brooke could insert any of the following names in her very bewildered reading of "the baby's father is ________" paternity test papers on b&b tomorrow and i'd be fine with it:

-former russian leader mikail gorbechov
-mikail barishnakov
-carrot top
-your mom
-ronald mcdonald
-norm macdonald
-all the members of fleetwood mac
-a mack truck
-mick jagger
-norman rockwell
-colon forreal
-dirk diggler
-all the members of the wiggles
-noo noo the creepy vaccuum
-fabio
-derek zoolander
-a monchichi doll
-michael jackson
-andre 3000
-batman
-elvira, mistress of the dark
-sally the big nasty redhead
-santa claus
-satan
-big gay joe
-pinchy
-shaft
-mr. universe
-patrick swayze
-frankenstien's monster
-a rotten hot dog from the dumpster behind kroger
-alan alda
-the abominable snowman
-the ghost of christmas past
-the dude
-pootie tang
-jane goodall
-alfred e. newman
-zorflik and zorflok, defenders of stuff
-a dude dressed up as a blood drop
-a carnie named earl
-the sausage king of chicago
-the mattress king of long beach
-emeril lagasse
-the ragin' cajun
-the rock
-rock hudson
-princess buttercup
-boooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! boooooooo i say!!!
-hey you shut up i'm naming names here.
-boooo-what? oh sorry about that, please continue
-thanks jerk.
-martin scorsese
-donatella versace
-george michael
-a magically brought to life through the powers of movie magic snowman named jack frost
-sasquatch
-chief oshkosh
-the staff of mundo latino
-a tapioca pearl

feel free to add your own fatherly speculations here!