it's funny how lack of sleep makes your body freak out, makes it really really want to get sick so you can have a couple of days to recouperate from the series of sleepness nights that were full of jacob yelling "mooooooooooom... muhmuh.....mah..... mamamamamama......muhmuh... mooooooooooom...muhwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."

seriously, it was kind of funny and sweet. the kid was up every hour on the hour for the last couple of nights of my vacation, pretending to be thristy (he put away four 8oz bottles of milk in four hours... no one drinks that much milk) so he could hang out with my sister michelle some more because he didn't see her a whole lot during the day. you gotta appreciate the effort.

but you're not here to learn about my sleepless nights. you're here to learn all the sordid details of all that was orange county-ness. here's what you missed by not stowing away in my now-possibly-too-beat-up-to-fly-again-army-bag (i'm warning you now, i haven't written in a week and i like to write so this is quite possibly the longest post EVER):

friday, 9/19: plane landed at LAX at 11ish pm. LAX, in case you haven't heard, smells like poo. for real. especially at night, when the air's damp. we got back to michelle and joe's place around midnight, and stayed up for another hour being dumb and smelling candle samples.

saturday, 9/20: (this just in - fanny and i have decided i'm going to have a football for a baby. details at eleven) Dennys. rode over with mom, met michelle and her kids at the restaurant, small mixup on locations so we missed the people we were supposed to meet. hung out at mom's place for a while after breakfast, talking to brandon and waiting for my sisters to come home from band, then left. took the kids to joe's parents place so we could get stuff together for the gubernatorial races and drinking that night. getting stuff together included buying candy smokes at the dollar store. tasty tasty smokes. with free tattoos inside.

the party was smaller than anticipated but every bit as drunken as it should have been. my sister michelle won almost hands down with her mary carey costume and stellar performance during the speeches. also in attendance was mr. schwarzie (with a really huge planet hollywood tattoo on his arm), gallagher (and his sidekick smashie), the gay activist guy (with the best lip gloss application ever seen on this planet or any other), the guy who makes porn movies (not larry flynt, that's magazines. not that i'm all in the know and shit... i don't even know the guys name...), and the train conductor guy (who took the time to put dirt on her face). seriously, it was some funny shit and even though only a few could make it, it's quality over quantity always. unless we're talking wiener nougats. i could eat a ton of that.

started dozing off on the couch in the middle of the party, because when i've had a lot, and i mean a lot to drink and i'm not actually doing anything i just fall asleep. gallagher tried to help by throwing a cup of water in my face.

sunday, 9/21: had to get up much much MUCH too early to go to the swap meet with michelle, danielle, and my mom. the best part of the swap meet was (this just in, i found something for a buck that i forgot to pass off to the partner in crime. this will be rectified shortly) the last aisle. because that's the sample aisle. and if you know anything about me, it's that i'm insane for free samples. especially those of the beef jerky or tea varieties.

picked up the kids from michelle's inlaws, and drove up to monrovia (which, i might add, is blissfully near chino and boys who steal cars and burn down houses) for madison's 8th birthday party. it was one of the coolest parties ever. EVER. put our little recall party to some serious shame. it was a rock star party - all of the 8 yr olds were encouraged to dress like they were rock stars. they got backstage passes so they could jump in the jumpy houses (which hailey and jacob didn't so much enjoy. they were more into the bucket of ice on the porch that held bottles of water. they weren't interested in the bottles of water. they just liked playing in the ice. best part of the party was the hair coloring station - a folding table that had every color wash-out hairspray stuff imaginable. had problems convincing hailey after her head was completely covered in red, pink, blue, purple, and green that she didn't have any more hair left to color. the worst part about the party was that it was outside, and monrovia's inland. which means it was 104 outside. that gets a big fat ick right there. but after that we went home, put on comfies, and fell asleep to another blessed viewing of american beauty.

monday, 9/22: michelle and joe had to work, so that morning i hung out with hailey and jacob and was subjected to the first of at least 10 to 15 viewings of fantasia 2000 that occured during my visit. seriously. TEN TO FIFTEEN TIMES I WATCHED FANTASIA 2000. in a week. if you've never seen proof that i'm a patient person that should be more than enough to argue the case. they should use it as a form of torture. that and being asked repeatedly to read the cat in the hat comes back. which, thankfully, i only had to do once. because once that book was done it was on to green eggs and ham, bears in the night, some crap about ten apples balancing on heads, and so on and so on. i love little kids. they just crack me up. i don't remember if it was on monday, but hailey and i were in the upstairs bathroom - she was on her potty chair (the non musical one) and i was fixing the big toilet. (yeah, don't get all impressed - the chain fell off the arm thingie) i finished my business, she finished hers, and we went downstairs and celebrated by dancing around the living room.

"i went potty!!!" she yelled.

"i fixed the toilet!!" i yelled.

"i'm a good girl!!!" she yelled.

"so am i!!!" i yelled.

cue record scratching. silence. hailey looks at me very sternly. "you're not a girl" she says.

"what am i?" i ask.

"you're stephanie!" she yells. and we resume celebrating.

michelle came home from work, and i left for lunch with ann. and was seriously impressed with how hard the law office's door was to open. we had what was quite possibly the best mexican food i've ever had anywhere. seriously. it was fucking good. it was so great to hang out with ann - we haven't gotten to do that in a really long time. i mean, we saw each other at sing sing the last time i was out there, but it's not the same when you're in the middle of a huge crowded bar and you're drunk. anyways, we promised to see each other again before the week was up (which unfortunately didn't happen, but there's always next time. and i hear the phone is an amazing invention... i'm gonna have to look into that.)

disney prom was monday night. they don't call it that in the character department - it's something like aphasaab or some shit like that, but i never ever spell it right and i have no idea what the letters in aphasaab stand for. but long story short it's a great excuse to get all dressed up and get completely smashed. michelle and i found out an important equation, which jen and i have decided will someday be a major selling point when we need extra cash. the equation goes like this:

michelle and steph wearing the crazy handmade prom dresses + lots o' alcohol = seeing some stranger's ween

not a bad equation to be a part of, except that i missed said ween this time. and that's okay.

even though this disney prom was no where near as good as the one i went to 3-4 years ago, it was still good fun. pissed me off that i met another cool guy that i can't go out with because i don't live there.

the amazing thing about disney prom was the amount of alcohol consumed and then the amount of drunk i was. which was almost zip. it seems weird to inventory the consumption, but seriously - i'm a lightweight. and i find it really fuckin odd that a beer, a wine cooler, about 4oz of rum, another rum-based mixed drink, another beer, and another rum-based drink was not enough to get me even close to drunk. i have no idea what was up with that but it was frustrating. because i wanted to be drunk. because drunk is fun sometimes. most times. all the time. i'm alcoholic. wheeeeeee.

tuesday, 9/23: seriously, i can't belive you're still reading this shit. but hey, let's continue. no hangover tuesday because no drunky night before. drove up to the glendale galleria for lunch with jen and was astounded that holy shit there was rush hour traffic at 11am. apparently the freeways were all jacked up because of a truck explosion that happened on the 710 that morning. got to the mall like an hour later than planned, had really really good sammiches and conversation (which they call convo now in the cosmopolitan magazine. and that word will never feel natural to me.), and made further plans for cartoony goodness wednesday night. continued wandering around the galleria with michelle after jen went back to work, and then we made way for the strand in hermosa beach, where lori's grandparents lived. michelle and lori were throwing a home and garden party. it was not nearly as bad as i anticipated, and was actually lots of fun because as you might have guessed my sister is insane. more so when she's selling something. i joined the bakestone cult and ordered one. we also made some more cartoony type plans with people at the party. (i keep bringing it up, i must be leading up to something.) took pch home. pch is the greatest street ever. EVER.

wednesday, 9/24: after michelle got done with work we made way for the circle in old town orange, where we went through lots of great antique stores looking at lots of great old shit. totally overpriced, but great all the same. lots of good times to be had. tried a couple of thrifty type stores, but no. seems the thrift stores in the oc are not so great. hmmm.

thursday, 9/25: drove michelle to work and then stole her car and drove down westminster - got some really terrible customer service at best buy, and the new outkast at target. advanced token to main street in huntington beach, strolled down the pier. paused to watch the surfers more than a few times (this just in - it's late and i'm sleepy). ate a really great burger at ruby's at the end of the pier, stopped to watch the surfers some more on the way back. wandered into the vintage clothing store i'd been curious about for so long and found out that while the selection is freakin' rad, the prices suck. wandered through some more stores, and went back to the car. drove around to see places in hb and westminster that i hadn't seen in a while. found out they ruined the goodwill store in my old neighborhood by turning it into one of the more upscale goodwills, with not much selling for less than 5 bucks. and tons of polka records. i mean TONS.

friday, 9/26: uh.... what did i do friday?

..............

um...

uh......

oh shit, i went to disneyland that day! i drove michelle to work so i could have her car if i needed it, and on the way there she asked what i was doing while she was working. i told her i'd probably go back to the house, take a shower, and then watch some trashy daytime tv or something. so she offered to get me into dland for free. which is tons better than sitting on the couch. even if thunder mountain was closed for investigation and space mountain was closed for renovation and the haunted mansion was closed for nightmare before christmas transformations. i almost threw up in joy when i saw the pieces shag had done for disney's celebration of the tiki room's 40th anniversary. picked up some notecards that will someday be framed. the cashier recognized my name; apparently i had gone to dance lessons with her daughter back in the day. i didn't remember her but said i did because it seemed like the nice thing to do.

the park was pretty empty - got my very own boat on pirates of the carribean for the first time ever in i don't know how many visits i've made to dland over the years... got on the matterhorn twice in under 20 minutes. so much room to breathe. i went to mickey's house in toontown, hoping i'd get emptied out into sorcerer mickey's place so i could see PR (jen, ask me about this, you'll die laughing), but was instead put into another room and decided it wasn't worth the effort it took to keep going through the house until i got the right room at the end. as i passed minnie's house i started wondering who was inside all the character costumes i kept seeing, so i called my sister and left a voicemail saying as much. did some more wandering, and found myself at disney's california adventure, which was about the same as i'd remembered. it's really really pretty, but there's not much behind any of it. i don't know if that makes sense... i had more on it but the stoopid puter crashed and it's late and i so need to be sleeping right now.... talked to my sister on the celly while my stomach settled after the california screaming coaster, and she mentioned that keith was the minnie back at minnie's house, and madeline was poop over in frontierland. so i made way for dland again, and stood in line for 30 minutes to get a truly cheezy autograph from the guy in the dress with the great legs. didn't make it over to frontierland to see madeline; michelle was done with work and i was beat.

what went on that night... we did something... there was a reason we couldn't do fancypants dinner. hm. whatever it was i'm sure it was great. maybe i was drunk? why can't i remember?

oh fuck friday night was the football game. i promised brittanie and danielle i'd go to their football game and watch their first halftime show of the football season.

i passed for a highschooler that night. not once, but twice.

keep in mind i'm twenty six years old.

the game wasn't at cypress high because they don't have a stadium at the school. so i went to western and couldn't tell right away where i was supposed to go. so i followed the groups of highschoolers that were heading towards the school. and i almost walked through this doorway when a 50something stopped me.

"we're not ready for you yet" he says.

which is confusing, because according to my watch the game's been going for a couple of minutes. so i say "uh.. what?"

"you're here for the dance, right?" he says.

"um.... i'm here to watch my little sisters play in their high school band at a football game." i reply.

he tells me to go around the building and down the alley. found my sisters, and met some of their friends. just shot the shit for a while, then everyone got up to go warm up for halftime. leaving me alone. and also leaving this boy a few rows in front of me alone. we start chatting. he reminded me so much of justin. justin on a good day. it kind of made me hopeful that things are going okay for him in minnesota. the kid and i talk some more, very small talk about how collosally cypress' football team sucks.

"so, do you go to cypress?" he asks.

"uh... i'm twenty six." i say.

"HOLY CRAP!!! NO WAY!!!! OH MY GOD, YOU'RE TWENTY SIX!?!?!?! YOU TOTALLY LOOK LIKE A HIGHSCHOOLER!!!" was the answer i got from him. we kept talking (and i swear to god he kept flirting with me... it's funny that i have much more luck with the high school boys now that i've been out of high school for almost 10 years.) and about 20 minutes later 2 high school girls come over and talk to my new boyfriend and sound very jealous that he'd rather stay and talk to me than go sit with them. i'd say yay me except hmmmm... he was 16. and, as it turns out, he's in one of brittanie's classes. kinda ew.
went home and gave in to the power of the tea. (something we did a LOT last week.)

saturday, 9/27: very lax day. i mean very lax. hung with the kids (and watched fantasia 2000 again) while michelle was at work. afterwards we hooked up with the friends we were supposed to see at dennys the week before and it was great - haven't seen the eberhardts in much much much too long. got to catch up some and meet kathy's fiancee again and talk about wedding plans and rehash how the job's going and where kids we knew in grade school are now...

anyways, after that we went to mom's house to hang with brittanie and danielle. played risk with danielle because no one else wanted to deal with how dumb we are when we play that game. got my ass kicked. stoopid smurf army.

went home to eat really good dinner a la joe and watch really shitty movie a la michelle and steph. all i can say is killer party should've been a little more killer, a little less filler. (ahahahahaha, i love that) it was so bad i fell asleep. not because i was comfy. not because i was drunk. because it was a fucking stoopid movie and i was bored.

sunday, 9/28: more laxness - quiet morning filled with nightmare before xmas and reading dr. seuss to the kids. i really hate it when i have to tell hailey i'm leaving. her face makes me want to call kathy and tell her i quit. seriously. it always kills me to leave the neice and nephew. i'm always afraid they're gonna forget me by the next time i come back.

the flight back was mostly uneventful... apparently the girl sitting next to me from lax to minneapolis was on paradise hotel... yeah, i didn't think you cared, either. she seemed like a jerk, so i didn't ask for any autographs of the derogatory kind.

got back much too late, had to get up much too early. and now it's late again so i can't continue anymore. like you're reading anyways. nuts to you squirrell, i'm going to bed. more on my magical neice and nephew sometime. they were a huge high point of the trip. i'd like to say it's absolutely wonderful to be back... but... you know.... go to bed.

being back sucks.

details of the oh-so-fabulous being gone shenanigans to come...

being forced to be more ergonomic sucks.

why can't they make me more aerodynamic instead?

also, if you haven't gotten on the goodwill party train for some ungodly reason you need to go. now. menasha's has a billion racks of supergreat dresses for the halloween festivities.

i'm not telling you what i'm going to be. but i'm going to have to make a hat.

i do think it would be funny some year to get together a huge group of ladies and all of them would be dressed as mrs. roper. like 30 women all wearing 70s housedresses and big jewelry and trying to get some.

seriously, i have got to get a fisher price record player needle like RIGHT NOW.

i freaking hate bees. especially bees that love soda. soda that's in my purse. or was. now it's in the parking lot of the grocery store.

you win this time, bees. you jerks.

the boss is out of town and i have no idea what i'm supposed to be working on.

so instead of working i'll tell you about the high point of my day yesterday. be ready to rock.

i was sitting on the couch, finally watching barbarella for the first time (if you haven't seen it you should, but be ready for a movie chock full of 60s t&a. the funny thing is it's got a pg rating, which would never fly by today's standards.) and about 45 minutes or an hour into it i hear a very small voice outside yelling "hey bitch! open your door!!!"

i let jen in and she's got bags full of treasures from goodwill, including some german children she adopted. also including a sweet dress for her halloween costume. but most of all, including the exact same poo brown fisher price record player i told her i had when i was like 5. and it was for me. and she bought me a record. not just any record, mind you. it was the full lentgh diana ross album "to love again". why is this superfuckingrad? because when michelle and i were kids for some reason we each had a 45 single with diana ross' "it's my turn" on it. and for some reason we loved that song to death. especially when we slowed the record down to 33rpm and made her sound like she was dying. ANYWAYS, "it's my turn"? on the record jen bought me. because jen's the raddest rad that ever radded.

seriously. when she pulled that shit outta the bag it was like one of the episodes of "trading spaces" where they come back to their room and it's all screams and shit. i bet my neighbors loved that.

other high points to yesterday: nothing that compares to a brand new record player. the other cool thing about record players is for music junkies it's golden - you can get billions of records for a buck each at goodwill.

oh - and yesterday i did some laundree. and saw an art show. it was cool, i thought - the only thing i really could have done without was the professer's ceramics. denny's pieces were really cool, pots and podpeople alike, and i dug professorguy's abstracty paintings. really nice use of bright happy color. and the brownies were to die for. and i got to bed way too late from volleeballs and then looking for record player needles online.

and now i'm paying the price. so sleepee. the end.

okay, i'd like to think i'm pretty with it... but how the hell did i miss my boyfriend writing a book?!!?

raise your hand if you want to be at work today.

you in the back, with your hand up - get out. we don't want your kind here.

oh man, i have to say the oc's been raised up to boston public status in my brain. they had a "if you or someone you know is having problems with overwhelming feelings of lonliness blah blah blah call blah blah blah" at the end of tonight's episode.

now that they've presented me with this new reason to be completely addicted, how the hell am i supposed to last until the next episode in october?!?

okay, so here's the thing. when i'm really excited or antsy to do something, lots of other little stoopid things piss me off because i just want friday to get here so i can go to the airport and hang out in the oc with all the brooding boys from chino that hang out in newport, stealing cars and burning down houses and romancing debutantes. here's a list of the truly stoopid things that i've gotten upset about over the past few days:

1) the whole tape thing. you know you got tired of it quick. so did i. which is why i stopped writing about it. until now. but i'm not really writing about it, i'm actually writing about how it pissed me off unnecessarily. i finally did find the right tape - art haus let me return unstickyness and i bought same tape, different brand (infinitely stickier - 3m sure does know it's tape) at race. both art stores are still too small.

2) website code. finally figured it out with the help of one of my old animation teachers from scad. got a huge chunk of it done.

3) moving back to ca in a couple of years. in a couple of years. i have no business getting upset about all the intricacies of finding a job and moving right now. duh.

4) the vote for schwarzie shirt (hey, that'd be a cute slogan above a jpeg stolen from the internet, don't you think?). did the heatseal at work today, put it on at home and got really pissed off at how high i put it. got over that in a while, though, when i pulled the front of the shirt down so the art'd be where it was supposed to and found out if i'd done it low like that it would've been like HELLO ROCKETS! if you know what i mean. you don't? yeah, well, too bad for you. so i'm fine with the shirt now.

5) i was all set to post the lyrics from julie brown's "cuz i'm a blond" tonight because i dyed my hair. but i got all pissed when it was nowhere near as light as i was hoping for. it's not bad. it actually is pretty close to what was on the box. but it's more light light brown than anything. i like it, but better luck next time, i say. (upside to the blond experiment - which will stay put until the next haircut because i kinda like it - is that the final formula for a close enough haircut from leslie has been found. it's wait 9 weeks between haircuts and then ask her to cut off all the haircolor.)

so yeah. i'm stressing out and i don't need to and i know it and the fact that i'm stressing out pisses me off. i think i'm just trying to fit too much in before vacation. i don't know why. i'm dumb. the remedy is to take a couple of days before going back just doing absolutely nothing at night after work but hang out and just chill. this includes watching the oc and nip/tuck tonight.

and to set the record straight for everyone that isn't jen, i personally didn't know anyone in high school that went to tiajuana for the weekend before school was back in session. "you aren't rich, though" was jenn's explanation. makes sense.

if you're watching that fucking horrible "performing as" crap that's on fox right now i feel your pain. because i'm watching it too. because tonight i'm feeling too lazy to go get the remote. plop.

3 days til i get to see hailey's magical musical potty chair in person. when you go to this link, you gotta turn the sound way up on your computer and click on the demo button. personally i think fisher price is out of control.

real quick, cuz i'm supposedly working...

i'm listening to the new postal service cd and the first song is called "the district sleeps alone tonight". and there's a part in there where they're saying "dc sleeps alone tonight" but i swear every time i hear the song i hear "tc sleeps alone tonight" and it cracks me up. because when i was in grade school there was a kid we all called tc. because those were his initials.

later we started calling him pw because he came to my little sister's first birthday party in a very pee wee herman looking gray suit.

not much later than that the letters pw didn't stand for pee wee anymore, they stood for something much worse. because we were in 6th grade, and we were all perverts.

just 2 quick things before i go to bed.

1) being sick is stoopid, and whoever invented it should be shot.

2) the jack grisham shirt went over so well i'm taking more tshirt transfers back to cali with me. i should freakin' sell the stuff.

3) i'm going to bed. go away.

michelle sucks, pass it on.

how 'bout some more cal gov paraphernalia for that ass?

a friendly reminder that all the art i publish on here is stuff that i gots da copyrights to; if i catch you bootlegging the shit i'll beat you down like the red-headed stepchild i am. even if i do change my haircolor next week. i don't care. just don't steal, that shit ain't cool.

like you'd wanna run off with it anyways. plop.

fyi: i'm going as mr. schwarzenegger for the party. it's an excuse to wear this shirt and use kindergarten cop quotes all night.

i've been crazy-super productive this weekend - got a huge chunk of the website done, cloned my dickies bag, saw point break for the first time... i love that they said something about going to "patrick's road house" in that movie. funny funny shit. worked on some small projects that have been on the back burner lately (including the piece of haha you see here). burned some cds for the siblings. oh yeah, and bought a copy of the postal service's cd. if you don't have it you should. it's great music for driving around in oshkosh rain or for partys of the madison kind.

now's the time on sprockets when we eat dinner and watch barbarella for the first time ever. i hope it's as campy and fun as i'm imagining.

possibly one of the best movie quotes ever:

"you think you're too cool for school. but i've got a news flash for you, walter cronkite.

(pause)

(more pause)

(dear god please break the silence you can cut the tension with a butter knife)

you aren't."

50 points to you if you can name that movie and who said it.

movie rule 758: if you notice something weird going on, put on a pair of glasses, go to the library, and look at the crazy microfiche machines. (is that what they're called? i think i'm getting the machine i'm thinking of mixed up with something else. i better go investigate on the oshkosh public library's microfiche machine.)

i'm going to make dinner right now, just wanted to say i have almost an entire section of the website up and running. go check out my scribbles! DO IT!!!!!

and tom beatty's the bomb-diggity with the flash, yo. we be in the process of figuring out my code issues.

work on the psychological issues is another story.

so yesterday was a bad day to be named john.

ritter and cash's passings make me sad.

now for the latest on our top story: the oshkosh tape shortage.

went to race at lunch, looked at their tape and found they have screenprinting supplies. but no fabric ink. that will have to be shipped in from rancho cucamonga, i think. went across the street to art haus, but they were closed. went back to work.

that big local art show katie and i tried to see on sunday was also closed during open hours today. i swear it closed down but they got lazy and left all the signs up. went to art haus again. it's more like an art closet, really. but it did have tape. like 4 different kinds. all in shrinkwrap, so you really couldn't tell how sticky or how thick it was or anything like that. i bought a roll of white "artists tape" that looked like it could possibly fit the description of what i need.

went to the car, drove to the gym.

out of curiosity, cracked open the tape before going into the gym.

it was the least sticky tape EVER.

went back to art haus after psychobutt class, but they closed at 6 so no dice. i hope they'll do my return tomorrow even though i opened the tape and used like an inch and a half of it to test it.

and seriously folks, it's not that big a deal. i don't hate the city today. i'm still mildly annoyed, though. it just shouldn't be this fucking hard to find the right art supplies. that's all. i'm trying some other alternatives suggested by jen and adam this weekend, hopefully with better results.

and i should be working on the website, not writing, so i'm gonna get back to it. the end.

a brief update: i think the code problem may be taken care of very soon. it's about damn time, that's all i have to say.

okay, so normally i try to be very openminded about being in a smallish city in wisconsin. and while there are certain distinct disadvantages to being here, i respect that it's many people's home so i don't like to rip on it in super public forums.

this is one of those few times i'll go back on that and say i'm completely frustrated with this city. in fact, tonight i quite possibly hate this fucking place. i'm sure once i get a good night's sleep that'll change.

but back to why i'm pissed in the first place.

tonight i cracked open the new screenprinting kit and started reading the directions. found out that the ink included was for printing on paper, wood, and so on... not fabric. you need additional supplies for that. no matter, i thought. i'll just screw around with some stuff on paper, get a feel for the process before going to town making mad crazy shirts and such. but you need good quality masking tape to do that - it's a slightly heavier nicer quality than the regular masking tape you'd find at the mart of wal, something you could pick up at just about any arts and crafts store. threw some pants and shoes on, left everything in my house on, because i was just running to the hobby lobby for a second...

got there and no dice. no fabric ink for screenprinting, which is fine because that's a little much for a hobby/craft store to carry. but no tape. which i thought was weird. no tape anywhere. of any kind. i asked some guy who scratched his head for a while before directing me to the front of the store where they had heavy duty packaging tape, the kind with strings on it. i was a little annoyed that i had to drive down the street to ben franklin, but i figured hey, whatever, the night is young.

but when ben franklin didn't have anything either i got really pissed. i know there's race art store on main street, but everything that's not a bar on main shuts down at like 5pm, so i figured even if i drove all the way over there they wouldn't be open because it was more like 8pm. and if i get there tomorrow and they don't have like 4 different kinds of artsy type tape i'm going to be supremely pissed, and will possibly start looking to move. now. for the love of tape.

i know it seems like such a small deal. i realize it's just tape. but dammit, i shouldn't have to drive an hour away to get to a good art grocery store. it really puts a damper on the "hey! i'm jazzed because i'm gonna spend the night making some cool crazy art!" while i'm back in california i will be making a special trip to pearl art and craft (next to golden west college on edinger for those of you who want to go to art supply heaven) so i can get a couple of things that i probably won't find at race tomorrow.

things like fabric ink for screenprinting. and tape. arrrrrrrrrrrr.

and one more thing - completely unrelated, but still really fucking annoying. i finally bit the bullet and posted my actionscripting problem on actionscript.org's forum today, and two different people answered. just one sentence each.

in german.

how the fuck does that help my programming problem, when my posting in english very clearly suggests i'd like an answer in the same damn language?!!?!

jerks.

i feel like i've got so many things to do and none of it's getting done.

except for plans for the "come as a cali. gov. candidate" party my sister and i are having when i go back to cali. sweet sweet cali. those plans are coming along quite nicely.

psssst, over here. i have a secret.

my pants smell like pepperoni.

danielle: keep checkin' your mailbox - your california recall propaganda (pictured above) is on its way.

michelle: how 'bout a new blog, asshole? it's been 2 months.

the rest of you: i was too busy doing this tonight, so this is all you get. plooooooo.

i just got an email offering me a "manly upgrade", which i'm taking to mean "bigger ween".

thanks but no thanks.

of special interest to kat - the upside of being in california for earthquakes instead of other places for other natural disasters is that california's got really good building standards... as long as it's not a freakishly huge 6.8 quake, buildings and such pretty much stay put and not a whole lot of people get hurt.

and you should get on the commenting code party train. i can't remember what service i signed up through because i r stoopid, but if you go to blogger's q&a i used one of their recommended ones. so there. ploo.

i don't wanna work, i just wanna lay on my desk all day.

oh son of a bitch, the post i just did got wasted when i accidentally closed the window. let's see how much i can remember.

maria's the smartest girl i know outside of murder she wrote. thanks to her you can now tell me right here in the comfort of my blog how much you despise my atrocious foot odor and love of michael jackson's thriller album. she also is good for giving me new perspectives of things - some are ones that i used to have but shelved out of anger and frustration.

it was actually kind of a long post, and i'm kinda ticked that i deleted it. because i wanna go work on that drawing i'm doing for kathy.

but i have to say that edsel's show was totally sweet, and there were many, many of us that wanted what my boss bought for her daughter.

after the show jen and i drove down to madison and got home way way way way way way way too late. (like 330am or something) but hot damn what a good time.

so cheers to: driving in the way-too-poufy-for-it's-own-good skirt, finding williamson street at night, the madison crowd and thier not-axe-murdererness, the excellent music in attendance, the dance dance revolution master and his good-sportedness, his friend neo, smoking crack and huffing paint and popping pills and doing smack, peeing in fear, delicious cookies and splendid rum punch in coke bottles, how much lia and mercy reminded me of my sister and i's antics, yelling big lebowski quotes and british swears and general randomness while sitting on a swell-covered futon with the redfaced jamie that jen swears is my clone, quarter bet dancing, the supercute boy who actually said more than two sentences to us as we were getting ready to leave at 2am, and being strangely alert for the entire drive home.

and cheers to more get togethers in the future.

not cheers to the local art show that's been going on for a few weeks now that has hours posted both on the website and all over the actual building but was closed during said hours today. no matter, katie and i are trying again thursday night.

that's it, that's all you get. there was more but i'm too lazy to type it. so there.

testing, testing, 1,2,3,4

the silliest things are always the most fun, remember that - went out with jen last night walking around oshkosh looking for college keg parties to crash. and while we found many houses with a couple kids hanging out outside and millions more kids just roaming the streets aimlessly, we found no parties whatsoever. this seems wrong - it's the first week of school, no one's bogged down by homework just yet... seems like the perfect time to boogie down. but no. nothing. after over an hour of walking and pretending to run surveillance on random boys, we ended up at molly's, then the french quarter, then oblios. then home. and while i wish there had been more going on, just wandering aimlessly was pretty great, too. in like a month and a half it'll be too cold to do that. fucking winter. yarrrrrgh.

but there's less than two weeks til californianess. yay!

speaking of that i have got to get cracking on the painting i'm doing for this friend of mine's wedding next year - i'm supposed to have a pretty finished drawing to bring back with me so we can discuss and i can start something more final... maria, i also haven't forgotten about you... i have way too many projects to work on at one time. i gotta get on that, then maybe someday i'll have a show of my own. but first i have to actually finish some shit. that will truly be an amazing feat of strength.

this is my new favorite quickie dinner - pay attention, it's super complicated.

cook some noodles.
while you're doing that start heating a can of those tomatoes that come with flavored juice, like oregen basil something something - add all the fresh veggies in your veggie drawer and then some of those herbs you got growing on the windowsill.

throw it all together.

eat. refill bowl. eat some more.

i made a pact with my sister danielle last night that when the offspring break up we're gonna get together that night and get drunk together while listening to old offspring cds. it's inevitable - they've been talking about it for a little while, and ron's left, but we've probably got like 5 years. which works out good for danielle, seeing as she's only 16 right now. if they end sooner than that we'll be in trouble.

one more thing. why isn't there more of a variety of things to do here in the big wis? 50 points to the best answer. and go see edsel's show that opens tomorrow. the end.

i don't make a habit of this, but seeing as it is my anniversary (and jen's pseudo-ann):

dehdohdee2: you know what the true meaning of class is?

Swirlogirl: rhymes with ass?

dehdohdee2: wearing your anniversary bgosh bandana as a diaper while you eat a cookie and drink warm sparkling cider from your new bgosh mug.

Swirlogirl: HHAHAHAA

dehdohdee2: and you're dancing on your trail mix package

Swirlogirl: man that cookie rocked

dehdohdee2: i swear it was the best fucking cookie ever

Swirlogirl: i like gorged on that shit when i got home

dehdohdee2: i didn't want it to end

There was more, much more, but it's strictly confidential.

happy anniversary to me, happy anniversary to me, i smell like a monkey and i have to pee.

that's right suckas, i've been at bgosh for a year. which means no more worrying about losing the gig and having to pay back the relocation. which also means i get a box of treasures befitting my pirateness, including a new do-rag but excluding hundreds of gold dubloons.

i bet the doubloons are the gift for year two of service.

You know why I love the Ebay? It's things like this, which according to quite a few online art supply stores should have cost almost twice as much.

Stay tuned for crazy homemade tshirts and crap.

P.S. - I'm still looking for a good explanation of the loadMovie actionscripting in Flash. Help me or I'll kill you. The end.

i'm working, i really am...

but do you ever have those days when you have happy songs about snacks running through your head? because you could really go for some snacks?

snacks snacks snacks snacks snacks candy snacks corn!

I totally just thought of one of the coolest things just now - it's already less than 3 weeks until oc-ish goodness!

I can't see my latest change to my website on my home computer, so you Flash-code gurus should go there (hint: it's the link to the left) and click on the scribbles star. The first button on the bottom, yellowy happyface guy - when you click it the full image is supposed to load, but nothing's happening on my puter at home. It should look something like what happens when you click on the next 2 buttons, but those 2 buttons have embedded images and doing all of the images like that would make the website too big.

So if it's not working, my question is this: how do you set up the loadMovie function action script so it works? Explain using simple terms - I'm a simple girl and not a coding genius type.