hearts and laserbeams book report: skinny bitch

when we got to the airport on the way home from our savannah trip this new years, i realized that i had zero reading material for the 6+ hours of travel ahead of us. i ducked into the airport book shop to see what they had in store for me, and came out with skinny bitch.

i am a new year's statistic; before picking up this book i'd planned to make this the year i actually start taking better care of myself with workin out and eating better and not drinking soda anymore, etc etc etc. couple that with the fact that it was slim pickin's at this partcular airport bookstore and that this book was the only one that looked like it would be remotely interesting to me, and there you go.

and without further ado...

hearts and laserbeams book report: skinny bitch by rory freedman and kim barnouin

this book, i have to admit, started out strong. it's billed as a no-nonsense approach to getting healthier and eating better and blah blah blah, and the first few chapters really do deliver some good information on reasons you should and shouldn't eat certain things. thanks to the first few chapters i will probably stop drinking soda alltogether.

as you get further into skinny bitch, it turns into full-on vegan propoganda, featuring all the reasons we were never meant to eat meat, a chapter on slaughterhouses, how you're a fuckin stupid a-hole if you ever eat this stuff...

and it just snowballs from there. once it starts on the VEGAN OR DIE message it does not fucking shut up, just keeps going on and on about all the conspiracies surrounding the fda and how the completely animal-products free lifestyle is the only way to be unless you wanna be a murderer, you dont want that do you?

here's some of the problems i have with the book - number one, the entire thing is written to make you feel completely shitty about yourself and it WORKS. for about 4 days after reading it i really actually felt like an a-hole every time i ate something this book said was terrible. number 2, there are messages in the book that are flawed - they basically believe that there are only two kinds of eaters out there as far as animals are concernec, meat or veggie eaters - and that since we have flat teeth and no claws we are not supposed to be eating meat and we're fucking with nature every time we do. BUT; why do we have incisors and such in the front of our mouths - y'all are forgetting about omnivores, and that doesn't fit into the meat is murder message so i understand why ya left it out. they make it sound like if you don't buy your fruits and veggies organic-style you are fucked because it's gonna kill you.

AND their main way of helping you to become a vegan is to gross yourself out every time you eat something, like thing of all the shitty ingredients the thing contains, think of something that will make you vomit, and then don't eat that thing. that is an AWFUL way to eat.

basically the book sucked ass and i would not recommend it to anyone. it is the only book i've ever read in my 31 years that ended up in the trash:



also, one of the things josh and i talked about after i read this was that you gotta keep in mind that it was written by a former model and a former model agent - models aren't supposed to eat anything at all, so it's basically a how-to guide for someone who only wants to eat the bare minimum to survive and not actually ever really enjoy food. eff that shit.

so i will not be following much, if any, of what this book suggests. i will from now on only buy cage-free eggs and milk that says it's got no horomones in it, and eat more fruit and veggies. but i will also continue enjoying cheese and ice cream and coffee and salmon and hamburgers and steak and french fries and non-organic veggies and fruits because dammit who can afford to buy EVERYTHING organic??! not in this economy thank you very much! i am much happier enjoying my food than worrying about every single solitary thing i eat and giving up shit i love.

and that's that. we at hearts and laserbeams do not recommend or endorse this book and if you read it please promise us to have a big ol ice cream sundae afterwards!

ratings
1 hearts: it did make me eat more fruits and veggies i aint gonna lie to you

4 farts: if i start to tell you all the things i hated about this book i will get all pissed off again so just don't read it.