all right, that's it. you shouldn't have to scroll through miles of shit just to get to the funny comments. it's... it's.... it's unamerican!

we now return you to your regularly scheduled friday, already in progress.

WE HAVE TV!!!

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

dehdohdee2 (6:55:10 PM): HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOUR RESUME IS HOTT!!!
swirlogirl (6:55:15 PM): hahaha
swirlogirl (6:55:19 PM): man shit
swirlogirl (6:55:30 PM): thanks slut
dehdohdee2 (6:55:31 PM): did you send a cover letter of some sort?
swirlogirl (6:55:45 PM): yeah of some sort in the email
swirlogirl (6:55:57 PM): i got called for an interview at byrds cookie company today too haha
dehdohdee2 (6:55:58 PM): okay good. i won't kick your ass today.
swirlogirl (6:56:01 PM): HAHAHA
dehdohdee2 (6:56:03 PM): AHAHHAHA nice!!!
swirlogirl (6:56:07 PM): and i didnt send them a cover letter btich!
dehdohdee2 (6:56:19 PM): are they hiring for the same job as your last interview with them?
swirlogirl (6:56:27 PM): haha i think so
swirlogirl (6:56:32 PM): well its assistant graphic designer
swirlogirl (6:56:37 PM): so i think essentially the same thing
dehdohdee2 (6:56:42 PM): lime cookies for everyone!
swirlogirl (6:56:51 PM): mark and i are discussing degrassi
swirlogirl (6:57:00 PM): the new season starts april 7!
swirlogirl (6:57:11 PM): and its the goes there'iest season yet
dehdohdee2 (6:57:11 PM): i might have tv by then!
swirlogirl (6:57:15 PM): ahfkjshdkfj!
dehdohdee2 (6:57:26 PM): this whole tv ordeal is seriously pissing me off
swirlogirl (6:57:36 PM): hahah whats up with trhat
dehdohdee2 (6:57:39 PM): it's been since end of february
dehdohdee2 (6:57:43 PM): okay here's the story
swirlogirl (6:57:51 PM): parents just dont understand
dehdohdee2 (6:57:53 PM): so josh has a condo, right?
swirlogirl (6:57:58 PM): yeah
dehdohdee2 (6:58:00 PM): and the building has a dish on it
swirlogirl (6:58:04 PM): condos are for old poeple i thought
swirlogirl (6:58:08 PM): AHAHAHHA
dehdohdee2 (6:58:09 PM): with those direct tv people
swirlogirl (6:58:11 PM): yeah
dehdohdee2 (6:58:21 PM): and you have to go through this other company to get the dish hooked up
dehdohdee2 (6:58:31 PM): which josh just hasn't gotten around to yet
dehdohdee2 (6:58:35 PM): and i'm all dude.
dehdohdee2 (6:58:37 PM): DUDE.
dehdohdee2 (6:58:42 PM): we have to get tv when i move in
swirlogirl (6:58:44 PM): he needs his ass kicked
dehdohdee2 (6:58:46 PM): we HAVE to
swirlogirl (6:58:47 PM): hahaha
dehdohdee2 (6:58:51 PM): so he calls them
dehdohdee2 (6:58:58 PM): and they give him an appt for end of feb.
swirlogirl (6:59:01 PM): i know cuz once you get it he will be like how did i live without it
dehdohdee2 (6:59:09 PM): they show up, connect some wires
dehdohdee2 (6:59:30 PM): and you're supposed to get two different channels on the tv saying it worked, and then you finish setting up the acct.
swirlogirl (6:59:36 PM): yeah
dehdohdee2 (6:59:37 PM): so one channel worked, and one didnt
swirlogirl (6:59:42 PM): ohh snaps
dehdohdee2 (6:59:44 PM): meaning there's a wire that's fucked up somewhere
swirlogirl (6:59:48 PM): noooooo
dehdohdee2 (7:00:27 PM): and josh kind of mentally shut down because everything in this place has been a battle since he moved in, from mold to the front porch light not always working to the jerks in the next building that play their music super loud 24 6
dehdohdee2 (7:00:29 PM): i mean 7
swirlogirl (7:00:43 PM): ahahahha
swirlogirl (7:00:44 PM): jesus!
dehdohdee2 (7:00:57 PM): so they tell him okay we'll send a construction crew out tomorrow to fix the wire. be here 9am-5pm and we'll get here sometime then
dehdohdee2 (7:01:00 PM): but they never showed
swirlogirl (7:01:06 PM): fuckers!
swirlogirl (7:01:13 PM): fudgepackers!
dehdohdee2 (7:01:18 PM): and then he called and i dont know what their excuse was, but they made another appt
dehdohdee2 (7:01:32 PM): and that appt, a week later, they didn't show up to either because the dudes car broke down
dehdohdee2 (7:01:45 PM): but they never called him, so he ended up wasting his day off stuck in the house waiting
dehdohdee2 (7:01:55 PM): so they make another appt the following week
swirlogirl (7:01:58 PM): what a bunch of dirty mutual funders
dehdohdee2 (7:01:59 PM): but never showed AGAIN
dehdohdee2 (7:02:10 PM): so he calls, and they never even put him on the repair schedule that time
swirlogirl (7:02:19 PM): jiminy!
dehdohdee2 (7:02:19 PM): so he calls again a few days later
dehdohdee2 (7:02:38 PM): and by this point he's completely fed up with them, and starts swearing at them on the phone
dehdohdee2 (7:02:42 PM): and hangs up on em
swirlogirl (7:02:52 PM): AHAHAHAH
dehdohdee2 (7:02:56 PM): so i'm like okay dude, let's just call the cable company and get digi cable
swirlogirl (7:03:03 PM): AHHAHA
swirlogirl (7:03:05 PM): yeah
dehdohdee2 (7:03:14 PM): and he's all man i don't even WANT tv anymore. you call em
swirlogirl (7:03:17 PM): brb
dehdohdee2 (7:03:22 PM): k,
dehdohdee2 (7:03:27 PM): i'm gonna keep writing my story for you
dehdohdee2 (7:03:51 PM): so i call charter cable, and they say sorry we don't do digi cable in long beach yet but we will later this year
dehdohdee2 (7:04:15 PM): and that's the only cable company that'll do anything with our address, so we're like shit, okay we'll get basic and then later this year we'll switch to digi
dehdohdee2 (7:05:38 PM): and we tell them about the month long ordeal we've already undergone with dish network, that a wire's cut somewhere, will charter cable have that same problem? and when they send the dude to install the cable, can they make sure it's someone who could fix the wiring problem then and there so we don't have to wait around anymore?
dehdohdee2 (7:06:19 PM): we call them three more times to make sure that direct tv's wiring issues will not also be charter cable's wiring issues, and they keep telling us no, it's no problem, there's been cable at your address before.
dehdohdee2 (7:06:22 PM): okay cool
dehdohdee2 (7:06:36 PM): so last thursday comes around, and josh is waiting for tv AGAIN
swirlogirl (7:06:37 PM): sheesh!
dehdohdee2 (7:06:39 PM): and he's not jazzed about it
dehdohdee2 (7:06:50 PM): but i tell him dude, relax, it'll be cool this time.
dehdohdee2 (7:07:01 PM): so they show up at 830am, very punctual-like
swirlogirl (7:07:06 PM): yeah
dehdohdee2 (7:07:09 PM): and realize that shit, there's a wiring problem here!
dehdohdee2 (7:07:18 PM): and they leave and say someone will be back at 3pm
swirlogirl (7:07:22 PM): and then they break josh's faberge egg!
dehdohdee2 (7:07:30 PM): AHAHAHAHHA YES!!!
swirlogirl (7:07:33 PM): HAHAHAH
swirlogirl (7:07:41 PM): so then what happend
dehdohdee2 (7:07:46 PM): okay so then, someone comes back at 3 to look at the wiring problem
dehdohdee2 (7:08:04 PM): and finds out that this entire half of the building isn't even wired for cable anymore.
swirlogirl (7:08:11 PM): what!
dehdohdee2 (7:08:11 PM): MEANING:
swirlogirl (7:08:15 PM): how does that happen
dehdohdee2 (7:08:18 PM): WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH DIRECT TV
dehdohdee2 (7:08:27 PM): i don't even know!
dehdohdee2 (7:08:31 PM): what a big fat fucking mess!
swirlogirl (7:08:33 PM): wanh wanh wanh wannnnnnnh
swirlogirl (7:08:35 PM): hahahah
dehdohdee2 (7:08:38 PM): i just wanna see jeopardy, dammit!
swirlogirl (7:08:40 PM): did a wacky trumpet play
dehdohdee2 (7:08:45 PM): totally!
dehdohdee2 (7:08:56 PM): so saturday i call the company we have to go through to get the dish
dehdohdee2 (7:09:54 PM): and i explain that josh is completely fed up with them and their jackassery, so i will be setting up the account. and the chick i talked to was actually helpful, and said oh, dispatch has gone home for the day, call me back at my extension on monday and we'll schedule the construction crew to come out
dehdohdee2 (7:10:39 PM): so i call her today, and after about 20 minutes on the phone we've got an appointment for wednesday, where supposedly this ordeal will come to an end and we can watch something trashy like boston public reruns
swirlogirl (7:10:45 PM): ahahahha!
swirlogirl (7:10:58 PM): which only comes on liek TV ONE .. some new black floks channel
swirlogirl (7:11:03 PM): i dunno if it is even nationwide
dehdohdee2 (7:11:19 PM): michelle's got the day off, so she's gonna hang out here from 9-6 waiting for them
swirlogirl (7:11:24 PM): its like aBET but for non gangstas
swirlogirl (7:11:29 PM): thats cool
dehdohdee2 (7:11:39 PM): i hope i hope i hope that they actually show this time so we're not wasting ANOTHER day off on them
dehdohdee2 (7:12:11 PM): you know what, i was gonna blog something but i didn't know what to blog about so i'm just gonna post this conversation because i don't think anyone else has heard the story either
dehdohdee2 (7:12:26 PM): and damn it feels good to be a gangsta
swirlogirl (7:12:36 PM): hahahaha ass
dehdohdee2 (7:12:40 PM): p.s. mr winkle sucks!

also, before i get on the phone with the next guy... my phone apparently doesn't like sending pictures to my blog anymore, which means you guys never got my post about scary stories doing all the easter art for target this year. I EFFING LOVE IT. go check it out!!!

okay i'm on the phone right now taking care of address changes with credit cards, car insurance and all that, right?

the bank of america hold music is an elevator music version of the "greatest american hero" theme song. love it!!

to my left, a bed full of things that need new homes.

to my right, a big fat spot where my computer will go tomorrow.

moving's a bitch, and so's...

oh dear lord i'm too tired to come up with that chick's name? you know, the plastic face one with the stoopid daughter.

JOAN RIVERS. that's the name. aaaaaaaaw yeah.

in two weeks or so, expect more posts and actual artwork updates, as the move will be done and josh and i won't be quite so frazzled. not that we're actually all that frazzled. there's just so much to do right now.

and i cannot WAIT for sidewalk arts. i think we should do the ultimate cliche square, with our artwork containing the following: a manhole cover, some cracks in the sidewalk with something coming out, some sort of anti-scad political mumbo-jumbo, a couple of toys sitting on top of the thing that we swear are part of the art and aren't they cute shouldn't we win, bubbles, rainbows, and last but not least, big fat letters that read BERNIE CASEY 4EVER!!!

okay, so that last one almost never makes it onto a sidewalk square. but i think 2006 might just be his year, don't you agree? i'm just throwing things out here, but maybe he needs a square where he's dressed as a lady from the red hat society? or he's just making out with one? or he's helping nerd persecution come to an end somehow?

you put what? in their what?

i just want you all to know that after a long hiatus full of soul-searching and hobo-punching, josh has returned full-force with a solid gold post!

okay, so sunday afternoon i went to a wedding expo with michelle, ann, and my neice hailey. we mostly went to get free cake and hors devouers samples, of which there were slim pickins... the two cakes we did eat were tasty though. and it was discovered that though they look real cool, chocolate fountains are much more trouble than they're worth. though the pictures of the mess are adorable. stay tuned for when my computer makes the trek to the new place, pics will follow!

i know the past couple posts have been wedding wedding wedding blah blah blah, but this post will be different! (except for the fact that i already mentioned the wedding). this post will be about how josh and i were almost on a reality tv show! a wedding reality tv show! (HAHAHAHAHHAHAH i'm such a damn liar, you're already hearing about weddings again! pow!!!)

so at this expo, there was a table set up by the E! channel. and they're taking applications for their new show, "last bride standing: to have and to hold". it's gonna be this hour-long special, where 7 chicks hold on to a wedding dress over an ungodly period of time, and the last one holding the dress wins a designer wedding gown made specially for them.

me, i'm not so interested in designer duds. i'm currently wearing my target jeans and explodingdog tshirt. but make an ass of myself on cable television? YES PLEASE!

so i went up to the table and start talking to the ladies running the audition. and i filled out the paperwork, and they videotaped me doing and interview with them. and i had em laughing the whole time, it was pretty awesome, and i was super jazzed about my chances. even more so when we found out a short while later that one of the ladies i had been talking to, that was laughing so much, was E!s casting director.

lo and behold, this afternoon i got an email saying congrats! if you read and sign these legal release forms we'll seriously consider you for the show! I ALMOST CRAPPED MYSELF RIGHT THEN AND THERE!!! shit! steph on tv!?!?! YES PLEASE!!!

but then i got home and started reading the forms, and taping starts on april 9, and would be at least 3 days. meaning i'd miss time from work. not a big deal, but josh and i are already skipping out of four days of work at the end of april for sidewalk arts shenanigans. i feel like i'm too new at mighty fine to take that much time off right this second, you know? i don't wanna tarnish the reputation and all that. cuz i really, really dig this job.

so i had to kick myself in the ass and write an email to the fine folks at E!, telling them thank you SO MUCH, but explaining why early april just will not work for me, and could they please keep me in mind for the future?

and that my friends, is how i almost became a reality tv star but then didn't. the end!

so i gotta clean crap at my old apartment all day. fridge, those screenprinting screens, and so on. who wants to do it for me? i'll make it worth your while and buy you a burger from that mcdonalds next door where all the bums hang out...

okay seriously. i think i may have an addiction problem... i decided i'm gonna try and find a cool vintage dress on ebay for the wedding, and i am COMPLETELY ADDICTED to thinking up new searches to try, including:

white dress
white vintage dress
white tulle
white prom
white wedding
billy idol
white dress retro
white wedding retro
white wedding vintage
kick jenns ass
white christmas
white lines, pure as the driven snow

in the past three days i've probably spent a total of 6 hours on ebay looking at dresses. the upside, i've seen tons of dresses. the downside, some of them look like this.

p.s., the date has been set for sure, check it out kids we're gettin hitched november 11 2006! power to the people!

ohhhhhh kiddies.

guess who just got tickets to go to savannah in april!!!

oh yes. there will be blood.

i'm so excited i just peed my pants!

in honor of chuck norris' birthday today, how about you go here and find out everything you ever wanted to know about the guy but were araid to ask.

afraid because the chief export of chuck norris is pain, bitches! happy weekending!

man oh man i hope some of michelle and i's jr sr video project gets picked for their music video... i just watched the footage again this morning as i was putting it on the computer, and can i say that we are completely retarded? it's awesome.