so in pilates tonight, the sub instructor was very intent on explaining in detail how to do different things. to the point where she would go around the room and check and make sure the 15 or so people that showed up were doing the technique right. as she walked around the room she would tell us that after she passed us we could rest.

i was the end of the line every time, so i made a joke about how she should start checkin out my end of the room first. a couple of the ladies near me chuckled, cuz they're in the same boat, right? the teacher was very very serious about what she was doing and completely misunderstood and started talking about how she'll give more attention to our side of the room during the next exercise, because she thought we were all annoyed that we were being ignored.

we really just wanted to be lazy.

at the end of the class, for the last five minutes, she had us relax. which entailed lying on our mats, turning the lights out, closing our eyes, listening to her talk about relaxing our bodies, and falling asleep. she tells us that (insert culture that invented yoga/pilates here, i was busy falling asleep) have tones that they listen to while they're doing this and i start picturing her taking out a little fisher price xylophone and playing some notes while we relax and i swear i'm the worst human being ever, because when she started singing to her pilates class i just wanted to bust up laughing, apologize for being an insensitive bastard, and walk out.

after that we were told to stretch and sit up, and she told us some more about how that culture whose name i missed had a word that they said to each other at the end of a yoga or pilates session... and here she's trying to be all new age meditation guru, and it just came out sounding really funny:

"in (culture name), they say (foreign word i can't remember) to each other at the end of "ATTENTION YMCA STAFF - JOE SCHMOE TO THE SHARK TANK, JOE SCHMOE TO THE SHARK TANK" sorry about that, at the end of class, and it means (something about my light bows to your light or something like that)"

what is my point? poo lattes is great, especially when no one farts on you, and i think everything is hilarious. the end.