the hearts and laserbeams blog!

recently blogger decided we can't publish my blog to my own website anymore so here we are! pardon the dust, and please visit us online at www.heartsandlaserbeams.com!

hearts and laserbeams is the wacky good-times art and design by me, steph calvert. i team up with robots, cupcakes, and stick people to show people art isn’t all about seriousness, missing ears, and deep thoughts; it can actually be tons of fun.

8.25.2008

who wants an original one of a kind painted skate deck?

i had the good fortune of being able to participate in the latest ism community group art show - for this one, everyone painted blank skate decks! the show's in long beach right now, but will travel to san diego soon to be displayed there as well.

AND, if you would like to be kind enough to buy one of these decks, (or more! )the online auction is live now! a few words from ISM on how your purchase helps the community:

"Contributing artists and professional skaters are donating their creative deck canvases to raise awareness and resources in an effort to support Now That You Know, a non-profit organization that helps to provide ambitious girls from developing countries a secure environment for learning and growth. Proceeds will also contribute to benefiting the youth of our society through the artistic enrichment of our community."

and now, without further ado, check out those skate decks! be sure to take a look at work by me, steph calvert, along with good friends melissa contreras, juan rodriguez, and brian viveros!



my dog hates the rain

acrylic

starting bid: $100

enjoy, and thanks for looking!

steph

man on wire, steph on fire!

ok kids i have a seriously awesome movie recommendation for you!

whether you know or not, the art theater around the corner from josh and i closed down back in march or april, i think it was. it was a total bummer, cuz number 1 it was within 5 minutes walking distance, and number 2 it was just a really cool old theater with a couple of cool old dudes runnin it.

it was touch and go for a while - we had heard the last time we were there that it was closing for renovations, and then there was a "thanks for the memories" type message on the marquee right after it closed up shop and we were all WAIT THAT LOOKS VERY FINAL!!! and then a month or two later after it had been boarded up we saw one of those public notices for a liquor license for a wine bar, with an angry message scrawled across it from a passerby about how this street doesn't need another hipster establishment bring back the art theater!

so FINALLY, this last weekend, the art theater reopened! with a wine bar AND coffee bar attached! and the place is downright gorgeous. allegedly they spent about a million bucks on renovations on this place that's been there since the 20s and it shows. effing beautiful art deconess everywhere! it has that new-car smell!

josh and i went last night and say "man on wire" (this is an indie movie house, mind you!) and we both generally HATE documentaries but this one was the bombdiggity. it was all about this dude who strung up a highwire between the twin towers in new york in the 70s, and how he spent about 45 minutes walkin on the highwire before he came down and was arrested.

everything about this movie was just really cool. listening to this dude phillipe talk about how they planned, practiced and executed the scheme was amazing. it was a lot like listening to josh's uncle donnie tell a story - it just was really really good, like life aquatic good. like a weekend without boys good. like taking your shoes off at the end of the day good.

so if you're in long beach, go see the movie at the art theater. and if you're not in long beach, you can suck it!

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8.17.2008

baby come back!!

OMG i can't help it every one of those new swiffer commercials with the mop or broom tryin to woo the nnew swiffer user back with that "baby come back" song leaves me laughing my ass off!

also, i kinda can't help but enjoying every jingle on the freecreditreport.com commercials. what i'm trying to say folks is i may watch too much tv, the end!

8.13.2008

what the auf!!!

this morning when the alarm went off i was in the middle of a dream where i was a last-minute contestant on project runway, and because i was just kinda thrown in there at the last minute i was completely unprepared for it and did HORRIBLE, but the producers kept me on the show because it was awesome comic relief!

8.11.2008

hearts and laserbeams how-to #1: sisterhood of the pocketed pants!

Hearts and laserbeams how-to 1: sisterhood of the pocketed pants
Well here it is, the first in hopefully a series of how to make/fix/cook/punch stuff! I'll include pictures, drawings and diagrams where I can, and if ya want more info you're absolutely welcome to ask for it! If you try the tutorials I'd love feedback on how easy/difficult the directions were to follow, and hows about sendin me some pics of what you did with it!

Today we're talking pants pockets. As I said in an earlier post, one of my pet peeves is jeans pockets that are nowhere deep enough to hold things! Found some good pants recently that I couldn't pass up because they actually fit right AND weren't so low-rise my crotch was hanging out. Alas, the pockets were awful! I could put my phone in the pocket, but it always felt like it was gonna fall out and it looked weenery, something that classy ladies just aren't into. And me, I'm a super classy broad.

So here it is in detail, all you ever wanted to know about making your pants pockets deeper but were afraid to ask! (including some pics of the first pair I did that turned out a little off, resulting in THE DEEPEST PANTS POCKET EVER CREATED!!!

How to make deeper pockets for your spanky new pants!

you will need:
* new pants with pockets that aren't deep enough
* old pair of pants with pockets you like (for making the pattern)
* piece of paper big enough to draw your pocket pattern on and a pencil or pen to draw the pattern
*scissors
*needle and thread or sewing machine
* fabric – the amount and kind depends on you – if you're making massive pockets you'll need more fabric than if you're making standard sized pockets, and maybe you want to use something in a fun print! Take a look at the pockets you'll be using as a pattern, and use that as your guide on how much fabric you'll need. Remember you're making 2, and get a little bit extra so you've got room for cutting and sewing. I'd recommend a heavier cotton for the material, but lightweight quilting-type cottons would probably be fine, too, if you reinforce your seams (by sewing them twice!).

step 1: make the pocket pattern!
1. Turn your new pants (with the pockets you hate!) inside out.

2. Notice there's already some front pocket on those pants. You'll need that too-short pocket to attach the new pocket to. Hold your piece of paper so the top edge is ½" above the end of the too-short pocket. Using the edges of the original pocket as a guide, draw the edges of the pocket for as long as you'd like your pocket to be. (if you've got another pair of pants with pockets you like you can use those as a guide.) then connect the sides by drawing a curve at the bottom to match the bottom of the current too-short pocket.



3. Add ½" around the entire outline for cutting and sewing.

4. Make some marks on your pattern piece so you remember what's going where when you're cutting your fabric – check out my example here, remembering it's not to scale!



step 2: sew the new pockets!
1. Cut 2 pockets using your newly drafted pattern piece. I recommend finishing all edges so they don't get frayed and stringy in the wash. (something that's happening with the first pair of pockets I did!) there's nothing anyone hates more than a pantsleg ful of stringy pockets!

An easy way to finish the edges if you don't have a serger is to use your standard sewing machine to zigzag stitch around the edges. If you don't have a sewing machine at all how about a nice blanket stitch around the edges? If you don't have a needle and thread to do that then I have no idea what to tell ya, this is a sewing tutorial… maybe use duct tape?



2. Fold your pocket piece on the fold line and sew along the side seam. Repeat for other pocket piece.



It's just that simple! Bam! Now you've got your new pants with too-short pockets, and two pockets you're gonna add on! Pow! Lets' get to makin a connection!

step 3: sew the new pockets to the short pockets!
1. Ok take a deep breath, you're about to cut up your new pants! They should still be inside out from when you made your pattern piece. Using your scissors, you're going to cut off the very end of your too-short pocket, where it's sewn shut. Go on, try it. I'll wait.

Is it cut? Good. Okay, do the same for the other front pocket. You should now have a pair of pants with completely useless pockets, meaning they have humongous holes in em! Do not carry money in these pants til you've finished fixing the pockets! I would recommend finishing the cut edges of your too-short pockets, too, to avoid a stringy mess in the wash.



2. Take one of your pocket pieces and turn it inside out. The seam you've sewn should now be on the inside of the pocket piece. Take that piece, and insert it into your too-short pocket with the bottom of the pocket piece pointing towards the waistband of the pants. match up the open edges of the too short pocket and the new pocket piece, matching up where the fold and the seam meet.



3. Pin the edges together and sew! Use a ½" seam allowance, and a sewing machine if ya can. When I wrote this tutorial my machine was in storage, so I handstitched it with a nice strong backstitch, and it's held up beautifully in the wash.

4. Repeat for the other pocket.

5. Turn everything right side out and marvel at how awesome pockets you can actually put stuff in are!



6. Do a happy dance!

7. Send me 20 bucks!

8. Repeat steps 6 and 7 as needed.

When I first tried this out, I was working a little out of order, making the pocket pieces first using an old pair of pants as a guide, and cutting them down to fit the new pants pockets if that makes sense… which worked out fine until I forgot to cut one down, meaning it was time to revise the steps for public consumption. But I still gotta share the fruits of the labor with ya, and now without further ado, as promised, here are pics of THE LONGEST PANTS POCKET IN THE WORLD!

Ahahahahah false alarm folks, I just realized I have no idea where my digital camera's battery is… so you're gonna have to wait a bit on actual photos… sorry! but it'll make it that much awesomer when you finally see it, i swear!

8.10.2008

hearts and laserbeams book report: are you there, vodka? it's me, chelsea

if you watch the e! channel a lot, maybe you've seen the chelsea lately show starring chelsea handler, and if you've seen it, i'm sure you'll agree that hells yeah this is one of the funniest late night shows ever! she, her gang of hilarious guests, and her sidekick chuey (a mexican midget and yes that is every bit as awesome as it sounds) never fail to send josh and i into hysterics!

last month josh saw chelsea's second book in barnes and noble and picked it up and, well, i beat him to the punch in reading it! i highly recommend it, and lemme tell ya we'll probably pick up her other book too (my horizontal life).

*****

are you there, vodka? it's me, chelsea by chelsea handler

this book, in a word, is fucking awesome. if you'd like to read a tell-all book about all the trouble someone's gotten into throughout their life so far, including getting pulled over for dui with hilarious results, partying with a midget with hilarious results, and getting a massage at a seedy massage parlor with hilarious results, then good lord this book is for you.

i laughed my ass off all the way through it, the end!

there's really nothing else to tell. it was 264 pages of booze, dope, midgets and hilarity!

ratings:
5 hearts! this book could not have been any better, it was all-out funny start to finish! it made me wish there was a 24-hour chelsea handler tv channel!

no farts! see above! the end! game, set, match!

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8.03.2008

poket monster

ok so recently i had to buy jeans, which is always an ordeal because i don't shop very often. by the time i get around to buying jeans again, the ones that fit real well last time have been redesigned or discontinued, and it starts a whole new cycle in the "lets find pants that fit but aren't so low-cut my crotch is showing" shenanigans.

buying pants usually takes me about a week of trying on at least 50 different pairs of pants.

but that's not what this blog's about - this time i found jeans i loved relatively quickly at charlotte russe!

the only problem with said jeans is i can't really carry much of anything in the pockets, which is a big deal with me. there's certain things i like to have in my pocket at all times, and having em in my purse instead just isn't as handy. and then when i go to bars or whatever, i hate bringing a purse so i need pockets that can actually hold my id and money, etc. without feeling like the shit's gonna fall out.

so last night i took my 2 new pairs of charlotte russe jeans into stephs sewing sergery. (patent pending patent pending patent pending that is an AWESOME name for a sewing show for the love of god please don't steal it) i used the front pockets of an old pair of levis to cut the pattern for the new pockets. the plan was make the pockets the same size as the levi's pockets, and then when you get em onto to new pants you cut a chunk of the top of the pocket off because there's already some top pocket there.

first pocket on pair 1 went off without a hitch - i was feeling lazy and sitting on the couch watching showgirls, and i figured i'm gonna do these completely all hand-stitching, that can't take too long right? so i backstitched the shit outta that first pocket, cut the top off so it would be a normal sized pocket once i got it attached to the existing pocket, and realized that whole thing had taken like an hour.

are you kidding me, i'm not spending 4 effing hours putting pockets on pants! so i got out my trusty serger and used that to sew the seam on the remaining 3 pockets. that took about 3 seconds. took one of those pockets and attached it to the other front pocket of pair of pants 1.

and then, as i was turning everything right side out again, i realized I HADN'T CUT THAT POCKET DOWN BEFORE ATTACHING IT! so now i have a regular pocket on the left hip, and a MONSTER POCKET on the right. it's amazing, the pocket ends about 5 inches above my knee. it's the longest pocket in history. when my hand goes in the pocket all the way to the bottom, most of my forearm disappears into it. IT IS AMAZING.

the best part about it now is i always felt like having my phone in my pocket looked kinda weenery, but now when it's in the monster pocket it's on my thigh instead of right next to my crotch, so everybody wins. hooray!

ALSO, and completely unrelated - who knows rss feeds? why can't/don't i see comments in my blog on my website? i know i can switch to wordpress which will work better with the website i've got going now, but i hate the idea of having my blog in two chunks - the first 6 years on one blog and everything else on the other... thoughts?

8.02.2008

progess!!

finally! i can report massive progress on the website!

i'm still working on getting ssl certification set up on the site, but was able to list lots of stuff tonight - with the moving plans in the works, i've had to put away all my paintings and crafting supplies for now, but this'll really free my brain up to figure out the logistics of gettin outta soCal so HOORAY!!!

details soon, when we figure out the for sure plan!